Social Question

SQUEEKY2's avatar

In simple terms how does one become more tolerant of people?

Asked by SQUEEKY2 (16356points) December 9th, 2016

Sure I have my close friends and family that I think the world of.
But for the most part people tend to annoy the crap out of me, with their me first at all costs type attitude and to hell with everyone else.
So in simple terms again I ask how does one gain tolerance towards people?
Yeah, yeah I know I annoy people as well but that wasn’t the question now was it?

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101 Answers

Sneki95's avatar

By accepting that:
1. People are asses, or at least some people are. Most of these asses aren’t worth spending energy on.
2. There is no use in getting offended about every single thing ever. Or rather, there is no use in getting offended at all.
3. Your shit does not smell like lavender, but stinks equally as everyone else’s, perhaps even worse.

When you realise you are not as important as you wish you were and get off your high horse, tolerating others becomes much easier.

cinnamonk's avatar

For me, it helps to remind myself that there is no free will, people are the way they are for a reason, and every person you meet is a work in progress.

chyna's avatar

I’m fairly tolerant…until I’m not. I try to think of how I would feel if the old lady driving so slow were my mother and how nervous she would be if someone was on her bumper. Same thing if I was in a store and some old person was in the middle of the aisle and I couldn’t get around them. I do this in other situations, but it doesn’t always work. I’m screaming in my mind “get the fuck off the road!”

canidmajor's avatar

Well, start out by assuming that people are not possessing of a “me first at all costs type attitude and to hell with everyone else” approach. I do not say that to sound snarky, @SQUEEKY2, but to make the points that first, most people (in my experience) are not like that, but the ones who are, are louder and more in your face, and second, thinking that about people projects yourself as defensive and annoyed, which will bring out a like response in others.
I am not always successful at that, but when I make the effort, I am usually pleasantly surprised.

CWOTUS's avatar

What helped me – enormously – in this regard is the realization that I myself am guilty of “the worst offenses” that I see around me routinely.

That is, the loudmouth in the office behind me who offends me nearly daily with his constant inane bray… reminds me that I do the same more often than I care to admit.

The idiots who cut me off in traffic, seemingly without a thought or a care… are the ghosts of my driving past, when I used to do the same (more often than I do now, anyway, and at least when I do it now I try to be aware and at least acknowledge my error, even if I can’t actually make up for it). In addition, the morons who change lanes without signaling, or who block traffic unnecessarily when they could have easily moved to one side or the other to let others pass, well, I’ve done that, too, and no one kilt me for it, for which I’m grateful.

The fool who ruins good jokes by forgetting or mangling punchlines has my sympathy because of my memories of all the times that I’ve done the same thing.

My coworkers with occasional fake smiles and bonhomie… been there done that.

The pompous know-it-all blowhard who just has to have the last word… no, I certainly don’t recognize myself in that asshole… but I can envision myself in the role.

Et cetera.

This is not to say that I’m tolerant of everyone or for just about anything. I reserve particular opprobrium for criminals (or those who are too quick to condemn and want to lynch “criminals” before a jury does), and those guilty of deliberate and repeated rudeness, especially after they’ve been made explicitly aware of it. I reserve the right to be intolerant of some people and for some behaviors. But as a rule I recognize that “there but for the grace of God go I”, and try to live and let live.

tinyfaery's avatar

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

janbb's avatar

“Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle” helps me some.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Fundamental question: why should you be more tolerant?

Answer that first. It will lead you to the solution.

Zaku's avatar

I notice when it does and practice relating to most other people as having little real impact on me. Most of other people’s actions mostly do not really affect me, and mostly when they do it’s because of the way I choose to relate to it and let it have an impact. So I focus on noticing that and adjusting my perspective. Want to drive 3 mph faster than I am? Ok, peace out, go ahead.

I practice relating to people as having a good core humanity inside that I can relate to, which I feel is really who they authentically are inside, even if they are currently or even almost always being driven to behave in annoying ways by their screwed up stuff. So I can relate to them, and to the unconscious misery of being driven to behave badly by that kind of stuff.

Remember that I too get driven by stuff and have behaved very badly sometimes, and have been righteous about it, and have also come across as annoying without realizing it, and so on.

