{NSFW} Etiquette?

I’d ever so politely ask if she would spit or swallow.Keep a napkin handy don’t you know.

OK. When I first started seeing my boyfriend, I had never even gave head before. I was very willing to. So we did and he always said when he was about to come and I would stop. When he first came in my mouth he warned me first, I enjoyed it and now do it often. I can’t understand why a woman would spit, by the time she has gathered it all, to spit, she might as well of swallowed it! If you are clean, then it shouldn’t be a problem. I love giving head, and from practice, you just know when he is about to come.

I give warning, that way it’s up to her how to handle it.

@Dibley a/s/l?

I would never shoot first & ask question later, that just seems rude. I always give plenty of warning so she can get to a safe distance. I’m not entirely sure I’d want to…. in her mouth as it would mean I couldn’t kiss her anytime soon.

@FutureMemory What does that mean?

I usually warn a girl I will tap her shoulder when the time comes and let her decide the best coarse. : )

A bad joke :) It stands for age, sex, location.

@FutureMemory Oh, 31, female, England

No no I’m not genuinely asking. The joke was I suddenly became interested in you after reading your sexy answer.

Just tell her when you’re about to come. Personally, the thought of semen makes me gag (a lot of things make me gag though, no surprise. I envy @Dibley‘s ability). I give crappy blow jobs anyway though.

@FutureMemory I know.

@dee1313 I’m sure they’re better than none at all!

@FutureMemory hahaha hilarious.
@Dibley Your answer was great!

I give warning, i learnt my lesson, i popped off early my first time back when i was a teenager. Luckily she took it like a trooper and wasn’t upset. Couldn’t kiss her goodbye though. haha

Am I missing something here? Sex for the 1st time – unprotected???? And don’t tell me a blowjob isn’t sex.

@netgrrl To be honest it’s a risk I’m generally willing to take. I know I’m clean and hopefully my girl knows she is as well. Not the wisest approach but there it is.

She’s a “new lady friend” and you’re just assuming she’s clean. You know you are – because you have a routine STD screening every three to six months? Yes. Even unprotected oral sex can put you or your partner at risk for chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes and syphilis. Completely irresponsible – and dangerous.

@Cloverfield Yeah, my husband would probably agree.

@FishGutsDale I won’t give my husband a blow job unless he’ll kiss me after. May sound gross, but I’d rather have kisses myself. And I kiss him after he goes down on me, so what’s the difference?

That’s what the Mars Lights on the head board are for.

@netgrrl I know what your saying but you asked if you were missing something. Yes you are missing something. The question. I don’t believe i asked for criticism of my sexual antics thanks. I’m a big boy.

@dee1313 It just wierds me out.

@FishGutsDale If she knows what she’s doing you won’t notice anyway ;)

Ok, the answer is simple. If a couple is having protected sex, they’ll have time to have an adult conversation, preferably not in the heat of the moment, about preferences.

My first time no one was thinking about protection. last thing on my mind was possible consequences except the obvious good ones. I was pretty young the first time tho.

@netgrrl so you and your husband(?) had an STD test before getting married and having unprotected sex?

@FishGutsDale It used to weird my husband out at first, and I understood, but after a while I told him to get over it. Its like I’m being punished by withholding kisses for giving him a blow job. I wouldn’t expect him to kiss me after he’s come in my mouth, but since that grosses me out, I never have to worry about that happening. Basically, why should I stick it in my mouth if you don’t want your mouth anywhere close to mine after? Its all up to personal preference, really. If your lady friend is cool with it then there’s nothing to worry about.

@netgrrl Did you know that just kissing someone puts you at risk for herpes? Should I wear plastic on my mouth for that? Discussing this in the heat of the moment kind of ruins the moment. If she’s that concerned about it, she’ll says something beforehand (which is what I did). As back up, the guy should warn her.

I was dating back when safe sex was your parents not finding out. Yes, I dated in the 70’s when it was “if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” It’s my sons & daughters in their 20’s now that I hope are taking a responsible attitude. I’m not making judgements about how many partners you have – only the potential risks.

@netgrrl I understand that and appreciate your experiences, hindsight is 20/20, but it did come across a little judgmental.

