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elbanditoroso's avatar

Why do women post such off-putting pictures on internet dating sites?

Asked by elbanditoroso (28840points) October 3rd, 2014

[I’m sure that men do too, but I wasn’t looking for men.]

I was browsing through a couple of internet matchmaking sites earlier in the week. I observed that a number of women (not more than 25–30%) post pictures that aren’t particularly complimentary to themselves.

If pictures are supposed to be a way of “marketing” yourself, they’re doing themselves no favors. For example:

- frowns
– what appears to be an ex-husband (although I can’t be sure)
– close-up of a tattoo
– the woman’s dog (not a picture of her, just of the dog)
– pictures taken from a distance – where the person is so small you can’t even make out her face
– pictures that are either too dark or too overexposed
– pictures where the person is one of a group of 5–6 people and you have no idea who is who

Do people think about the pictures that the post on these sites? Do they realize that a frown face on a dating profile is a turn-off?

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9 Answers

ucme's avatar

Probably due to those who use dating sites are essentially desperately sad loser types with little or no common sense to speak of.

hearkat's avatar

When I was using internet dating, I wanted someone who chose me for who I am, not what I look like. I did post a photo of my face, and promptly rejected any man who immediately requested a photo of my body on the presumption that they’re shallow motherfuckers just looking to get laid. I did state in my profile that I am overweight, so I wasn’t trying to deceive.

Perhaps what you view as a frown is what they imagine a sexy pout is supposed to look like? Similar to the ‘duck-face’ selfies that were everywhere on social media a year or two ago. Anyway, I ultimately decided that there were far too many needy, unstable people on there and that finding the wheat among all that chaff was an exercise in futility. I deleted all my profiles and started getting out and doing things I enjoyed. Within a year, I met my fiancé.

longgone's avatar

– close-up of a tattoo

– the woman’s dog (not a picture of her, just of the dog)

– pictures taken from a distance – where the person is so small you can’t even make out her face

– pictures that are either too dark or too overexposed

– pictures where the person is one of a group of 5–6 people and you have no idea who is who

All these ^, I would classify as an attempt to present one’s personality while preserving anonymity.

flutherother's avatar

A lack of self confidence. If you don’t really try you can’t really fail.

Pachy's avatar

I rather doubt people purposely post off-putting photos (dig that alliteration! “Off-puttedness” is strictly in the eye of the beholder.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I wonder why they do the same thing on facebook.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

This is how it’s done. This lady has the right approach.

keobooks's avatar

I have seen men guilty of the ex in the picture too. Once I was browsing a dating site and a guy had obviously posted his wedding picture and just cut it in half. You could still see the bride’s dress in the corner! Not only is that tacky, the picture is probably dated unless the guy is seriously bad at relationships.

I have a very unattractive relative who is single. She always puts up group photos of herself or pictures of herself that are so far away you can barely see her face. Maybe she thinks there’s a chance she’ll get a call if the guy can’t tell which one is her? I think it’s a safe bet that if you see a group shot, pick out the least attractive one and there’s your girl. Funny thing is—she’s the pickiest woman I’ve ever known when it comes to men. She refused a guy’s offer because he didn’t wear socks in one of his pictures.

Coloma's avatar

I had several “bait & switch” dates from internet dating sites over the years. Men do the same thing. Their picture shows a younger version of themselves, usually with hair and in good shape and then when you meet they are bald and paunchy. lol
I don’t know why people think they can get away with being less than 100% honest.

One of my famous tag lines that helped eliminate the pervs was ” Unsavory Jacks will promptly have their beanstalks chopped down.” haha Tell it like it is Coloma style. :-)

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