Social Question

Hoopi's avatar

Should I let my best friend know about the nature of his new girlfriend? Should I tell him or leave it to karma (Fake names are used!)

Asked by Hoopi (4points) July 2nd, 2020

In short, Jake and his girlfriend (Helen) already knew each other ages ago since they had a “I don’t know what we are” type of thing.

After they stopped it, he started to and still does really like another girl (Maria) but they can’t date because of situations.

Some time ago, I met Helen not knowing that her and Jake had history.

A few days ago, Jake and I went to Sam’s house and his girlfriend and Helen were there.

Within a few hours Helen and Jake were acting coupley but i didn’t find it too weird because Jake is often flirty and he has a lot of female friends so I didn’t really think much

After, Jake told me about Helen and Maria and that he wants to date Helen but still likes Maria. I gave him advice and he made Helen his girlfriend and let go of Maria

Recently I went to Sam’s house to see his mom since we’re close. She said she doesn’t trust Helen around guys because she’s too flirty and always seeking any male attention. I’ve noticed too

She said that ever since she started being around guys all the time, she’s been dressing too revealing but was dressing normal before. She’s been dressing like this around Sam and hugging him like his girlfriend would

3 days ago, LITERALLY 2 DAYS after Jake and Helen became a thing, a bunch of older guys (19–24) were at Sam’s house and one of them tagged along with us (Sam, his mom, Helena and I). All day, Helen (basically in a bra) never spoke to him, was just looking at him every so often and he was just minding his own business. During the ride home, suddenly she wanted to go back to Sam’s house to obviously see the boys even when his mom said she’d drive her home. The guy and Helen were next to each other in the car and she was practically sitting on him every time the car turned. And I barely moved smh

Jake really likes her and I don’t want him to get hurt or feel like I contributed when it could’ve been avoided. I feel bad because I kinda helped him decide to date her and now she’s doing this

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7 Answers

cheebdragon's avatar

Telling him that you think his new girlfriend might be a slut, will probably damage your friendship. You need to let Jake make his own mistakes.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Yeah, trust me, friends can turn on you when you tell them things like that. Then there’s drama when she finds out you snitched. Just leave it alone.

stanleybmanly's avatar

We are in no position to judge the dynamics of your buddy or his girlfriend. Whether he is a chump or she a tramp are matters of what they deem acceptable in one another. If her behavior is as brazen as you have observed, the “secret” cannot possibly be concealed for any meaningful length of time. Just be prepared to answer him honestly when he questions you on this. Put yourself in your friend’s place. Would you rather remain ignorant of the facts?

elbanditoroso's avatar

Jake is a big boy. He has eyes and a brain. Let him learn for himself.

But @Hoopi you’re leaving out a lot. What about Roxanne (Helen’s stepsister) and her boyfriend Tim? Roxanne is as bad a flirt – if not worse – than Helen. Shouldn’t Tim be part of your question as well?

And then there is Ella. She doesn’t admit, but she is dating some way older guy and doesn’t want anyone to know. That’s a problem too.

Honestly, Helen and Jake are nothing compare to the other friends.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I would not get in the middle of that. Let him figure it out on his own.

Inspired_2write's avatar

”..Should I…”?

You are not responsible for what the others choose to do or not do.

You gave your opinion . advice, but He chose .

How does that affect you?

Its there life to learn and experience, painful or not.

Concentrate on your choices and ask why in the world are you in this group?

Sounds like a Soap Opera.

Find something else that is more rewarding than getting involved in everybody elses problems .

gorillapaws's avatar

Stay out of other people’s drama. If your friend directly asks you about something it’s fine to be a friend and give an honest answer, but try to keep it short and not get sucked into a conversation on the topic. Do not actively attempt to initiate a conversation on the topic. That’s a sound lifelong strategy and your friendships will be stronger for it.

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