I also think of people I care about who like everyone else sometimes get taken for assholes, and how I’d hope other people wouldn’t just be hostile towards them.

I’ve also reacted with hostility towards people and then realized I’d judged too quickly. Sometimes that driver that cut you off and now is going 7 miles an hour in front of you is someone’s sweet beloved mom who’s just having some momentary circumstance mess things up. Or the maniac driver is trying to get someone in peril to the hospital.

The asshole disease has been going around for eons, and almost no one is immune to it, though it’s rarely a permanent condition, or at least the symptoms come and go.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Nice answer @Zaku .

Lightlyseared's avatar

Alcohol. And remebering that in a 100 years time none of this will matter.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I like that @Lightlyseared except it’s rather expensive, but I do like it.

flutherother's avatar

Inside every selfish boorish and difficult person is someone nice trying to get out.

Mimishu1995's avatar

If you want anyone to be tolerant with you, start by being tolerant with them first.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I try to treat people how I would like to be treated. So I accept them for who they are.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

You don’t necessarily need to tolerate them. If possible, find a way to resolve the issue with them that won’t require you to tolerate them. All in all, adaptation will be always be the key, you may not like them or their behavior but as time passes you’ll get used to the situation (unless they have gone to extreme degree) and live with it (thus you create your own tolerance).

dappled_leaves's avatar

I think it almost entirely comes down to putting yourself in that person’s shoes. That, and remembering that you are not always at your best, and that if someone observed you in a bad moment, they wouldn’t think much of you, either.

It’s about empathy, in both directions.

johnpowell's avatar

Before I could get where people were coming from. I wasn’t mad that you voted for Romney. I can understand it. Things changed on election day.

Fuck all you idiots that voted for Trump. You can fix your own computers from now on.

The dumbfuck father of my sisters first child is shit at computers and I had to clean up his messes and I did it for free.

SHITHEAD wore a Make America great again shirt and hat on Christmas. Goood news you bag of shit. I wasn’t busy the last time you asked me to fix your shit. I said I was busy… But I will never fix your computer or allow you in my house every again.

If you thought Obama was divisive.. You are going to learn what that word really means.

jca's avatar

When I get annoyed at others, I remind myself that I’m not perfect either. I like to think I’m a great driver, hard worker, all these good things but I’m not perfect and nobody is. What I try to do is smile at people and see the good in them (those I come into contact with, face to face, of course). I try to be nice to everyone, from the janitor to the CEO. I find that by being nice to people and going out of my way to interact in a positive way, it may mitigate any negative feelings I had about them.

Lightlyseared's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 can be very expensive depending on how intolerable the people around you are and on your particular tipple of choice.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

Splendid divisive language @johnpowell

But hey, two wrongs make a right.

Mariah's avatar

Stop assuming everyone you see has a me-first attitude, for starters.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I did that for awhile @Mariah but they always had to show they did have that attitude.
I seem to attract that kind of person, weather it’s driving or just out and about, people have to cut ya off in traffic, bump into you at the mall because they can’t get their head out of their phone, or dart in front of you at the check out when you only have a couple of items and they have a cart load.
A good friend of mine was walking down the street awhile back, and was a few feet behind this guy who had his head stuck in his phone and noticed this guy was going to walk into a post ,well the guy did ,my friend laughed like crazy the guy got mad and screamed why didn’t he warn him, my friend shrugged and said it wasn’t up to him to watch where he was going the guy just walked away again with his head buried in his phone.
Myself I probably would have warned him, but that just shows that guy thought he was first and people should watch out for him.

janbb's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 Or is it a case of confirmation bias? I tend to assume the best of people and that the obnoxious ones, like your friend, are the exception to the rule rather than proving my assumption wrong.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I guess that brings up another question was my friend wrong for not warning the idiot that couldn’t look up from his phone?
Or was it that persons responsibility to look where he was walking?
I truly do want to give most people the benefit of the doubt and see if they are human than rather an idiot that thinks the world owes them but most people prove me wrong.
I do get truly surprised when I do truly meet a nice person.

janbb's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 I am sorry for your experiences of the world. And yes, I do think your friend should have warned the fellow with the phone instead of laughing.

cinnamonk's avatar

both of the people in your example are obnoxious.

