General Question

Khajuria9's avatar

Are you able to answer the question concisely "What I want from my life"?

Asked by Khajuria9 (2129points) May 2nd, 2014

I am standing at a point in life where I can’t really figure out what I want in my life. Is it money, material possession, job, love, sympathy, care, what? I don’t understand.
I really can’t decide where my life should go as it is so uncertain, I don’t quite understand what I want from it, where I want it to go. Why I want it to be there?
Have you faced such a situation? How did you overcome that? What do you think I should do to know what I really want to do with my life? I don’t even know what I like and what I dislike, its a state of total chaos. Please.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

20 Answers

Cruiser's avatar

I can only suggest making a list of your likes and dislikes and keep it with you at all times and the minute anything inspires you good or bad, write it down on that list. Eventually you will see a pattern and from that pattern you should see more of what it is that makes you tick.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I think your feelings are normal. Does anyone really know what they want? I didn’t know where I wanted to live, what I wanted to be, what I wanted out of life. But while I was thinking about it, life kind of just happened.

What worked for me is to change the things I knew I didn’t like, as I figured out that I didn’t like it. I have had a very enjoyable life, although not very well planned. If I had decided what I wanted to do earlier, it wouldn’t have helped because I change my mind a lot.

28lorelei's avatar

Is there something you really love or could not live without? If you figure out what that is, you can build on it. I used to have no clue as to what I wanted to do, but once I started figuring out what it is I love to do, I started building in that direction. Do I have all the specifics figured out yet? No, but that will come.
@Cruiser has given you a good idea too. It will help by giving you a concrete list of what you like and don’t like.

hug_of_war's avatar

I think it helps to get enough experiences to show you what you don’t like. Even though I have a degree in X, it wasn’t until I started working in a closely related field that I really felt like X was where I needed to be.

I can now say things about my only real relationship that were not working for me. I now know what is acceptable and what isn’t to me.

I’m still figuring things out, it’s a process.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I thought I knew what I wanted out of life and was quite satisfied about being there —-. until I was diagnosed and treated for prostate cancer almost 5 years ago.

After that day, my goals got much simpler yet no less intense. All I wanted was dry pants and a woody.

It took that life shaking event to teach me that good health trumps almost everything.

Dan_Lyons's avatar

I want to advance myself as much as possible in case you start out the next leg of this journey at the level of which you leave this one.

ragingloli's avatar

A reasonably long life with comfort, free of disease and hunger, and lots of porn.

stanleybmanly's avatar

The great failing in my life is that I’ve never known what I wanted to do. When I was a kid, and others would ask ‘what do you wannabe when you grow up?” My answer was “what are you talking about? I’m not going to grow up” My wife swears to this day that I still live by this assessment, and all who surround me are its victims.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

I never really had no direction on where I wanted to go. The problem was finding a way there. I would suggest to you, is figure out where you would like to be at 55 to 60yr. and do things today that will get you there then. That might give you some immediate direction.

ninjacolin's avatar

What is “your life” ?? How do you define that term?
I think you might find some good answers by figuring that out.

fluthernutter's avatar

I want to experience the beauty that life has to offer (both the light and the dark). I want to find new beauty each day. I want to appreciate the beauty I have around me every day. I want to create beauty for others (both personally and professionally).

And I want to teach my children to see and find that beauty in their own lives when I am long gone.

Think back on the moments in your life that have moved you (for better or for worse). That might be a good starting point.

elbanditoroso's avatar

I can’t now, and I couldn’t when I was 20 either.

I think its because if I made my wants too much a guiding light in my life, I would be disappointed – even angry – when life didn’t work out the way I had imagined, no matter how silly (or unrealistic) my thoughts were..

By pointing to one single goal, it tends to lock out all the others. I’d rather experience success (and failure) and learn from both.

I would recommend NOT locking yourself into a “this is what I want” framework, because you’re not being fair to yourself.

Brian1946's avatar

I want happiness and good health, for my wife and me, until we’re at least 100.

Coloma's avatar

Money, which equals freedom from oppression and freedom to be and live as you so desire.
I enjoyed that lifestyle for a long time and I am just fine without a lot of material possessions, relationship, stuff, but I miss my FREEDOM, the freedom money brings to the table.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Knowledge, acceptance, and freedom.

@Khajuria9 I used to be in the same situation like you. I didn’t even know who I really was. I was considered “a jerk” and everything I liked were considered “odd”, “unacceptable”... I tried to adjust myself to the crowd but it was impossible (really, how could you find joy doing something you didn’t like?) I once questioned my very existence and wonder what I really wanted.
<A big hug of sympathy>

OpryLeigh's avatar

Inner peace and contentment. Sounds really cheesy but it’s so true. I don’t know how to get it at this point, I currently work my arse off for little gain and feel I have zero time to sit back and enjoy the simple pleasures. I enjoy work and certainly don’t want to be sitting around doing nothing all day but I would like a little more time to enjoy nature, sit down with a good book or simply enjoy a cup of tea without having to neck it so I’m not late for something.

Response moderated (Spam)
talljasperman's avatar

Good food , good fun and good friends.

LDRSHIP's avatar

Becoming the strongest version of myself. Being truly happy with oneself. An endless journey to build who I am. And in that I find happiness is something that is not constant. There is no point that I’ve found for myself in which I was perfectly happy. Reaching out for everything else and leaving your foundation (person) in the mind, body and spirit. In my experience left me empty at times.

Nothing wrong with that going after everything else. However, when something I would fail at, or a change which through me off. Challenges and so on…..I had to come back to myself. It wasn’t everything else as much as it was can I trust myself? My metaphor for myself is I am building a sculpture or a a brick wall if you will. In which piece by piece I am creating myself. Defining. It is a process.

Spend sometime alone. There is a video I was watching and the guy goes hey spend some time alone. I dare you to spend time by yourself. You’re so busy talking, thinking and looking at other people and their life you forgot to live your own.

Here is the full video if interested

For me I am still learning and growing. There was this idea in which I believed that a single thing,goal or point in my life would tie the knot. It would magically make sense of everything. Wrong. I was very wrong.

It is never ending. When I stop moving forward in some way or another. I am literally approaching death standing in place. I mean think about that everyone has a clock and it is ticking. Do something that improves you. Keep moving forward. Because one thing that is certain you are losing time.

The only other thing I will say, is this just my personal views from growing, learning and thinking my past 23 years of living. Who knows what it will be like in the future. Will my mindset be different? You are going to have go out and in whichever way you attack it – Figure it out for you.

LostInParadise's avatar

As hackneyed as it may sound, the older I get the more I believe that the key is love, in the widest sense of the term. “All you need is love,” as the Beatles said. Love of others, love of learning, love of teaching, love of debating ideas and love for the beauty around us, wherever you can find it.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther