General Question

Jeruba's avatar

Need help right now. Can someone please help me check on home hospice care agency?

Asked by Jeruba (51167points) 3 weeks ago

Someone who can look up these services and see if they have ratings, reviews, etc. Please, right now.

Auxilo Home Aide
Ph: 408–489-9674

1+1 Senior Care
Ph: 408–298-0663

All Seasons Home Care
Ph:408–710-7030

Home Helpers
Ph: 408–621-1160

24Hour Homecare
Ph: 408–550-8295

Homecare Assistance
ph: 408–750-0160

Don’t need you to call them—phone no. is just for ID. See if you can find any online customer re views.

IF YOU CAN HELP, PLEASE TELL ME YES BELOW, WHICH ONE YOU ARE LOOKING UP, SO SOMEONE ELSE CAN CHECK ANOTHER ONE.

Thank you x1000.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

83 Answers

JLeslie's avatar

Yes. I’ll take the last one Home Care Assistance.

Jeruba's avatar

Thank you so much. Please post your findings here, easiest for me to get at.

JLeslie's avatar

Website with many reviews of several services. Is this page the correct location for the Home Care Assistance you listed?

https://www.caring.com/senior-care/california/los-gatos/home-care-assistance-los-gatos-san-jose-95032

Phone number isn’t matching.

janbb's avatar

I’ll look for Home Helpers.

raum's avatar

Oops…PMd you two of them.

janbb's avatar

Home Helpers

https://bestofhomecare.com/BestOfHomeCare/Listing.aspx?City=san-jose&Name=home-helpers-of-santa-clara-valley&State=california&ListingId=2974

Summary: 4.9 stars out 5 based on 3 recent reviews. Responsive to client’s needs and quick to get up and running.

janbb's avatar

@raum Post the names of the ones you did.

janbb's avatar

Auxilio:

Listing but no review on yelp. Other recommendations listed:

https://www.yelp.com/biz/aha-auxilio-homeaide-san-jose

raum's avatar

Home Helpers
Homecare Assistance

janbb's avatar

So we just need someone to do All Seasons and 1+1.

JLeslie's avatar

I found this for All Seasons. Only 3 reviews, but one review is long with details. https://www.caring.com/senior-care/california/pleasanton/all-seasons-homecare-94566#reviews

janbb's avatar

I just looked for All Seasons too and found testimonials on their web site:

http://www.allseasons-homecare.com/testimonials.php

No rating.

JLeslie's avatar

My cousin is texting a close friend in the area who is a Physician’s Assistant to see if she has any feedback. My cousin lives near-ish to you.

janbb's avatar

Here’s a web site which lists individual care providers and their rates, although you probably want an agency:

https://www.care.com/senior-care/san-jose-ca

kritiper's avatar

It might also help to contact your state Dept. of Health and Welfare.

Jeruba's avatar

So many thanks. Having to move fast. If you can see any that looks best to you, please put in boldface. I am too stressed and scatterbrained right now to do research. I have already made the decision that he’d rather have 1 week at home than 2 months in hospital. Need to make it as comfortable as I possibly can.

My sons today are rising to the occasion, TG.

JLeslie's avatar

@janbb @raum @kritiper Will you look at my first link? That had a lot of reviews which might be a good sign. I think it was around 60 reviews. I realize some might be friends and family reviewing.

Your link had a very high rating.

Jeruba's avatar

Just arranged with Home Helpers – Best of Home Care (Jan’s link) for tomorrow but will keep checking. For now I just have to do something quick.

I do thank you all so much. You are a better team for me right now than local friends and distant relatives.

—> Anybody I can cross off, that will help too.

JLeslie's avatar

Good that you made a decision. Luckily, you are home with him so it’s not like you have to worry someone is visiting and you have no idea what’s happening. That makes the decision less crucial. You can change right away if you need to.

janbb's avatar

Home Helpers sounded good and as I’m sure you know, the most important thing will be the skill and personality of the people they send which can always vary. Looking at @JLeslie‘s link, they certainly get good testimonials. I had wonderful helpers from an agency in SF when I was there with my broken ankle and it can make such a difference!.