Phone guy for not looking where he was going and for expecting your friend to take on that responsibility for him.
Your friend for laughing at him when he hurt himself.

jca's avatar

Who laughs when someone walks into a pole? I’d say someone who does is a jerk.

marinelife's avatar

Usually through exposure. We once lived on a fairly remote island. Most of our neighbors were heavy smokers and drinkers. Some were undereducated. They were unfailingly nice and helpful people much like us. It changed my views.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Was it my friends responsibility to watch out for this guy who couldn’t be bothered to look up from his tech toy??

janbb's avatar

“In simple terms how does one become more tolerant of people?”

I guess for some people it’s just not an achievable goal.

chyna's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 No, not his responsibility, but a nice thing to do.

cinnamonk's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 no, of course not. But laughing at him was kind of a dick move, donchya think?

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@janbb I did state that I probably would have warned the guy, but that proves my point that this idiot was a me first at all costs and the world has to look out for me because I can’t get my nose out of my tech gadget.
Another thing that floored me about this story was my friend said the guy continued on with his nose still buried in his damn phone so obviously he learned nothing about walking into the post right?

cinnamonk's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 you’re making a generalization about this person’s entire personality and standard of self-conduct based off of a momentary interaction that you didn’t even experience yourself. Work on being a little less judgmental. You’re not perfect either.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Oh I am far from perfect, but I don’t walk into things playing with tech gadgets either, I let people that have just a few items ahead of me at the check out.
I make a point to not cut people off in traffic, use my signals and so on, that most don’t even know they exist .
I try not to be so judgmental but it gets very exhausting always having to be on guard for people doing very stupid things around you.

Mariah's avatar

Well aren’t you just Mother Theresa…

Consider reading my post over in the pet peeves thread about why judgemental people like you are my least favorite strangers to encounter in public. I literally have a hard time leaving my house for a few days after having an interaction with your kind.

canidmajor's avatar

So why did the guy walk into the pole? Was he distracted because maybe he has a loved one ill and was receiving news on his phone?
Maybe people don’t offer to let you go ahead because you assume they won’t and have a sour expression denoting that.
Maybe everyone else drives badly because you are driving worse and they are avoiding you.
You make the point, constantly, on so many threads, that think everyone else is doing life wrong.
Maybe they’re not. Maybe be concerned with how you present, if you are so unsatisfied.

CWOTUS's avatar

I have a hard time deciding whether it’s “the tech toy” that bothers you so much, that others are occasionally distracted, and that you have to somehow watch out for them, or the actual “me first” events at the supermarket when you thought that you should have been, y’know … first, instead of them.

Maybe it’s just a generalized anger that you’re dealing with, and not the individual triggers. Have you considered the possibility? Maybe thought of talking to a professional about getting actual help with that? Or is that a crutch that you’d prefer to hang onto because it helps you to make sense of the world: “Yep, other folks are always idiots, distracted, self-centered and wrong, so it’s perfectly sensible for me to be angry all of the time.”

SQUEEKY2's avatar

You guys must be right, it’s my fault when the on coming vehicle is a foot and a half into my lane on a bad corner, after all he is just distracted and I should be more tolerant.
Or the on coming vehicle at night refuses to dim their headlights that again I should be more tolerant of keeping them on high makes it easier for them to see who cares if it is blinding me after all it was my fault for being there in the first place.
And the person with a cart load of items at the check out darting in front when I have only three items again maybe he was in a hurry and couldn’t wait the few seconds for me to cash out.
And as for people about to walk into things because they can’t look up from their tech toy I guess that again should be my fault for not being there to make sure they don’t hurt themselves right?

Mariah's avatar

No one’s saying any of those people’s actions are your fault, just that you don’t have to be so goddamn angry about it.

