General Question

AshlynM's avatar

Is it ok to send invitations out through e-mail?

Asked by AshlynM (10582points) December 20th, 2011

This includes wedding, anniversary, birthday, and formal dinners.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

11 Answers

comity's avatar

To my mind for some events, like birthdays, it’s OK. This is the internet generation, but for people who don’t have computers, are not internet savy, the old fashioned way of mailing invitations you know will reach them, is best. As far as wedding invitations, I’m an old fashioned girl!

marinelife's avatar

Not for a formal event like a wedding.

Everything else it is OK.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I guess if it is for a “whoever wants to come” kind of event, then it would be appropriate. For instance, an office pot-luck or a family reunion notice. But if you want your recipients to feel like you really want them to attend, an e-mailed invitation would not give that impression.

Cupcake's avatar

I sent out email invitations for our wedding, but it was not a formal wedding. In addition, I sent family members home-printed invitations.

Personally, I don’t like getting paper mail… but electronic things can get lost in the shuffle. There are pros and cons to each.

JLeslie's avatar

I think for weddings a “save the date” via email is ok, but the actual invitation should be through good old fashioned snail mail whether the wedding is formal or not.

If something like a barmitzvah or anniversary is going to be a very formal event, again I am still with formal written invitations, but if the occasions are not being celebrated in a very formal way you can use email or evites.

Just my opinion, I haven’t read any etiquette advice on the topic from any of the etiquette authorities.

wundayatta's avatar

If you want people to take something seriously, send it via mail. You know what people do about evites and so-on. Very few people take a commitment via email to be a very serious commitment. It’s just email.

If you seriously want someone, then you invite them in the most formal means possible. If you invite them in a less formal way, you are telling them you aren’t all that dependent on them showing up.

My guess is that between 5 and 25% of people evited to an event show up. Perhaps 25 to 50% of those who accept an evite will actually make it to the event.

Formal written invitations asking for an rsvp probably get close to 95% of those who say they accept the invitation to actually show up. If you need certainty, send a formal invitation.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I don’t like it but since this is the internet generation, it looks like that’s becoming the norm and few people seem offended. I wouldn’t do it for any sort of formal occasion like a wedding, funeral or anniversary party.

JLeslie's avatar

@wundayatta Good point. I had not thought of it from the perspective of receiving valid RSVP’s. Although, I agree with your overall statement, I do think RSVP to Evites through an Evite email invitation are a little more reliable statistically than you state. Evites on facebook, and other social networking sites are very unreliable in my opinion. People check attending similar to how they click on “like.”

Cupcake's avatar

FYI: We had no issues with RSVPs from evite for our wedding. A couple of people who RSVP’d didn’t show; a couple of people who didn’t RSVP did show. Not everyone we mailed paper invitations RSVP’d.

wundayatta's avatar

@Cupcake How interesting. Would you say your group is very tuned in on Evite? Having the same rate of no-shows and no-replies-but-shows for mail and evite really surprises me. Do you think this is normal, or is your crowd special in some way I can’t know about? What age range are they?

Cupcake's avatar

@wundayatta I think only the younger and tech-savvy people were accustomed to Evite. The invitees were 30–60 year-olds. I have no idea if it’s normal, but perhaps people took it more seriously because it was for our wedding reception. Granted, our wedding took place outdoors in a park and we bought chicken, hot dogs and veggie burgers to be cooked for our guests (meaning that it wasn’t catered and there was no per-person or per-plate charge)... but it was a wedding reception (with ~100 guests).

I can’t imagine that our “crowd” was special in some way… since our guests were relatives, friends, co-workers and religious acquaintances. I haven’t seen Evite used often in any of those groups.

One of the really nice elements of using Evite was that people could write their best wishes on the wall, which were especially meaningful from the out-of-towners who were not able to attend. We’ve saved the page and printed out all of the replies and kept them as a memento.

P.S. I just realized that the paper invitations that we sent to family members was for the wedding only. We had a small, intimate wedding with family (limited to parents, siblings, grand-parents, aunts and uncles) and especially close friends (~40 people). Then our more extended family, friends, co-workers, etc. were all invited (by Evite) to join us afterwards for the reception. Maybe that makes some kind of difference.

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