General Question

honeybun35's avatar

How could you tell when a man want to be exclusive?

Asked by honeybun35 (273points) 4 weeks ago

Although my male friend looked through my phone and posted the name of a friend of mine on Facebook he still is busy to talk to me.
I texted him yesterday to see how he was doing. He said okay but busy. I just left it like that.He acts like he is jealous but some people say it is for the attention,

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26 Answers

KNOWITALL's avatar

Well not talking to you is not a good sign.

Next time you talk, keep your hands to yourself and say you want to talk first, just a minute. Then you tell him your feelings, he tells you his, and you make an agreement.

Patty_Melt's avatar

It sounds like he is weighing his options . He seems to be trying to make a decision.

kritiper's avatar

He is jealous of other men. Any little thing you say about another man, he will question your involvement. He wants to be with you, just you, with no other people around. Stuff like that. Remember: “The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys.” And that is that! If you can understand a six year old boy, you should be able to figure out a grown man.

Darth_Algar's avatar

Have you tried maybe talking to him and asking how he feels about these things? No one here can answer these things for him. At best we can only make wild stabs in the dark.

kritiper's avatar

Or did you mean apart from you kind of exclusive? Again, it shouldn’t be hard to figure out…

Brian1946's avatar

When you squeeze milk from your breasts onto his cereal, and he drinks it straight from the bowl? ;-p

honeybun35's avatar

Is that bad if he is weighing his options?

elbanditoroso's avatar

I think he is sick and tired of you posting stuff about him on Fluther and is planning to break up with you ASAP.

honeybun35's avatar

I don’t think so. That’s not nearly as bad as going through my phone and making a statement about one of my friend’s on Facebook. No way.

zenvelo's avatar

Well, it is not at all evident he wants to be exclusive; he wants you to be exclusive.

Sounds like he has a pretty good deal- all the sex he wants without any of the commitment or responsibility.

honeybun35's avatar

Oh so you mean to tell me he think that I would be the only one for him but not the other way around? He is crazy.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Stay clear of a possessive person.
Its a sign of control over another.
Checking your phone?
Something is wrong when one is doing all the work to maintain this relationship.
This is not normal nor signs of a healthy long term relationship that may end up in marriage etc
In fact its the opposite.
Ask yourself ‘why” you think that this is alright?
You teach others how you want to be treated.
Start valuing yourself as a person who deserves better than what he is offering.
He treats you as a possession not a valuable being who is worthy of love, respect,and honest communication that leads to a healthy relationship for years.

Inspired_2write's avatar

View this for understanding why the possessive person acts and expects and in your case gets.
You are worthy of much better and realize that you have to break this off or forever inundate Fluther questioning him for life?

honeybun35's avatar

I didn’t know he was going on my phone. It is the first time that it had happened. I went into a fast food to use the restroom and he did it as my phone was in his car charging. I thought nothing of it until he made a post and mentioned a guys name from my phone.

Cupcake's avatar

You can tell when he tells you he wants to be in an exclusive romantic relationship with you and not be in a relationship or have sex with anyone else.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Let me get this right you’ve been FWB for twenty years?
You’re stay nights with “Bob” ?


You want to be exclusive FWB!

Inspired_2write's avatar


Get a password for your phone and next time turn it off around him.

He has shown his possessiveness and untrustworthy.

He cannot be trusted .

Leave first before he leaves you and undermines your dignity once more by telling everyone that it was Him who left and not the other way around.

I cannot see this relationship ending well.

Perhaps while he is gone awhile then move and do not give your new address.

Time for you to take control of your own life.

rebbel's avatar

Or better: ditch the person that appears not to trust you (checking your phone…., wtf).
What kind of relationship is that.

Inspired_2write's avatar


Seems like classic co-dependent relationship kept in control by an abuser.
Controlling is an abuser first line of defense.
I wish that she could imagine the opposite ..a loving respectful caring thoughtful protective of her spouse and then think about “why” she accepts this abusive man in her life treating her so badly?
She might feel that is all that she can get?
Or That that is what she deserves?

No way honey bun…how much more will you stand before…


jca2's avatar

I think this is proof that he really, really likes you.

Weren’t you going to tell him you are in love with him?

Whatever happened with that? It’s been weeks now since you mentioned it to us.

honeybun35's avatar

What is your point?

jca2's avatar

My point is, have you told him you love him like you said you were going to, @honeybun35?

elbanditoroso's avatar

@jca2 he doesn’t exist.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

If you are rich he will want to be exclusive!

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

A man will be direct about it.

honeybun35's avatar

Thank you all. interesting responses most are true.

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