General Question

Mtl_zack's avatar

Whats the right answer?

Asked by Mtl_zack (6759points) April 10th, 2008

when girls ask “does this make me look fat?” are we supposed to be honest or lie and say something nice.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

55 Answers

Breefield's avatar

Oh my, this is difficult.

a.) You say no (they wouldn’t be asking unless they were fat) so they know you’re lying to them and get mad at you for lying.

b.) You say they’re not slim, but they’re not fat. They’re offended.

c.) You say yes and you die.

So, I think the only good response to this question is to try and not answer it at all costs. Or get caught not answering it, just pretend to ignore them, and if that’s not possible go with answer a. because their’s always the change they think they’re skinny.

hairypalm's avatar

Ask her what the Spark plug spacing is for a 2008 zo6 after you put 34,221 miles on it.

Breefield's avatar

@hairypalm, that’s good. Too good…

Randy's avatar

hairypalms got it right! Change the subject!

St.George's avatar

Always say, “no it doesn’t.” Getting ready to go out is not time to get into a heavy discussion about body image. If the size of your partner’s bum is bothering you, bring it up another time. Also if the size of your partner’s bum is bothering you, you might want to find yourself another partner – or she may want to.

peedub's avatar

brilliant. Equally as difficult.

hairypalm's avatar

Hey what can I say. I have been married for 5 years….....works every time. she just slapped me tho…

peedub's avatar

mind if I recycle that?

hairypalm's avatar

As long as you score me it’s all good. I want to catch up to Riser some day….

delirium's avatar

You say “No, you look beautiful.”

(Unless it really does look bad, and then you explain that its really not what you’d choose for her to wear.)

Perchik's avatar

If you actually have a good relationship you should be able to talk about it. Ask her if she really wants your opinion. Tell her if the outfit makes her look fat or not. There are some clothing shapes and cuts that accentuate wrong parts of a womans body. Tell her that you think that she’s gorgeous but that that the outfit does not work for her. If you’re with the right person, she won’t get mad.

If she’s asking you honestly, she wants your honest opinion.

delirium's avatar

I agree wholly with you perchik. Nathan tells me when something doesn’t look good, or when i’m trying too hard to be unique. I love him even MORE for doing it.

hairypalm's avatar

No you don’t say that, good relation ship or not you don’t do it. my wife even agrees. o you look uniqe allright. keep up the good job. O and those pants look good on you.

Perchik's avatar

Well then mate, it seems like you might not be in the right kind of relationship.

delirium's avatar

Yes, you do say it. It depends what you’re in the relationship for or not. Nathan would rather I look good, than think I look good and be lied to.

hairypalm's avatar

What do you think Breefeild? Some one who is a expert or them? Chuck Norris knows even not to answer that question. Who do you think taught me?!!!

Breefield's avatar

I don’t know then, I suppose it’s a time thing, depending on the kind of relationship and the length of time you’ve been in it. But to be on the safe side try and not tell her she’s fat. I once called a girl “husky” by accident….

I got hit in the balls oooh so hard.

bassist_king1's avatar

just be all like “huh? i didnt hear you, say that one more time. actually, one sec, ill brb i gotta use the washroom, and then go like ur gonna go to the bathroom door, then run for the car and drive away!! lol :P

delirium's avatar

If she’s asking and she doesn’t really want to hear the answer, she’s playing stupid games and isn’t worth it anyways.

Mtl_zack's avatar

i find that there are too many men answering this question. maybe another womans’ perpective (other than delirium). after all, men dont really know the answer.

and sorry if i said that your not a woman if you are. all i know is that delirium has a boyfriend, so thats how i know shes a girl.

Breefield's avatar

That’s what it really comes down to Delirium, it doesn’t matter what us guys think anyways :p Girls are really dressing up to impress each other, they should ask another girl and let them deal with this silly question.

hairypalm's avatar

Shes’s not a woman shes half robot.

Riser's avatar

Yes Delirium has to be a girl because no guy has ever dated a guy… ever.