@dee1313 Yes, I’m very aware of the risks. This is what I’m saying. I’ve talked to many who knew they were clean or thought their partner was too – until they get the bad news. Oh well, I’ll get off my soapbox.

@Fishgutsdale My apologies. I don’t sit in judgement of anyone – I just like to see people play safe.

I just let it happen, chances are the lady in question will have been down this lane before!! Far be from me to give her directions if she’s already down there, she obviously knows here way around…. ;-)

@netgrrl And what you’re saying is good; not many people think about using a condom for blow jobs (what would you use when a person goes down on a girl?). But its more of a thought on the side than an answer to the question.

Answering the question as is, I’d hope the woman would simply let the guy know. It’s not that hard (ahem) even in the heat of the moment to simply say, let me know when you’re about to come.

@dee1313 That’s why dental dams are so handy. Geez, I didn’t mean to sound so preachy. I’ve been divorced since ‘95 and in & out of long-term (and not-so-long-term) relationships. But it’s out there & many younger people today don’t seem to fully understand the risks or are in denial. I know far too many people in their 20’s & 30’s now living with herpes etc because of it. Women in their 20’s undergoing treatment for cervical cancer – and all of it preventable.

@dee1313 I must say, dental dams are a new one on me…. I just had to Google it.

Unlubricated condoms can be used as latex barriers for going down on women – cut off the tip & up the side to make a rectangle. Also useful for rimmimg. But not lubricated ones – unless you want your mouth to go numb. ;)

In our case we had been in a close relationship fo four years. Because of injuries, my lady was unable to have sex and I was afraid to press the issue for fear of hurting her. I waited for her to ask. I found out later that she had been asking her doctor for quite some time if it was safe. As soon as the doctor said it was alright, she just about attacked me that evening.

The previous year I had proposed marriage, but Meg refused as long as she couldn’t have “normal” relations, even though I told her it didn’t matter to me. I had been doing oral for her for about a year before that, her injuries wouldn’t permit more and psychological trauma made it difficult for her to do oral, so I never asked. My only reward was seeing her joy. She was not being selfish, she just couldn’t do it.

The morning after we first had sex, I served her breakfast in bed and had the ring on the tray. We married six months later.

This became our custom, that Meg always initiated. This was probably left over from the long period of time when she had been injured and I was afraid of hurting her.

If a woman is really good she can put a condom on a man & he’ll never know until after it was there. wink Just sayin’.

I give her a verbal warning and let her decide what to do about it.

Like @Dibley said, I always know when my boyfriend is about to shoot his load so that’s warning enough. I am happy to swallow, spitting just makes a mess anyway!

When I did do it (back when I dated the fellas), I would want them to give me a warning because, really, it doesn’t taste all that good (to me, it tasted like bitter seaweed). A few just went ahead., no warning. It was nasty..

The ladies taste so much better.

I have to say I’d doubt I’d survive long in a relationship with someone that wasn’t willing to kiss me after. I mean, if I can deal with the taste, it’s only fair.

My answer is given assuming that man and woman have both been tested for STD’s and are safely having sex.

I can usually tell when a man is about to come and I swallow. Spitting is just gross and makes a mess, as does finishing up by hand. If you are with a girl who can’t tell, it is polite to tap her on the shoulder or let her know some other way that you are almost there.

I would like to add that I would never give a blow job to a man who refused to kiss me afterward. It is your sperm why on on earth would you punish me for giving you pleasure?

@jjmah Seriously, we women do taste sooo much better.

If it’s the first time with the lady and you’ve never discussed spit/swallow, then it’s polite to warn when you’re about to cum. I typically know when the person is going to cum, but it gets me off more to hear them say they’re about to cum, just like they have enjoyed hearing me tell them when I am about to cum. I’ve spit and swallowed, all depends on the situation and my mood. Some men have preferred I spit because they enjoyed seeing it ooze down my face. Also some enjoy cumming on parts of my body. It just all depends, but I definitely was unhappy with a few guys who I couldn’t tell with so they came in my mouth.

But seriously, women taste sooooo much better. nomnom

@SuperMouse Yes! Exactly!!