A question; is this in addition to any hospice services you may get as well? Or will that be part of this?

I am so, so happy that you will have help and will have him at home since that is what you want. And also glad that your sons are helping now.

Since you asked, I wouldn’t bother with Auxilios since I didn’t see any reviews of them.

You’re doing a great job in a terrible time @Jeruba. Much love your way.

chyna's avatar

I just wanted to add that my best friend is a hospice nurse. They are all highly trained and have the utmost respect and kindness for their patients and the families.
Hugs and love.

Jeruba's avatar

In hospital now. They admitted him to onsite hospice program for palliative care right here, and I’m able to be present. My sons were here and will be back later. It’s a very dark night for us all.

Jeruba's avatar

We thought we could bring him home, but we can’t.

anniereborn's avatar

@Jeruba Why in the world can you not bring him home? What is going on. Please tell us what we can do.

JLeslie's avatar

Thank goodness you can be with him.

Jeruba's avatar

Hospice cant provide aggressive O2 that he is getting now. Thats not hospice, its treatment. Take him off it and he wont survive the ride home. I’m just holding his hand & talking to him as he goes through a terrible struggle.

anniereborn's avatar

I am so glad you are able to be there. What a scary and heart breaking situation. I hope your children are back there with you now.

JLeslie's avatar

Can you stay as long as you want?

I was going to say earlier that in Florida they allow some visitation in hospitals, but didn’t want to possibly upset you more. I’m so glad you can be there with him.

Jeruba's avatar

They would have to call security and remove me by force.

janbb's avatar

Sometimes we can’t choose the ending but I am so glad that you can be there. And your sons.

Much love through the darkness.

jca2's avatar

Just reading this now. Sending supportive hugs, @Jeruba.

longgone's avatar

I was asleep when this was asked. @Jeruba, I’m sure your husband is extremely relieved you’re with him. I am so, so sorry. We’re all here for you in this scary time, as much as we can be. Hugs.

It’s such a sad occasion, but the support in this thread is a lovely example of Fluther at its best.

dxs's avatar

I’d seen your previous question the other day and had been wondering how things were going. So sorry to hear about this, @Jeruba.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Jeruba Please know you have my sympathies. I’m so glad to know you can be with him. For what it’s worth, I’m praying for comfort for you all.

Jeruba's avatar

He’s still breathing. I’ve been here all night. Uncertain what next. Thanks for staying with me.

janbb's avatar

‘the long lonely watches of the night”

Try to doze if you can.

Keep letting us know as you wish to.

It is a blessing you can be there.

chyna's avatar

When this happened with my mom, my brothers and I took 12 hour shifts. Me and 1 brother took 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. The two other brothers took the 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. shift so no one was left alone at any time.
If you feel up to leaving to get some rest, you might try to work out a similar schedule.

JLeslie's avatar

I’m with you, they would have to drag me out if my husband just had a short time left. Especially since you were unable to be with him initially. We are all there with you in thought. It’s a jelly vigil.

Jeruba's avatar

Everything is weird because of covid. And my headstrong sons tried to do some things out of line. They nearly got us all banned.

JLeslie's avatar

I would think with covid it’s safer if they let you stay in the hospital bubble rather than leave and come back.

Sorry to hear your sons are adding to any of the already existing stress. It’s hard on everyone I’m sure.

janbb's avatar

@Jeruba The hospice people should be able to help guide you through the process and what’s going on with him.

Be gentle with yourself.

Jeruba's avatar

Things are not going as they should with the hospital. and my response is to try to identify the problems and negotiate. My sons want to do battle.

In hospice care, shouldn’t they still give him some kind of nourishment and water? How is that comfort?