You’re not the only competent person in the world and you have no idea what’s going on in anyone else’s world.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I am angry because those driving situations happen every day, and @canidmajor said maybe I am the one driving poorly and those people are avoiding me, golly I don’t drive in the oncoming lane around corners, and I make sure to dim my headlights for on coming traffic.
What gets me going is people seem to have a billion excuses for being distracted, that doesn’t cut it driving let your guard down for an instant and you can find yourself very dead in todays world of distractions.
I do have to learn to be more tolerant, and give the people a break but if you can’t focus on driving then take the bus, and be as distracted as you want.

janbb's avatar

Maybe you need to think of changing jobs if this one leaves you so angry all the time?

Mariah's avatar

I’m not excusing distracted driving. That is dead wrong and there is no excuse for it. But you seem to hate cell phones and people at all times, not just behind the wheel.

Mariah's avatar

Some food for thought…

Yesterday, Matt made a pretty big mistake while driving. He was not distracted or drunk. He is not stupid, he has 2 engineering degrees. But it was dark, the turn was unfamiliar, the signage was unclear, and he ended up on the left side of a concrete barrier that he should have been on the right of. It was very scary for a moment because we started to get funneled down a highway going the wrong way and the only option, which he took, was to go over the grass median strip back to safety.

I have ridden in the car with Matt for a total of hundreds of hours and this is the first big mistake I’ve seen him make. He’s really a quite good driver but the fact is that driving is one series of judgment calls after another and no mere mortal has a 100% success rate making correct decisions. Even having a 99.9% success rate will eventually get you into a scary, dangerous situation.

Is my boyfriend an idiot? An asshole? The guy in the other lane sure thought so and tried to run us off the road a few minutes later, after the situation was resolved and no one was in danger anymore.

I judge one of the players in this story a lot more harshly than the other.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I hate smart phones to what they have made people ,super distracted and can’t seem to focus on anything other than the damn phone the other day I had to hop in with one of our other drivers he has a smart phone he put it in the cubby hole in the dash and in the course of just about an hour that thing never shut up beeping, chirping , honking and other things at him I give him credit for ignoring it but asked him about the sounds he said some were texts, others were emails, tweets and so on.
Good god I found just the noise it was making distracting and I was just the passenger , I encourage drivers to simply turn them off when driving let the phone collect it all and view it when it is safe to do so.

Mariah's avatar

Most of us use our phones for GPS and cannot just turn then off. You can silence them, though, but the vast majority of us are not bothered or distracted by the sounds anyway. Cell phones are amazing tools that save many lives by giving people the ability to call for help from almost anywhere. If someone cannot ignore their cell phone that is the fault of the person not the device.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I have watched people do that and do give them the benefit of not knowing the area, and it would be scary.
But not the same as not dimming your lights for on coming traffic, or being in the on coming lane around a corner.
The wife and I followed a transport one night through super thick fog, and I realized ,and I was a bit back from him he was totally on the wrong side of the road.
My cell has helped me greatly in times of breakdowns and so on, I have never used a GPS people say they are great but so far haven’t had the need, it didn’t help your friend from accidentally making that wrong turn now did it?

Mariah's avatar

It didn’t tell him which particular lane to be in but it told us we needed to take a turn then. We wouldn’t have known how to get from point A to point B without the GPS. They are hugely helpful tools.

chyna's avatar

The day after my mother had died, I was driving on the interstate to the funeral home to make the funeral arrangements. The interstate was pretty much clear that time of day. I was driving in the far right hand lane doing the speed limit. But I admit, my mind was elsewhere. There was a merge lane and a driver was coming on the interstate. I could’ve moved over, sped up, or slowed down. I didn’t even see him. He could have sped up or slowed down himself. Instead he chose to swerve at me, laying on his horn and his passenger was giving me the finger. No one knows what another person is going through and maybe we should give everyone a little more consideration.

janbb's avatar

I think the prerequisite for becoming more tolerant is realizing that the way you look at things is not the only way to look at things and that you may not even be right.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