What is it with everyone, why the big deal. Why all the warnings for when your going to shoot? If she is giving head, then obviously your going to come, it’s part of the job.

@Dibley I dunno, to me it just seems disrespectful to let fly without warning.
To be honest, the thing thats suprised me most about this whole Q & thread is that women let men blast away in their mouths at all.

@Cloverfield I can understand for the first, until she knows when he is going to do it, but after that, she should just know. But then I probably do it a little too much.

@Dibley Like I said, if it’s with the girl for the first time and they haven’t discussed it, I’d say it’s in poor taste to not warn. I doubt the guy would want her to gag so much that she vomits on his dick….

@Dibley I think I’ve run out of obscure euphemisms for orgasm :(

@paintmeblue Like I said, I can understand it for the first time! If she knows what she is doing after that she will know when he is about to come. If she is going to be gagging, then maybe she shouldn’t be doing it all.

My mind is boggling. How could there be no warning? Are guys silent during this? Even if they are, how can you not tell?

Even with women, who are reputedly more difficult to know—sometimes they don’t even know themselves—you can mostly tell, and if she likes to vocalize her enjoyment, it is pretty easy.

Vocalization—part of the fun, it seems to me.

I used to assume that giving blowjobs was just a chore for women, performed for the guy, but not because they got any pleasure out of it. I used to think that swallowing was a disgusting thing. I loved receiving them, but could never ask for them.

A couple of years ago, on a similar forum to this one, I asked, and found out, to my delight, that I was wrong. I even found out that some women enjoyed doing it on demand, so to speak. Later, I found out that my wife enjoyed it, too, although she doesn’t always act like she does. But finding out she could like it was a revelation!

@wundayatta What a perfect answer.

@wundayatta Some of us are quiet…. I’m certainly no Screamapillar, the thought of grunting away like some porno star rather embarrasses me.
I was just like you, I thought it was something ladies figured they should do rather than something they wanted to…. still struggle to really believe that.

@Cloverfield Believe it. I really love my boyfriend and I think that helps a lot. He is clean and has plenty to offer down there! I love feeling him grow, I love it when he pulsates, I love it when he shoots. I never did it to my ex, thankfully. The ex before that, I tried but he wasn’t clean, and there was no way. The thought of him in my mouth was enough to make me gag. But if it’s clean, no problem.

I prefer a verbal warning so I can move out of the way. Semen tastes nasty =/

@Facade So why do you do it?

@Dibley We’re not talking mushroom man again are we? :)

@Cloverfield No, I was meaning my first serious boyfriend. I was with him 5 years and never did it once.

@Dibley Hehehe, sorry, the whole mushroom thing is killing me here…. people are starting to look!

@Cloverfield Well, can’t say it killed me!!!

”It’s not poison, you won’t die..” Bob Dylan

@davidbetterman Great answer.

@Dibley That’s like asking why have sex if you don’t want semen in your vagina. Each of us has the right to augment our individual sexual endings. I don’t have to be came inside of if I do not want to be. Good for you if you want to swallow a man’s babies. Don’t badger others for not wanting to do the same.

@Facade Ouch! Don’t you want seman in your vagina either? Your life, your choice. If I didn’t want seman in my mouth I wouldn’t give head.

@Dibley You really don’t get it, do you? Ah, well..

@jjmah Am I missing something?

@Dibley Yea, I give up.

@Facade Oh, that’s fine.

@Dibley Yep, you are. Lots.

I’m done with this.

@jjmah Because I like giving oral???? Ok, then I’m missing something and proud of it.

I’d be horrified if a guy came in my mouth without any warning. It’s disrespectful to say the least. I’ve only ever given one guy head – my ex. I didn’t really enjoy it, but I did enjoy making him happy because I loved him. Anyway, it’s very much a personal preference. If I can give head to a guy I love without swallowing his spermatoids, then we’ll both be happy.

@Dibley Your way is not the only way. Some women can still enjoy giving a bj, even if they don’t like to swallow. Personally I hate swallowing. I gag very easily. I will swallow occasionally for my hubby, but lucky for me he’d rather see it on my titties or my face. That I prefer myself. I’m not going to deny my husband an excellent bj just because I don’t like to swallow.

