General Question

Nevada83's avatar

So my boyfriend is trying to fly from Algeria to Springfield, Missouri to live with me, but is there an alternative?

Asked by Nevada83 (554points) August 28th, 2016

He says I can “invite” him to come and live with me… What exactly is he talking about?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

39 Answers

chyna's avatar

Here is a previous question of yours about a guy you’ve been with for 30 months. Is this the same guy? Has this been an internet boyfriend all this time or have you seen him in person?
I have noticed that you never answer questions we have asked of you after you have asked a question. If you could give us more information when we ask you to elaborate, we might be able to help you more.

zenvelo's avatar

He needs to live somewhere else first.

How is he coming to the US? Does he have a long term visa? Is he expecting you to “sponsor” him?

This all sounds bad to me.

Call_Me_Jay's avatar

1)
He’s not your boyfriend.
2)
You don’t know him.
3)
Any other questions?

johnpowell's avatar

This is some sort of a scam. You can’t invite him (that isn’t a thing). He will probably ask for money and then your pillow will learn what your tears taste like.

Move on.

BellaB's avatar

@Call_Me_Jay needs many more good answer lurves.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Here is a list of requirements for Visa

Also you must understand that YOU are responsible for a visitor:

The Sponsor’s Obligations. The Form I-864 Affidavit of Support is a legally enforceable contract, meaning that either the government or the sponsored immigrant can take the sponsor to court if the sponsor fails to provide adequate support to the immigrant.

If your boyfriend turns out to be a terrorist; you may do jail time.

imrainmaker's avatar

Since you’ve mentioned he’s from Algeria.. here’s warning provided by US Embassy at Algeria which asks it’s citizens to be aware of Marriage Frauds
So you better be aware..

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Listen to the advice above and run in the other direction.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

This question is a joke right?

Nevada83's avatar

No, this question is not a joke. Sometimes he can’t explain things correctly, so he probably means something else. We have talked before over video chat, so I have heard his voice and seen his face. My brother found his wife the same way. No, it is not the same guy I dated for 30 months. He actually used to live in Nevada, but he was forced to go with his parents to Algeria. He actually hates Algeria with a passion. He’s actually cried about how terrible it is for him there. So not everyone who lives in countries like Algeria is a terrorist, even if some people seem to think that.

chyna's avatar

How old are both of you and do your parents know about this?

Darth_Algar's avatar

You say he use to live in Nevada? Was he born in the United States?

Nevada83's avatar

No, he was actually born in Algeria. He lived in Nevada for about eight years. He’s hated Algeria his whole life. Yes, both of my parents know. They both completely support us. He’s a really charming and wonderful guy.

Darth_Algar's avatar

@Nevada83

Are ether of his parents US citizens?

Nevada83's avatar

His parents have gone back and forth because of jobs, so they have never been here long enough to be US citizens. I do know that they are not exactly that fond of Algeria either…

imrainmaker's avatar

So his family basically came to US on work permit and gone back to Algeria? Have you met them personally.. him and his family?

Nevada83's avatar

If you call video chat personally, then yes. Before anyone says anything, my brother found his wife the same way…

chyna's avatar

@Nevada83 Where is she from?

Nevada83's avatar

She’s from Maryland.

Nevada83's avatar

I don’t know what difference that would make, though…

chyna's avatar

That’s a totally different situation then. To meet a guy that is from a foreign country and that guy ask you to let him live with you is very suspicious.

Nevada83's avatar

We had already planned on meeting when I graduate from college. I already know he’s clean and everything. Why is it suspicious? We already made the choice either for me to move there, or for him to move here, and we both know it’s better for him here. Again, why is it suspicious? Just because he lives in Algeria?

Nevada83's avatar

There are two people that used to live in Algeria that go to my school, and they’re perfectly fine.

si3tech's avatar

@Nevada83 I think you should speak with a professional counselor, someone who can take a good look at the situation and give you some sage advise. This sounds dangerous to me.

Nevada83's avatar

I have talked to him on video chat and he has proved he is who he says he is… And again, my brother met his wife the same way…

zenvelo's avatar

You brother and his wife are not a concern or a recommendation. What most of us are concerned about is that this is a way used by people in other countries as a way to short cut the immigration process, and, (with no opinion from me on that being right or wrong) could place you in a precarious position.

Video chatting is not the same as getting to know someone face to face. Great that worked for your brother, but it is a much different thing when a woman from a society where women are subservient emigrate to the US and meet an American man; your “boyfriend” comes from a culture of male dominance and female suppression. It is all good until he has control over you, then it can become a living hell.

janbb's avatar

Before he moves here to live with you, you need to meet each other several times – perhaps in Europe or another place. You should not be planning to live with someone you haven’t met in person – no matter how nice he is.

imrainmaker's avatar

It may or may not be the case what people here are thinking. But it’s always in the best interest to take these things very slowly and utmost caution. This is a big decision / step you’re about to take hence need to ensure that it would not lead you to danger if gone wrong.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

This is not going to end well if you continue and this is not a crafty troll.

Darth_Algar's avatar

Meeting someone from another state is vastly different from meeting someone from a different country and culture, especially when it’s someone from a country known for marriage fraud. Now this guy might well be all you think he is. But we don’t know that and, more importantly, neither do you. You know what he’s presented to you from a distance. And good lord, even if he were from the same town you shouldn’t even be considering moving in together until you’ve gotten to know each in person, not just over webcam.