You know with all this debate and this and that I think you nailed it @chyna we have to give everyone a little more consideration and tolerance will fall into place.
and we all need to practice it do you all give the average truck driver consideration when he/she does something in front of you that gets your temper up?
And @chyna a while back when we lost my step mom to cancer I was following my Dad back from the hospital and he cut this driver off ,the driver freaked and went ballistic my Dad totally apologized and the guy calmed down a little and went away, myself I told Mrs Squeeky if this idiot doesn’t back off in the next 3 seconds I am simply going to run over him.I am glad it was defused before I had to do that.
In general I simply don’t like people until I get to know them that is why I have to gain tolerance and that is not a judgment I simply don’t like people that is one reason I am a truck driver I love working alone and by myself.
Doesn’t mean I am not considerate or polite when out in public like letting people in front of me at the check out, I hold the door for others but seldom have it returned ,in fact I have only been several steps behind a person and they couldn’t be bothered.
So yes I truly love my friends and family but will try and work at showing consideration for others because I don’t know what is going on in their little distracted world.

chyna's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 I think I am probably more tolerant of truck drivers than a lot of people because I was married to a truck driver. I know to stop further back at a stop sign to let them make a turn, I let them in front of me instead of speeding up so I can get in front of them. However, I have seen my share of crazy truck drivers, crazy bus drivers and crazy car drivers. They exist everywhere and in all walks of life.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

That @chyna is so very true.

jca's avatar

@squeeky2: in the case of your friend seeing the guy texting and walking into a pole, even if he didn’t feel like he wanted to let the guy know that he was heading towards an obstacle, it was really unnecessary and uncalled for to laugh at him for walking into it. I see it as rude and immature behavior to laugh at someone in any situation like that.

CWOTUS's avatar

The first (omitted, and pre-supposed, but not actually evident) response to this question is: You have to want to be more tolerant in the first place.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I see your point @jca and as I stated I probably would have warned the guy, but my friend and I have grown tired of observing people doing stupid things because they can’t get their nose out of their tech toy.
There are huge signs on our highways up here saying do not use hand held devices while driving it’s against the law, do you think those signs would be there if it wasn’t a huge problem?
Municipalities are making bylaws about walking and texting because people are doing what my friend observed or worse walking out into traffic think those bylaws would be needed if it wasn’t an epidemic?
Cell phones have a place and boy was I glad to have mine when I broke down out in the middle of nowhere, even on the time at our golf course ,the cart quit working I just called the club house and they ran another one out to us,SO PLEASE UNDERSTAND I DO NOT HATE CELL PHONES, I hate people that can not use them sensibly ,that I witness almost every fucking day while driving or just out in public.
I ask this should my friend have said Hey fucking moron your about to walk into a post because your to fucking stupid to look where your going?
This isn’t something that I woke up one day and decided not to like, it has been from being impacted by these fucking retards, either waiting behind in an accident that they caused or simply seeing things like my friend saw.
And I am not excluding truck drivers oh no I had to wait in line behind a bad accident because a truck just had to text, and wrecked a brand new truck hurt himself pretty bad while doing so.
I even understand texting has a place hell I like it when I call the dispatcher and get the answering machine I just say who I am and text me a load number for my paper work.
But as @canidmajor said my problem is probably my driving people have to avoid me because they are on their phones again all my fault because I lack tolerance for them.
They could have gotten bad news and I should have consideration for that .

CWOTUS's avatar

There’s a subtle but crucial difference in what you say versus what most other people are saying in this thread, @SQUEEKY2. You illustrated it perfectly in the comment just moments ago when you said “I hate people that can not use [cell phones] sensibly.”

Most of us, most of the time don’t “hate people” who do things that we don’t like. Even when we argue with others – and with you – about ideas, behaviors, attitudes, beliefs and policies that we detest, we try to differentiate between “all of those things” and “the people”. It’s vital to do that.

You can’t be tolerant of people who do things that you don’t like if you equate the people with the things that they’re doing which you don’t like. We all want to be intolerant of things that don’t fit in our civilized, technological, industrial society. That is, we have to be intolerant of uncivilized behavior, misuse of technology and failure to follow “rules of the road” (literally, in your case) that help us all to get along. But if you fail to make the distinction between “people acting badly” and “the bad acts”, then you’re going to continue to be angry and intolerant of “people in general”.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

WOW! I hate to say it but you are totally right!
So how do I make that distinction, and gain tolerance for people in general?
Do I ignore the next time I have to wait for hours behind a bad accident because a person was acting badly?
Or be polite and stop the next person from walking off the curb because they couldn’t be bothered to look where they were going?

janbb's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 Yes. One really can train oneself to be less judgmental.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

So @janbb next time I have to wait for hours behind a bad accident that someone caused because they just had to text and drive, I should be less judgmental?
How do I do that?

janbb's avatar

How do you know that they were texting? Isn’t their day much worse than yours?