To answer the question, my husband will warn me sometimes but as other women have stated, some of us can tell when it is about to happen. ;)

@jonsblond I’ve never claimed it is.

@stardust You deserve a ‘Great Answer’ for spermatoids :)

@Cloverfield I love spermatoids, oops, I’m not supposed to am I?!

@Dibley Hah, each to their own’s what I say!

Ive never given thought to doing anything but swallowing so i guess ive always assumed that the guy assumed i was going to as well, and immediately we’re on the same page lol

@deni I agree.

@Dibley You asked @Facade why she gives head if she doesn’t swallow. Then you said: “If I didn’t want seman in my mouth I wouldn’t give head”.

You are insinuating that those that don’t enjoy swallowing don’t enjoy giving head.

@jonsblond No, I wasn’t. I said I wouldn’t give head, if I didn’t like seman. I do, so I do.

@jonsblond she still won’t get it. Sadly.

@jjmah My boyfriend does and that is all that counts!

@paintmeblue I just read your post….. I love the munching noises you added on the end :)

“Can I buy a clue?”

I’m outta here. For reals, now.

@jjmah Why don’t you enlighten me as to what your problem is, like I am supposed to be a mind reader or something?

@Dibley we tried, but, you’re clueless and it goes way the hell over your head. I’m bored with trying, anymore. Back to work.

@Dibley Your comments imply that those of us who don’t swallowing are doing it wrong or something when that is not the case. That’s the problem.

@jjmah Is it because I don’t like eating pussy?

@Facade I didn’t mean to imply that. I was just saying that if I didn’t like it then I wouldn’t do it, that’s all.

I expect a warning and give warning of impending doom. Like, “I am cumming!” Or, “OOOo baby, I am About to cum. ”
That is so hot. ;-)

At that point you/I have been warned. What you do next is all up to you. Now that there are no surprises.

And you better swallow!

@ChazMaz As always, great answer.

@Dibley Your comment to @jjmah was uncalled for.

@Dibley You’re answers are sometimes coming across as if you know all there is to know about pleasuring a man and that if others feelings about certain things (ie: spitting or swallowing) differ to yours then they can’t possibly be as good as you are in the sack. I think that is what @Facade and @jjmah are trying to tell you and maybe that is what @jjmah means when she says that you don’t get it. I’m sure you don’t mean to come across like this but your obsession with letting people know how much you enjoy certain things is actually having the opposite effect. You sound like you are trying to persuade yourself that you enjoy it. Also, @Facade was right, your comment to @jjmah was extremely uncalled for.

It is best to give warning. Most women then know what to do, whichever they prefer.

There’s a lot of defensiveness going on around her, and for what purpose? To make everyone angry? It’s not worth it. Please, ladies, try to cool down and drop it.

I don’t get some of these replies – my partner never has to tell me he’s about to come, I just know by many physical signs (I think it’s kind of hard not to know) and I brace myself for the impact, so to speak. I don’t spit.

[Mod Says:] Flame off folks. If you disagree do so respectfully without personal attacks.

Personal or off- topic quips will be removed.

“You’re answers are sometimes coming across as if you know all there is to know”
Is that not the case for all answers. We can only give an answer as it applies to our own life. Or cut and paste from Wikipedia. :-)

I never take anything personal here. Neither should anyone else. But it is fun to watch. ;-)

@FishGutsDale did specify that this is the first time this lady is pleasuring this man – in that case it is easier to understand that she might not know when he is ready to blow. However, the physical signs are pretty standard so it shouldn’t be too tough for her to figure out the end is near…

I forgot to add: I do like a fair warning. If I’m taken by surprise then I tend to maybe not be ready and some might slip out…and nobody wants that.

@deni – I just Jizzed in my Pants!

@ChazMaz hahahahahahahhahahahhahhhahahhahahahhahah. hahahahahaahhahah. of course…...........

@Leanne1986 Yes my comment to @jjmah was uncalled for, I realised that after I logged off. I guess I was frustrated at her for not explaining herself. Thank you to you for explaining. I understand where you are coming from. I was only simply answering the question asked and then saying that I enjoy it. I think if there was a question about anal and I said I didn’t like that, then there would be people saying how great it was and I should try it.