Sing with me: We’ll have a gay ole’ time!

Mtl_zack's avatar

@riser: sorry about that. i forgot that you were on fluther. i guess i havent seen you active as much.

Perchik's avatar

@hairy, not to derail this conversation further . but of course delirium is half robot, you can’t be that gorgeous with only 24 chromosomes.

peedub's avatar

I feel like most of the time I’ve been asked that the girl didn’t actually look fat, and in some cases far from it. Maybe I’ve been fortunate or maybe I have a different perception of fat. Perhaps the overweight girls Ive been around know the answer or don’t care.

My ex would ask me this and sometimes I would laugh. She would then usually admit how crazy she was being.

hairypalm's avatar

I Like big butts and I can not lie…......(and the mic gets handed off to peedub)

peedub's avatar

FfffffresssshHHHHH.

hairypalm's avatar

O okay sorry

Perchik's avatar

Meh hairy, take it to private messages.

delirium's avatar

No its not a mullet, they’re dreadlocks, and they’re wonderful. Just about the most attractive look a guy can achieve.

pattyb's avatar

if you do not want to be late, say no.
But really, how it looks is individual perception, so you might as well say it looks fine and move on.

nocountry2's avatar

“Babe, you look hot no matter what….but I DO prefer the fishnets.” ;)

simone54's avatar

I think most of you are all confused. They really don’t wanna know what you think about the pants or what not. It’s just a trip. Women do that shit all the time.

hairypalm's avatar

hey Simon , remember he does not want guys to answer, even if it’s guys whom this has happend to. He is going to Listen to a woman/robot over us.

LunaFemme's avatar

My husband will avoid answering the question at all cost. He figures it’s a no-win situation because I will not only analyze the answer but also analyze HOW he answered, i.e speed of response, inflection of voice, time til we need to leave.

To be fair…..as a woman I rarely will ask if I look fat; however, I will ask him his opinion on an outfit when I’m feeling
hesitant about my choice. On those occasions I typically do want the truth.
I do have moments of insecurity when I truly do just want him to tell me I’m beautiful, but I’m typically upfront in those moments.

spendy's avatar

Tell the truth. If we want our ego stroked, we’ll tell you…otherwise, just let us know whether or not we look good in “these jeans” or “this skirt” and don’t mince words. Besides, if we don’t particularly like your answer, that just makes it easier on us when we’re 3 minutes from leaving the house and notice that the shirt you picked out looks like crap. We won’t mince words either. ;)

8lightminutesaway's avatar

Some women want the truth, some think they do and don’t want the truth, and some just want to see what you’re going to say and will probably get pissed either way. I think it was quite harsh to say hairy is in the wrong the relationship when he said he’s been married to her for 5 years. I mean, you don’t know her, I’m betting shes probably the kind that just wants to be told she looks fine. Did anyone ever think that maybe all women weren’t the same?

Personally, I’d probably tell the truth and be soft about it too. If they got angry I’d just tell them how ridiculous they’re being. But trust me, there ARE crazy girls out there who just want to hear you say “no you look great” or maybe they want to get in a fight. I’ve dealt with myself and we talked about it later, and she knew was being crazy and apologized for putting me in that position. about a week later it happened again.

Bsilver's avatar

Truth is usually the best way to go, although, I would go with “yeah, you look pretty fat…” but maybe something along the lines of “it’s not the most slimming piece of clothing you have…”

@ mtl_zack- one must take into account that Riser is not the only gay male around here…

^sings with Riser^

El_Cadejo's avatar

Im a guy so i guess my answer doesnt count, but damnit ill answer anyway! lol. Anywho…

I think its best to be honest with your girlfriend when shes asks you anything. Why would she ask if she didnt want your honest opinion. I dont know about any of you but i would hate to be with a girl who would ask me trick questions like that. Isnt the point of a relationship to be able to bond with someone and share all your opinions with eachother, being totally open about everything? ...eh maybe im just in a weird relationships? I think communication is a very important thing between two people and is what really makes the relationship. Why be with someone you have to lie to? So yes when my girlfriend asks me does this make me look fat? I answer the question honestly. Like perchik said not all types of clothing look good on girls. Certain stuff looks bad with her body type. Why would she ask me if she didnt want to know?

sndfreQ's avatar

“I think you are beautiful and stunning” and leave it at that.