Look, I don’t get the sense that you really want to change or maybe can. So don’t ask the question and don’t be surprised when people find you angry and judgmental. Or if it is the driving that makes you so angry, look to change your job.

My life got so much better when my marriage to a critical person who judged everyone else ended.

Mariah's avatar

Try assuming the best instead of always assuming the worst.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

WE usually find out about the texting from talking to the cops at the accident scene , and drivers say what caused it comes over the VHF radios in our trucks.

@Mariah how does one assume the best when your day is going to be hours and hours longer because of waiting behind a bad accident, that was easily preventable if the person had just left the phone alone?
I guess be glad this person didn’t include me in their thoughtless accident?

Mariah's avatar

Again, how do you KNOW the accident you’re behind was caused by texting? You don’t. That is you assuming the worst. That is what I am suggesting you stop doing.

Edit sorry I just saw your first bit addressed to Jan, never mind

Look I’m not saying you have to stop being against texting and driving because I already said above that that behavior is actually heinous, I’m not defending that. Its the littler things you’ve complained about in this thread like people not being awesome at driving all the time due to reasons that might not be their fault, or people texting while not behind the wheel. The guy who walked into the pole only hurt himself and you have no idea why his phone was so absorbing that day, he could have been reading news about his hospitalized girlfriend, you just don’t know so stop assuming everyone is just awful and give the benefit of the doubt. It’ll help you and it’ll help them.

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: We all get that you hate cell phones, hate the negative impact that cell phones have on driving, walking, behavior, etc. You still don’t seem to understand what I am talking about when I say that in the example of your friend laughing at the man who walked into the pole because he was busy texting, it’s ok to feel the man was foolish for not looking where he was going, and the jury may still be out on whether or not your friend should tell the guy he was about to walk into a pole. Laughing at the guy, however is behavior of an asshole.

You respond to that with many examples of bad behavior from cell phone use, and ask if you should like this and like that. You don’t acknowledge whether or not you think laughing at people in the example above is good behavior.

If my daughter wants to walk on ice and I caution her not to because she might fall, and she chooses to take the icy walk and she falls, would I laugh at her?

canidmajor's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: It really didn’t occur to me that you would so wildly miss my point by taking my example so literally.
To clarify, my point was that you keep stating that everybody else (see, for example, your details on the shopping line Q, how you never get offered a jump ahead) does stuff wrong.
My mistake for assuming you could get my point.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@jca I said in a few posts above that I probably would have warned the fellow,what more do you want from me?

You want me to condemn my friend for laughing at the fellow?
You want me to show consideration for the fellow for walking into the pole while texting,regardless of the situation his girl friend sick ,his mother dying , whatever he has a responsibility to watch where he is walking, I get it your pissed at my friend for laughing and instantly start making excuses for the texter the poor chap could be getting bad news, fair enough then stop and read it don’t just blindly charge ahead he could have walked into traffic and have no doubt then my friend would have stopped him then.
What more do you want?

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: I didn’t make any excuses for the person texting. I’m not asking for you to show any consideration for the texter or necessarily saying he should be warned- as I said “the jury is still out.”

I am asking if you feel your friend’s behavior is acceptable. Yes, condemn him if you feel it should be condemned. Acknowledge his behavior is not justified if you feel it’s not.

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: I should add that if you feel laughing at people for walking into poles may be acceptable behavior, then please say so.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Personally I couldn’t watch someone walk into something, and would warn them but then snark at them,saying if they got their fucking nose out of their damn phone they wouldn’t need other people to watch out for them.
While I wouldn’t laugh at someone hurting themselves I won’t condemn my friend for doing it.
DID you all miss the point my friend said this guy continued on with his nose still buried in his phone, so obviously he learned nothing from the mishap now did he?
That good enough for you?