JLeslie's avatar

Is he asking to eat? Withholding nutrition and fluids will hasten his death, some people want that. They could give him an IV for fluids if he’s unable to drink. Ask the medical professionals why and what they are doing if you have questions. They might be making assumptions you don’t agree with. There is wiggle room on how the care is done. How much pain medication also will affect how quickly things go. You and your husband can have some control over it.

janbb's avatar

@Jeruba It is my understanding that it helps in the dying process to withhold them. Get someone to talk you through it,

raum's avatar

Here with you, Jeruba.

Kardamom's avatar

We are here with you all the way <3

chyna's avatar

Hospitals have these popsicle sticks with a little sponge on the end. They let me put moisture on my moms lips with one. Perhaps you can find something like that, too.

JLeslie's avatar

@chyna is right that there are balms for lips and sprays and other ways to make him more comfortable.

smudges's avatar

Peace and serenity to you all.

Strauss's avatar

Oh, my dear @Jeruba!

Hope you can stay with him and keep him comfortable. You have my thoughts and prayers!

KNOWITALL's avatar

The 02 is why my grandfather had to stay in hospital, too, against his wishes.

Peace and gentle thoughts to you and your family.

kritiper's avatar

@JLeslie I don’t do links.

JLeslie's avatar

@kritiper She doesn’t need help with home care anymore. Her husband was moved to palliative care in the hospital and she’s there with him. Details are in the thread.

cookieman's avatar

Just reading this @Jeruba.

I am so sorry and can only offer sympathies and virtual ((HUGS)). Best to you and your family in this very difficult time.

si3tech's avatar

@Jeruba May my strengths be your strengths. You are not alone.

Jeruba's avatar

He’s gone. He never made it home. And it was not an easy passing. It was terrible.

In some way that was my fault. Honestly, it was, because I tried to follow the letter of his wishes, and that was the wrong thing in these times. It’s going to haunt me all the rest of my life.

I’m so grateful for all the kind words of caring and support.

chyna's avatar

I’m so very, very sorry.

janbb's avatar

@Jeruba Oh dear one, don’t beat yourself up. Dying is sometimes easier and sometimes just horrible. Well all can attest to how hard you were working for him.

Get some rest and eat what comforting things you can.

And come to us for comfort.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@Jeruba I am so deeply sorry for your loss. You have my most heartfelt condolences.

You don’t have to think about it today, but the hospice services usually have free grief counseling. I strongly recommend it.

Please, be gentle with yourself. You are a dear person, and you deserve comfort amidst your great grief.

raum's avatar

Oh I’m so sorry, Jeruba.
Please be kind to yourself.
What you did, you did because you loved him. And as hard as it was in the end, he was loved and surrounded by love.

Sending gentle thoughts.

Strauss's avatar

@Jeruba I am truly sorry for your loss!

Your loved one’s suffering is over. Don’t second guess your decisions. They were made from the heart. I hope you have folks to comfort you in this difficult situation.

anniereborn's avatar

@Jeruba You were there, he heard your voice, he felt your touch, 42 years warmed his heart. As horrible as it had to have been, try to take a small comfort in that. And yes, you fought for him, so very very hard. I wish for you peace in your grief.

Kardamom's avatar

Dear Jeruba, I am so sorry for your loss. Hopefully with time, you will be able to give comfort to your own self, as we would do for you. There is no fault, you did what you could, and what you had to, and honored your husband’s wishes, in the most difficult of circumstances. That’s all anyone could ever be expected to do. We are all here for you, friend. Put us to work, and lean on us <3 :,(

JLeslie's avatar

My deepest condolences. He knew you were trying to move heaven and earth for him. We knew too.

I personally have never experienced the death of a loved one that didn’t come without some regrets. We have to try to let ourselves off the hook and realize it is a very difficult situation that is never easy.

Moreover, when people talk about a death being peaceful, well I have never experienced that, it’s always been terrible. So, I think society sets some sort of standard that is impossible.