I’m a female and prefer some verbal communication during the act. I am happy to and enjoy giving a male oral but sometimes I’m in the mood for him to finish off in different ways, I kind of feel I’m entitled to direct the finale :P

@Dibley No worries, I didn’t think that you meant to critisize others sexual habits and preferences.

I think it is best when a guy says, “I’m about to cum”, or like my bf says, “you ready for it?”

@Violet i agree. what if he doesn’t warn you, and i just happen to stop for that second to sneeze or swat at a bee or scratch my chin or something? what a horrible ending.

“you ready for it?”??? LOL

What a stud!

I was going to say almost exactly what wundayatta said. I don’t really keep it a secret that it is approaching.

I doubt many men will admit this, especially considering the direction this thread has taken and some of the defensive answers posted above, but whether or not a woman will let a man jizz in her mouth (and whether she subsequently swallows or not) often serves as a sort of “test” of her level of sexual repression/open-mindedness. To many men it says a shitload about her personality and how much she is willing to give (or accept, heh) sexually, which of course reflects her attitude about the relationship overall.

Right or wrong, you decide…as I’m sure many of you have

I like to give oral. I do not enjoy the taste of the aftermath, so I hold it like a trooper until he’s done, and then I spit into a convenient tissue (or rag or something). It does not ruin his pleasure, and it does not make a mess. I just gag if I try to swallow – physically can’t make myself do it. That doesn’t mean I hate giving head, it just means I make sure there’s a handy rag nearby.

I know my guy’s sign of impending doom; he doesn’t have to tell me – it’s something you learn from paying attention.

And finally, I will say that he never enjoyed receiving before I came along. Ex wife wouldn’t do it – was grossed out at the idea – and other relationships were too short for this to really matter. The fact he could enjoy it and see what all the fuss was about was a revelation to him. We enjoy this a lot; it’s standard. I just can’t gag it down.

@FutureMemory well that would be a silly test really. Many women adore their man or women .. in many ways, loving them, listening to them, some feed them. Care about their lives, their pain, stand firm in hard times. So swallowing a bit of cum is a poor test of what she is about and what she might give.

@laureth “impending doom” LOL. GA!

@Just_Justine I know it’s a sweeping generalization, but sometimes it can be very accurate.

I loved you answer @Dibley , Exactly the way my wife does it! Q for you dib- Do you toss your hair while moving around doing the blowjob?

@FutureMemory Oh, I’m very open-minded sexually with my husband, just my throat isn’t. ;)

@jonsblond I think he was meaning one of many indicators… I think .. not THE indicator

@deni ah ha ha ha! I never thought of it like that before. But those are all great reason why a guy should give a woman warning.
@ChazMaz : )

@FutureMemory Some men, yes. But others such as mine feel as though it’s disrespectful to come in their woman’s mouth. Like it’s kind of degrading. I disagree, but that doesn’t really matter.

I prefer some warning. There have been occasions where the orgasm has come on suddenly and I get shot in the back of the throat. I’m not a fan.

Also, is there another acceptable spelling of ‘semen’ that I’m not aware of?

I guess I should clarify my statement… I don’t keep it a secret but it doesn’t come from oral ever so she need not worry about a surprise

@ubersiren hehe

@Violet & @ChazMaz Re: ‘Are you ready for it’ This guy is ‘The Master’ & it gives me an dea for a question :)

@Cloverfield my boyfriend is actually a really modest person, and you’d never think he’s say that if you met him. He’s become really confident in bed, and I love it! I’m excited to see what your question is going to be about : )

All this debate over a blow job?? It’s only a protein shake after all, Lol… when I’m blessed with one I always return the favour if she’s willing, no big deal…… :-/

@Scooby I don’t think there’s really a debate. Some people just have different preferences than others is all, but there are people who think that others’ preferences are wrong which is the real problem. It’s just silly.

There is another side to this discussion.

As a guy. After you take my gift. I am not big on kissing after. Unless you rinse your mouth out. Yes, there are heat of the moment exceptions.

But as a general rule, it is not my cup of tea to taste my own.

