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elbanditoroso's avatar

Suppose you were talking with an acquaintance - not yet a friend - about stuff, and his/her participation in Fluther came up. Assume for a moment that he/she didn't know that you were also a Flutherite. Several questions:?

Asked by elbanditoroso (26557points) 2 weeks ago

Would you tell / admit to that person that you are also on Fluther?

Would you tell that person you Fluther name?

Would you go look up that person’s history and answers to see if you agreed with him or her? Would you expect that person to examine your history?

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9 Answers

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

After my initial shock, I would want to try to guess their user name. After some guesses, I would ask for it.

Yes, I would check them out. I would look at their history and think about our interaction.

My user name hides little, so I would expect them to figure it out once I told them I was on the site.

I am highly unlikely to ever meet a random person who has heard of this site. There are only about 50 active users. We are miniscule.

jca2's avatar

It’s for this reason that I haven’t told many people about Fluther over the years. I wouldn’t want them to figure out who I am or learn about my deepest, darkest secrets, which I sometimes write about. I say that half in jest, because I don’t have too many deep, dark secrets, but still, I mean that I like my anonymity here. I have a bunch of Jelly friends on FB, but we started out as Jelly friends, not as real life friends.

raum's avatar

I probably wouldn’t tell them.

Back in the day, I made the mistake of telling someone that we were actually friends online. Made it super awkward in real life.

I think planning to meet someone you know from a site is different than randomly bumping into them in real life.

It’s like a collision of two worlds and can be a bit unsettling. Felt like inadvertent stalkery.

Though I guess meeting them in person and not pointing it out could actually be more awkward in the long run.

Lose lose.

Kardamom's avatar

I would never admit, or even hint, and I would probably not get much closer to the person, because they would be able to figure out it was me pretty quickly by the stuff I do in real life.

I would definitely look up that person’s profile, and then steer clear, or keep very neutral on their questions.

Anonymity is what makes this site work. I can be myself, without being shunned, ridiculed, or questioned, like I would be in real life. Some of the stuff that we discuss here is very touchy material.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’d probably tell them, if I liked them.

Maybe make them guess who I was instead of just telling them.

To me the anonymity is only as good as your posts, its not that difficult to connect the dots if you know someone well in RL.

When Dutchess and I met, it wasnt a big deal or uncomfortable. In my mind, we’re all a big dysfunctional family. I dont see the need to hide who or what we really are from eachother.

jca2's avatar

The few people I’ve told about Fluther over the past 12 years, I think one joined for about a week and then dropped out, and the other few have taken a look at it but it wasn’t for them. I would explain to people that the Fluther you see when you create a profile and log in is different than the Fluther you see as a non-user, but still, for whatever reason, nobody has told me they were interested and I don’t believe any are here based on what I see.

There’s a group on FB which is for women talking about any and all issues, and supporting each other. There’s a recent post about whether or not any have told other people about the group and most have said no, it’s their secret, sacred space. I did tell one of my neighbors about that group, and I know she joined it and immediately I was sorry because I became self conscious about what I posted or “liked.” I think the only saving grace is that she might not follow it, because the group seems to be largely liberal in its leanings (even though political discussions are not allowed) whereas my neighbor is a Republican. A cool Republican who cares about the Earth and women’s issues, but a Republican still LOL.

chyna's avatar

So did this really happen? If so, how did it work out?

JLeslie's avatar

Depends. If it was a jelly who I pretty much trust to keep it a secret I might tell. Some jellies know me on Facebook, so they would likely recognize me if they met me in real life.

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