Keep in mind people themselves cannot usually predict well what they will want or need when it comes to end of life, and it often leaves the family struggling with decisions that are very difficult and leaves them questioning could it have been better. I think no matter what you would question your decisions, there was no easy or perfect decisions.

My heart goes out to you and your family. We are all here to listen if you need to talk.

canidmajor's avatar

Oh, @Jeruba, I am so sorry. All the loves to you.

cookieman's avatar

I am so very sorry for your loss @Jeruba. The narrative that unfolds when someone dies is often unpredictable and certainly beyond our control. There is no fault here for you. None.

Now you have to love yourself as much as you loved him. You deserve it.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’m so sorry. Please know we all have regrets like @JLeslie said. We are not experts and it’s tricky to navigate.

jca2's avatar

I’m so sorry, @Jeruba. Hopefully the many happy and wonderful memories you have will be a comfort to you.

smudges's avatar

My wish is that you find the peace that he now has.

Jeruba's avatar

Promise yourself and tell your loved ones: if at all possible, never get in an ambulance alone.

The last time, 16 months ago, I went with him and stayed right there every minute. This time, because of covid, they wouldn’t let me. So I don’t know what happened to him next. I should have got in my car and chased them and insisted on being with him in the ER. But I trusted a broken system, to my everlasting regret.

We didn’t see him for three days, and by then we’d lost control of the situation even though I had his AMD and power of attorney right in my hand.

He should have come home from this. He should have.

raum's avatar

Oh, Jeruba.
[gentle hugs]

janbb's avatar

That sucks!

canidmajor's avatar

Oh, my dear one, this is just all so awful. I hope you can get some good rest soon.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Praying for peace.

longgone's avatar

Oh, @Jeruba. I wish I could hug you. Please try to let yourself feel peace. It’s obvious from your words here that you loved him very much. And now, you’re the one who’s left suffering, he’s at peace.

JLeslie's avatar

@Jeruba Covid stole from you the ability to do everything you would want to do for your husband. It was out of your control, it’s not your fault. If you had followed the ambulance you would not have been able to go into the ER. You were in an impossible situation.

Jeruba's avatar

And then when we did get in, he was on a breathing contraption that he could not just be pulled off of, and it was obviously tormenting him, and we could only watch him struggle to breathe against all odds. I’ll never forget the horror of the sight.

The odds got him.

He tried to escape on day 2. This old guy, fragile as a wisp, on O 2 24/7, who could hardly walk more than a few feet at a time. He managed to holler and fight to get out. They tied him down and drugged him. I found out only afterward.

If I didn’t call 911 from home, I was afraid he’d die right then. It would have been better for him. But he had explicitly asked me to call, commanded it through gasps, and if he had died right then because I didn’t call, I would still blame myself for that. There was no good path.

And the contraption, forcing oxygen into him, covered his mouth and nose, tightly clamped, so that it hurt his face and he could not speak or move or signal or probably even hear anything. And couldn’t wear his glasses. He must have been utterly out of his mind with pain and fear and isolation.

@JLeslie, you are right, it was impossible.

And now, while dealing with this devastating loss, we have to fear for covid for ourselves after being in that dire and perilous place.

janbb's avatar

That is so horrible! You had no good options in this situation. I agree with JLeslie – Covid took away anything you could do.

smudges's avatar

@Jeruba There was no good path.

You’re absolutely right, and as the immediacy of this passes, maybe you’ll be able to use those words as a comfort.

I just can’t imagine going through that.

Cupcake's avatar

@Jeruba That sounds horrible. I am so sorry for you and your loved ones. And I’m sorry your husband was afraid, isolated, alone and in pain. I hope that, in time, you find some peace and are able to feel all of the love and support that surround you. Please know that you did your very best with what you knew and what resources you had at the time.

SergeantQueen's avatar

@Jeruba I love you and I am so so sorry for your loss.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I saw this whole thing too late. I’m so sorry I should have seen it sooner. I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope that the rest of your family is free of Covid.

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