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Sunshinegirl11's avatar

Should you give everyone a chance?

Asked by Sunshinegirl11 (1107points) August 27th, 2016 from iPhone

Hello! I’m sorry, I’m notorious for asking dating questions on here, but it gives me comfort in hearing everyone’s opinions!

My question today is…. Should you give everyone a chance? As in, at least go on one date with them? All of my life I’ve been the girl who writes people off automatically. But in the previous responses from you guys in previous questions, a lot of you mentioned that the first date is kind of the “tester” date. In that case, wouldn’t it be fair to just give every guy a chance? (Unless he comes off as dangerous in some way). I mean, I would want the guys I’ve been interested in to at least give me a chance before completely writing me off.

What are your opinions?

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20 Answers

kritiper's avatar

Sure. Anyone can have a good idea and there are two sides to every story. But dating?? I won’t go out with dudes, or overweight unattractive females. You have to draw the line somewhere if you wish to remain sane and self-respectable.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

You don’t need to give everyone a chance. If you already know a guy is an asshole or are not attracted to them then saying no is what you should do. That said there benefits to getting to know people who may think differently, run with another group of people or are probably not thinking about even asking you. The two women I have had serious long-term relationships with I did not consider at first for various reasons.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well since you specify “dating,” my answer is “No.” Not unless you know them fairly well. Dates can be dangerous, you know. Especially if they don’t go the way someone plans.

janbb's avatar

I’m in the dating pool now and many guys write to me who don’t seem bright or are not attractive to me in another way. I won’t go on a date with someone if I feel I am wasting my or their time.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

I would not call dates dangerous that’s kind of a skewed reality perception there.
First dates you need to have your own transporation and meet in a public place. Just take common sense precautions and it does not have to be “dangerous” Most guys expect little more than a simple thank you on a first date. If they want more than that on a first then well… look elsewhere.

Dutchess_III's avatar

^^^ Right. I didn’t think along those lines when I was younger, though.

Coloma's avatar

No. You should know your own likes/dislikes and preferences well enough to not feel you have to give everyone a chance. I wouldn’t date a sports hunter that had a house full of animal heads hanging around. I wouldn’t date some steroid pumped up body builder or a hardcore military man/sniper type or someone who was basically illiterate.
I wouldn’t date someone that hated cats and animals, was a heavy drinker/drug abuser, had been to prison for a serious crime or liked to wear my bras and panties while having sex. lol

Having standards and preferences is a good thing, weeds out the incompatibles from the start.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

If someone’s a non-smoker, should that person feel obliged to date a smoker? I don’t think so. The smoker may be kind, intelligent, interesting, attractive, etc., but smoking’s a deal-breaker for just about anybody who doesn’t smoke. There are also many other hard lines that shouldn’t be crossed.

Jeruba's avatar

I don’t think anyone owes anyone a date. Equal-opportunity laws don’t apply in your social life.

Mariah's avatar

No, there is no need to go on a date with someone you’re not attracted to, and you’re allowed to not be attracted for any reason or no reason at all.

LostInParadise's avatar

I am assuming that you divide guys into 3 groups: those you definitely would like to date, those that you definitely would not date, and those you are not sure about. Mostly you should be trying to date guys in the first group, but I don’t see anything wrong with going out occasionally with guys in the last group. Maybe you will see something of interest in the guy that you had not seen before.

Pandora's avatar

No. Not everyone. There is no real way of knowing if someone is dangerous right off the back. If there was, then no one would date them. Dating doesn’t just rely on chemistry or eye candy. Sometimes we react negatively to a person without knowing why and it’s because their body language tells us to avoid them. We should learn to listen to our initial gut feeling. Three times in my life, I ignored my gut feeling and it almost cost me my life.
In today’s world it is advantageous to learn about body language and verbal cues to avoid possible complications. If all checks out there, than, sure, give the person a chance.

stanleybmanly's avatar

If you aren’t interested, that should do it. Girls have a different perspective, due to the tradition of boys doing the chasing. I was always surprised when ANY girl showed an imterest in me. I turned down no one. It was sheer nosiness. She picked me??? Gotta see what makes THIS one tick.

chyna's avatar

No. If a guy is covered in tattoos, with piercings all over his face and smoking a cigarette asked me out, I would not be interested. But there are some girls that would be.
Then again, I think if you are not sure about a guy, get to know him first before making a final decision on dating him. I used to work with a guy that seemed kind of geeky and was pretty short. After I worked with him and got to know him, he was the nicest, funniest guy I had ever met. I became good friends with him and his wife. I have never met anyone that treated his wife and kids as well as he does.

BellaB's avatar

Everyone? no.

Be open-minded? yes.

Dating isn’t a commitment to anything other than an hour or two in someone’s company.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Dating guys you are certainly not going to enter into any long-term deal with is silly. It is a sad but true fact, and quite logical. There are certain physical criteria I have for women I would be involved with and those who are below a sex level I know I would not ever put a ring on it, so I pass them up. Do women do it to me? Yes, and though I may not like it or feel poorly behind it, it is what it is. If you have some wiggle room, good, if you have more, better. Maybe those you would not ordinarily look at you might go out with if they asked, such as you might have a bloke that was 70% of what you like physically but he was too short compared to whom you would have chosen, he might turn out to be 93% of all the personality traits you are looking for, but you would otherwise never discovered had you not dated him.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, you can’t really know ahead of time whether or or not you’re going to enter into a long term deal with. That’s what dating is for. To help make that determination.

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Dutchess_III's avatar

Guys….I think the OP was actually asking if she should be given a chance. Her last line in the detais read “I mean, I would want the guys I’ve been interested in to at least give me a chance before completely writing me off.”

LostInParadise's avatar

@Dutchess_III , I think that statement is a formulation of the golden rule. She is saying that since she would want guys to give her a chance, she should do the same.

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