What about the rest of you?

@ChazMaz I’m right with you good buddy, man-jazz just aint my bag!

@FutureMemory You are exactly right. I never did anything but sex with my exes, and boring sex at that. I never 100% found them attractive. My partner now, I find so very sexy so I want to do everything with him, to him, for e.t.c. Best shut up now though before the stones start throwing again!

@ChazMaz No, we don’t kiss each other after oral.

Because it is yucky or you fall right to sleep? ;-)

@ChazMaz He falls asleep, I’m always wide awake! I would kiss after oral, but I don’t think he really wants to kiss me after he has come.

Cmon. I would be irritated and annoyed and a little pissed if my boyfriend refused to kiss me after he came in my mouth. If its ALL going to be in my mouth, believe me, a split second later i’m going to make sure its ALL swallowed. I don’t want any lingering around in there any more than he wants to taste his own cum….so it shouldn’t be a problem. So you better kiss me. lol.

@deni What a great answer.

How encouraging. “Let me come in your mouth… No, don’t kiss me; that’s gross” :|

@Dibley ahthank you, thankyouverymuch

@Facade exactly

At least have a really good, lip smacking swallow.

@ChazMaz Hahaha, thats nasty :)

ew

@Facade Sometimes the truth just aint fair :)

@Facade My girl always made yucky faces when I kissed her after eating pussy.

@ChazMaz I think that I just threw up in my mouth a little.

So glad that I don’t have to do that shit anymore. :)

@FutureMemory Yea I think I make yucky faces also.

Come on kiddies. We are talking about sex.

Nasty, dirty,wet,erotic, passionate and hopefully juicy. SEX.

With a splash of compassion in the mix. :-)

If you can’t get past the bodily fluids and the other things that can be produced.
What fun and pleasure can you derive from it?

@ChazMaz & perhaps a spurt of good fortune too!

“a spurt of good fortune”

That sounds like code for golden showers. ;-)

@ChazMaz If I put that I would get shouted at soon!! But yes, that’s just what I like.

@ChazMaz HEY…DONT PREACH TO US MISTER!! you said up there that you wouldn’t taste your own juices!

You are not suppose to read that far up!

@ChazMaz sassypants

@deni @Dibley Easy now ladies, I’m Chaz would agree that there’s plenty of him for all of you!

Right!

@Cloverfield Are you saying he wants a threesome with me and Deni?

oh thank god i was getting worried

wipes sweat off brow

@Dibley such has probably been the case for ages now…. ;)

@deni Ha, yea probably, knowing chaz.

@Dibley @deni Well….. I dont want to speak for the big man, but I cant see him saying no if thats an offer :)

@Cloverfield Big man?! Florida was it?!

Hey! Stop coming to conclusions (reading my mind) about me.

You are both as are others on here. Very special ladies. I think of as friends.
Anything else are your desires and wants.

And yes. It is Florida.

All right @ChazMaz which is it? Do you refuse to kiss a girl after she has swallowed your load or should we all relax and get past the bodily fluids in order to derive enjoyment from sex? You so can’t have it both ways! lol4rl!

If a guy refused to kiss me after he came in my mouth I would not suck him off. Period. I wouldn’t even suck him off and spit or finish with a hand job. It is his jizz he needs to man up and deal with kissing the girl after she has taken it in. FYI, I will kiss my man after he has gone down on me – without making any funny faces – fair is fair.

Yes and yes. Did not say it was going to be easy.

@SuperMouse fantastic answer!

@ubersiren

Yep! I agree just silly ;-/
we should all just get down & dirty, have some fun & open up to no holds barred 69 specials, each to their own …….And in answer to the other question, I always kiss the girls that swallow :-/
share & share alike………;-)

“I always kiss the girls that swallow :-/ ”

Even after what she swallowed was mine?

@ChazMaz

You can kiss the girls that swallow your own as long as you know you’re clean ;-)
if not you shouldn’t be,, Poor girl :-/

@ChazMaz Would you rather kiss a girl who had just swallowed someone elses???

Hey, you can’t throw my humor back at myself.
Check the Fluther by laws.

@ChazMaz Please accept my humble apologies.