You came to us for advice, so you might want to consider our advice. We’re advising you to exercise utmost caution here. If his parents have, as you say, jumped back and forth between the US and Algeria several times then his family probably has the resources for him to obtain a visa and move here on his own. Meet up several times, in person (no, webcam is not in person), before you even think of moving in together.

BellaB's avatar

@Nevada83 , when will you be graduating from college?

LuckyGuy's avatar

Here is what the US Embassy in Algeirs Algeria says about Internet Romance and Marriage Fraud .”

“Many Americans befriend Algerians through Internet dating and social networking sites and these relationships often to lead marriage, or engagement. While many of the marriages between Americans and Algerians are successful, the U.S. Embassy in Algiers warns against marriage fraud. It is not uncommon for foreign nationals to enter into marriages with Americans solely for immigration purposes. Relationships developed via correspondence, particularly those begun on the Internet, are especially susceptible to manipulation. Often, the marriages end in divorce in the United States when the foreign national acquires legal permanent residence (“green card”) or U.S. citizenship. In some cases, the new American or permanent resident then remarries a wife he divorced before, around the same time as entering into a relationship with a sponsoring American citizen.

Some of the signs that an Internet contact may be developing a relationship with an American in order to obtain an immigrant visa through marriage are:

- Declarations of love within days or weeks of the initial contact;
– Proposals or discussions of marriage soon after initial contact;
– Requests to the American to visit the foreign national’s home country soon after the declaration of love or proposal;
– Responses to messages from the American friend are along the lines “I love you/Sorry I missed your call,” or similarly one-sided conversations;
– Once engaged, married, or an immigrant visa petition is filed, suddenly starts missing scheduled appointments to chat or call.”

Has he asked you for money since he can’t afford the ticket? Has he started giving you hard luck stories that only cash will solve?.

As a fellow jelly (and US taxpayer) I am worried about your situation.
Please think long and hard about this.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Here is a website devoted to Internet Romance Scams .. These cases are submitted by individuals that got scammed. In every case they believed from the bottom of their hearts that the person on the other end was sincere and good.
Carefully read how they got sucked in. Does it sound familiar?

Go to the page and do a search for the word “Algerian”. (CNTL F, in Windows)

chyna's avatar

I want to point out that on May 16, 2016 you asked a question about a boyfriend you had been dating for 30 months. I asked above if this was the same guy and you said no.
So within 3 short months you are now asking about a guy that lives in another country moving in with you. I think you are displaying irrational behavior or at least irrational decision making skills.

BellaB's avatar

In February 2016, the OP was apparently a 17 year old male.

In April 2016, the OP had two questions about their PE coach.

___

If male, it’s quite understandable that another male would want to leave Algeria as a same-sex relationship there is still more dangerous than in the US, though Missouri doesn’t appear the easiest place to be openly gay as a teen.

___

Again, when will the OP be graduating from college? 2 years? 4 years? have they started college?

chyna's avatar

And in this question from October 2015, OP and boyfriend had a baby together.

Someone has a vivid imagination and tells stories.

Kardamom's avatar

@Nevada83 You are asking for big, big, big trouble. This is a scam. You are most likely being Cat Fished.

So you think you can’t be scammed because you have video chatted with this person? Think again. One of my dear friends got cat fished from a man who she had Skyped with for over a year. She also Skyped with who she thought was this man’s daughter. Turns out the team was scamming women all over the dating websites.

My friend “met” this fellow on Match.com. She talked to him on the site, then talked to him over e-mail, then talked to him on the phone, then started Skyping him. In the meantime, she did all her research to see if he was legitimate. She even looked up the company where he said he worked. After a year of this, she agreed to meet him. Of course he was flying in from a foreign country. She was to meet him at the airport. Guess what, she got to the airport, the flight he was supposed to be in came in, the man was not on it. Shortly afterward she received a text from him saying that he had been detained in customs, but if she could just wire him X amount of dollars, he could get that all cleared up.

It was at that moment that she realized that she had been being cat fished. For over a year. This happened to an intelligent adult woman, who did all the homework and research she could, before she agreed to meet him, because she had been hurt before.

What she found out was that this man was all over the dating sites, with different, but similar names. He picked a name of a real person that worked for a real company, but this guy was not that guy. He had fake pictures of himself with his happy family (he claimed to be a widower) he had fake pictures of himself at work, on vacation, at home etc. They Skyped regularly, he told her how much he cared about her etc. etc. etc.

My friend ultimately reported this guy to Match.com and found out that he had scammed multiple women in the same way, also she did a little research and found out that he was doing this on other dating sites like OK Cupid and a couple of others. You want to know how he was able to fake like he cared about her so easily? Facebook. It has every piece of information that anyone needs to know to find out what you look like, who your family is, what your marital status is, and what things you like to do. So the dude picked out all of these things and used them to pretend like he was so similar and so caring and so interested in all of the same things. It was easy really.

This is what is happening to you. Also, since you have a vivid imagination and think that your teachers might have a crush on you (where we can guess that it’s the other way around) you probably have mixed up ideas about what men want, and how they go about expressing their needs. You also seem like a girl that could be fooled easily. I hope you don’t allow yourself to be fooled by this scam. This particular scam sounds like a typical Green Card Scam

However, now that I see the last two posts, I believe that it is Fluther that is being scammed. Anyone else agree?

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Time for the Fluther police ! ! !

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