SQUEEKY2's avatar

@canidmajor I miss most of your points because you say them like a pissed off mother.
You get really mad at me sometimes when I answer some of your questions, if you get pissed at my questions I suggest skipping them.
Yeah I get mad when not shown the same courtesy I show others, I have to work on that.
I will utterly condemn driving and using a cell phone , and the same goes for walking and texting.
If that misses your point sorry.

canidmajor's avatar

You keep seeming to miss the point of so many of the posts here, which is why I (and some others) get impatient and annoyed.
Personally, I don’t give a fuck if your attitude sucks, you are thousands of miles away from me, in another country, but a number of people here that I assume you like OK gave you the same response that I did, which is to basically stop assuming the worst of people.
How? Practice. Make a conscious effort, the next time you are at someone and you don’t know why they behaved that way assume they have things going on about which you know nothing.
You are more concerned with convincing us you are right than learning how to shift your reactions.
The question itself might indicate that’s what you want to do, your responses belly that.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

So assume people are great, and get disappointed when they show they are not?
Or expect the worst and get pleasantly surprised when I find out they are nice?
Hmmmn??!

canidmajor's avatar

“Belie”. Damn you autocorrect.

canidmajor's avatar

You give the impression that you are never pleasantly surprised.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Well very rarely when it comes to people,once in a while it does happen though.
Believe it or not.

canidmajor's avatar

So do you want to become more tolerant, as you asked? Doesn’t sound like it.
You seem to enjoy your outrage, go for it.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

See you are assuming the worst in me, just think of me as a work in progress this time of year is extra stressful at work with the roads being in awful conditions and people not having a clue as how to drive on them, oops sorry did it again, people having a hard time navigating the highways with little regard to those of us that have to make our living on them.
Sorry there I go again assuming the worst.
I may just be a lost cause.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

You understand that ^^^^ “work in progress” MUST progress; not have in negative thoughts, assumptions and therefore stay stagnant.

CWOTUS's avatar

It has been obvious for some time that the question was asked in bad faith, that there is no actual intent or desire “to become more tolerant”, and that the OP simply wishes to engage others so that he can continue to attempt (vainly) to justify his anger and self-righteous dudgeon against the modern world in general and in particular people who don’t conform to his way of acting.

In other words, we’re being trolled.

So I’m out of here.

cinnamonk's avatar

@CWOTUS thanks for teaching me a new word today!

Mimishu1995's avatar

So what kind of people can you tolerate @SQUEEKY2?

P.S: this thread has further confirmed my earlier response.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I get along with fellow truckers who know how bad it is on the roads these days with private road contractors and people that can’t seem to leave the phone alone for just a few minutes.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

@SQUEEKY2 GO to another WEBSITE like alt-right and complain about Trump’s Hair-Do.

D O N E ! !

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: Your questions and your responses seem to be a platform for your constant ranting about how much you dislike people’s use of cell phones and other drivers’ inability to drive. People answered your question and yet you still rant on with the same complaints over and over again.

jca's avatar

My point was, @SQUEEKY2 is that we get it by now.

Mariah's avatar

So you only like other people who are just like you. Got it.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

No your assuming , I get along the best with people that are somewhat like me,understand how hard it is to make a living driving truck, can’t understand why people can’t leave the phone alone type thing.
My most exposer to people is from the road and the things I see, being passed on blind corners,people traveling in our blind spot for miles, and miles, oncoming traffic refusing to dim their lights, countless close calls where people have to be in front of us at all costs.
People passing us doing an unsafe illegal pass just to get in front then proceed to drive 10kph slower than we were traveling.
And people paying very little attention to their driving because they can’t put the phone down, other drivers have experienced it,lived it and understand it.
I do try and give people the benefit of the doubt but most times they disappoint me by proving they have to be first at all costs.