8lightminutesaway's avatar

I agree with uberbatman. That might seem contrary to what I posted earlier but I should add that I try really really hard not to pass judgement on others. If they have a relationship that requires some lying and they’re happy, so be it, I’m a different person and I can’t tell how they should be. The relationship uberbatman describes is what I would like and strive for, but at the same time I recognize that other people may not and I just wanted to express my discontent with others saying hairy wasn’t in the right relationship.

Perhaps true love is different for different people. Ah, I’m inspired to ask a new question… wait for it…

TheHaight's avatar

I work in retail, and its the most humiliating thing when im in the fitting room and a lady asks ME if she looks fat!!!! And most of the time they do, but id never tell them the truth unless I want to get my ass fired. Some of them are crazy… One lady handed me some maternity pants she tried on but didn’t want and she said to me “I’m not pregnant, just to big to wear regular clothes”... Now what the heck do you respond to something like that?

Since that’s a stranger, its nice to kind of lie, but not to extreme. Like say “no, but you should try the bootcut jeans instead”

Now, if its your boyfriend they really should be honest but nice/sincere about it… If there rude to you about your weight then leave them

LunaFemme's avatar

@uberbatman…In my first marriage, my ex & I never lied too each other to the extent of being beyond brutallyy honest. After awhile it kinda sucked. Current husband has permission about white lies, ie do you like my new hair color. I’m much happier & I completely trust him to never lie to me about the important stuff. In some ways I have more faith & trust in him then I did with brutally honest boy.

There is a time & place for everything.

El_Cadejo's avatar

eh Luna i guess that just proves 8lightminutesaway point even further than huh? Cause ive never been happier.

gr8drmrs's avatar

it’s not the outfit that makes you look fat

LunaFemme's avatar

Pretty much uber. Different things work for different people. I strongly believe too much honesty can be a bad thing. For instance, even if my ex had wanted to have children he wouldn’t have chosen to procreate with me because I’m genetically inferior. We were together for 10 years & are still loving friends. I loved & respected him for his honesty but it stung deep down.

El_Cadejo's avatar

wow im sorry you had to go through that, but then again would you have wanted a lie?

spendy's avatar

@LunaFemme, that’s awful…was he a younger guy?

LunaFemme's avatar

@spendy….no we were the same age. This conversation was had even before we married. Since I was young I’ve wanted to adopt children & haven’t felt a strong need actually birth my own child. So, it was always okay with me in a weird way.

@uber….I have mixed feelings. I understand the reasoning behind his eugenistic beliefs but don’t necessarily agree. I love him for being THAT honest but truthfully, there is a place deep @ my core that is/was very hurt. Sometimes I feel I never needed to know because we had already decided we didn’t want children, so what was the point in me knowing at THAT level??? Does that make sense????

nocountry2's avatar

“Genetically inferior”???? What was he, a german Aryan from the Reich?? That just reeks of arrogance and superiority… Ewww

delirium's avatar

I have to agree with nocountry here. Holy crap. He seems like someone who doesn’t understand what is okay to say and what isn’t. No man has any right to determine whose genetics are okay and whose aren’t (Only women get to make these decisions. ;) )

FlutherMother's avatar

@lunafemme – well, you may be “genetically inferior” (and I highly doubt that – I am sure you would have had wonderful childen if you chose to!), but being that he thought that just goes to prove that he is mentally inferior. Aren’t you glad you didn’t procreate with him and have to worry about your offspring getting his pathetic mindset??

cwilbur's avatar

If I’m asked “Does this make me look fat?” I ask, “Do you want an honest answer?”

If you don’t want an honest answer, don’t ask me the question. If you want validation, I’m happy to provide that, but not in the form of dishonest answers to questions you don’t want the answer to.

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