canidmajor's avatar

I stopped counting at five posts in this thread alone where you talk about cell phones and drivers. I think most of us got the gist at three posts. We get it, @SQUEEKY2.
Maybe try to think about something else (other than how much you also hate that people have kids.)
You get annoyed that people don’t show you “the same courtesy I show others”, which indicates to me that you only do it to get a reward. I extend the courtesies to people because I was raised to be courteous. It’s nice when people are courteous to me, but it’s not necessary unless they think to do it.
Nobody owes you shit. Find a different line of work. Shrug it off when people have children. Be nice to people because it’s the good thing to do, not because you expect them to pay you.
Or, hey, here’s a thought, head up a PR push to educate people about the dangers of phones and driving, in such a way that you don’t come across as a sanctimonious ass.
Make a positive impact with your concerns instead of this continuous whine.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Your right, it’s this time of year the job gets extra stressful with the roads going to shit.
I am courteous to others because your right it’s the way I want to be treated, if that is what you call a reward than I guess I am fucking guilty.
As for being a jerk about people with kids, people have made us defend why we chose not to for years, I like making them defend why they chose to have them, I don’t have anything personal against kids, I do fail and see why people choose to have more than two in this day and age but that is my problem.
You are again right about the damn cell it is time for me to shut up about them, I guess sit back and watch the dead pile up from the misuse of them and hope that doesn’t include Mrs Squeeky or myself in the process.
So have at it text and GPS to your hearts content,just make sure you take out another texter when your to distracted from it to drive properly.
I have learned one thing I don’t think I can learn tolerance towards people I truly dislike people until I get to know them first again my problem.
THANK YOU all that did answer this question have a great Merry Christmas, and I will now stop bitching about the misuse of cell phones and you can stop defending them.TEXT AWAY GOOD PEOPLE ,don’t worry about the traffic they will look out for you.

canidmajor's avatar

How self righteous you are! NO ONE here defends the use of cells while driving. NO ONE here has criticized you for not having children.
You ask questions, and post here simply to rant. Own your shit, as most of us learn to do in our teens.
Yes, it makes you a fucking jerk to expect others to do what you want all the time.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Did I say here?
I did say several things were my problem,you are assuming again.
I don’t expect people to do what I want, I get disappointed when they don’t show the same courtesy again my problem.
We have been criticized for years about our choice as to not having children, did I say here??
And in my own little defence I like making people defend their choice as to why they have them, again I said that was my problem.
But your screaming does show me why I dislike people until I get to know them.
And I am not the only fucking jerk here .

canidmajor's avatar

You actually have accused us here in a number of threads of not opposing dander our behavior. You have also asked us to defend our child having choices, when no one attacked you, then tried to claim that no one who has kids gets persecuted for their choices.
Again own your shit.

I’m done, you obviously can’t see past your own dudgeon.

@CWOTUS was right. No question, just a tired old rant.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I am sorry and in a really bad mood as of late, don’t let the door hit ya on the way out.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

@SQUEEKY2
WE understand you hate the modern world and all the people that inhabit it. You also hope the rest of the world is all texters and kill everyone but you.

You don’t have to rant this must to show, you don’t any friends.

Get a pet! They wont text and drive ! !

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I hate parts of the modern world that I can’t opt out of and are shoved down my throat.
We do have a great pet and believe it or not have a few friends,Mrs Squeeky hates people worse than I do, and can’t stand texters guess that is why we are so good for one another.

And we both can’t stand early technology, we both prefer it tested tried and proven before we have it,hence we were very late coming on to the computer scene and even tablets.
You have no idea the things I have witnessed from 28years of being behind the wheel of a transport truck and if you have you might understand where I am coming from.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

I have driven over 850,000 miles, I have seen horrific accidents and aftermath.
The worse was when we come up on and accident where a trooper had past me two miles down the road. The accident was a 1975 Honda Civic which had apparently backed up up at over 40 miles per hour into an eighteen wheeler . The scene I remember is was; first my wife commenting on the pair of shoes on the road behind the truck and second when I slowed down to 5 or 7 miles per hour as I went by, the trooper was standing on the shoulder looking through the side window there was an inch between the windshield mounted rear view mirror and the KW’s front bumper.

I think his feet were still in the shoes.

It was apparently a suicide. I still feel pity for the poor driver of the KW.

jca's avatar

@SQUEEKY2: We get it we get it we get it. We hear you loud and clear.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I did learn from this question I asked how do you gain tolerance and I learned I don’t want to,I learned I really dislike people until I get to know them,I can live with that.
Thanks to you that answered this question, and sorry for ranting.

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