Social Question

Hexr's avatar

Would you get offended if you knew someone took you off their Facebook list?

Asked by Hexr (475points) April 11th, 2010

…or Myspace, or whatever you use. Say this person is someone you thought was a relatively good friend, and have had some fond memories with, but don’t actively speak to anymore. Where’s the line where you wouldn’t be offended? What do you think the person would say if you confronted them about this?

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45 Answers

Seek's avatar

My sister in law has me blocked from commenting on her Facebook, and I couldn’t care less.

My digital life is a non-issue with me. I use Facebook mostly to communicate easily with the other moms in my son’s playgroup, and so my hubby’s family can see pictures of the baby. Anything else is just gravy.

Vunessuh's avatar

No, I’d just be really curious as to why.

TexasDude's avatar

What bugs me more are people I was great friends with in highschool adding me on facebook and never talking to me, but talking to other people, yet still not deleting me. Look, if you are going to add me as a friend, I assume that means we are going to be friendly, and I’m not going to be yet another notch in your virtual friend counter bedpost, for fuck’s sake.

Emt3225's avatar

Not at all… I couldnt care less what they do.. They added me as their friend just so i can be their neighbor on Farmville etc..

shego's avatar

Why be offended. If you don’t actually hang out with them, what’s the point of getting all worked up over something so immature.

BoBo1946's avatar

bother me about 15 seconds!

filmfann's avatar

Not even 15 seconds. Whatever.

shego's avatar

A true friend would be there for you without being on myspace or facebook.

BoBo1946's avatar

—oh, maybe 14!—lol

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I lost respect in that person because they took me off their facebook due to their girlfriend being upset that some time before they got together, he and I slept together – we’ve been nothing but friends since and they both came to my wedding so I thought she was being pretty damn petty and thought him quite the coward for not being able to stand up to her. He hoped I’d understand and I did, I understood he didn’t care about our friendship and I don’t want a friend like that.

wundayatta's avatar

I used to do that kind of thing when I was behaving rather erratically. In fact, I killed off my account entirely, at the end. No more facebook. Can’t say I miss it. But I might start another one some day.

Cruiser's avatar

The only honorable thing to do is to commit Hari Kari!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@wundayatta Don’t forget to add me. :-)

MorenoMelissa1's avatar

I wouldn’t get upset at all, sometimes people accidently click on something that can take a person off their list.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@Vunessuh I agree. I’d just want to know why. I’ve deleted some because they don’t talk to me. I also agree with @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard. Don’t add me just to make it look good. Either talk to me or forget me.

chyna's avatar

I’ve seen some people with 900 + friends. There is no way they can keep in touch with all those people. I think they just want to see how many they can get on their list.

anartist's avatar

I’m too tired.

Kismet's avatar

I’d kinda be offended if we were close, but I think I’d like to hear out their reasons why before getting too offended.

Of course, I’m a sensitive person and I take everything that everyone does to heart.

Rangie's avatar

It will take a whale of a lot more than that to offend me. Personally, I would not confront her and start something over such a little issue. If you go looking for trouble you just might find it. Move on with your other friends. I have a little thing I do when I don’t understand some unimportant thing like this. I hold my hands, palms up on each side of me and say “Oh Well” and resume whatever I was doing.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Friends are people you actually talk to. Perhaps this will put it back into proper perspective for you…

CaptainHarley's avatar

I would assume they had their reasons and that, if they wanted to share those reasons with me, they would.

Jeruba's avatar

Yeah, @PandoraBoxx. That’s what it feels like to me too. I guess my attitude is passé by the length of several generations now.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Fads come and go, but good manners and kindness never go out of style.

thriftymaid's avatar

Well, since I have a number of people on my friend list on FB who I never really talk to, I would not be surprised or offended if they removed me from their list. If a true friend did, I would be surprised and would ask them why.

Draconess25's avatar

If they deleted you, then they probably weren’t good friends to begin with. They were probaby using you.

Ludy's avatar

@Vunessuh I was reading the question and as i read i tought the same thing, but yoiu answer first, great answer btw!!! :)

Ltryptophan's avatar

Not a big deal, have to wonder why they approved you in the first place… Did you threaten them?

Rangie's avatar

I hope you don’t have to explain yourself every time you do something. Thank goodness people don’t confront you every time you make a decision. Like you said you really weren’t talking anyway. Besides, she really doesn’t have to explain herself, anymore than you do. Unless you think you are loosing your best friend, I would suggest you move on and take the high road kiddo.

chamelopotamus's avatar

If it was someone I actually personally hang out with face to face, then I wouldnt care as long as we still hang out. If its someone I dont know, then no I wouldnt care. Really what matters is if you are hanging out with that person, and facebook is just facebook. It shouldnt take facebook to inform you of whether or not you two have a good friendship. The only reason I ever log onto that thing is because Im alone and Id rather be hanging out with someone, its like “this is just a middleman; either ill hang out with my friend or I wont, and I’d obviously like to, so I will, goodbye facebook, logout”.

talljasperman's avatar

It would hurt…Thats why I only add my real friends that I trust as friends on facebook…

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Only if one of my children did so.

Rangie's avatar

come on daddy, are your on facebook?

Rangie's avatar

My granddaughter set me up on facebook, and I really don’t know how to use it. Now my sister checks on her grandaughter with it.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Is it possible you are friends with someone the other person does not want to friend?
Are all your privacy settings wide open?
Are you broadcasting your friend’s information to the world?

I would not be offended at all.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

HA! Not for a second. If someone deletes me on any site, it’s because we weren’t actually friends. My true friends know me inside and out and they would never delete me over any disagreement.

Berserker's avatar

Facebook is such fucking bullshit, and I use it merely to keep in touch with people I know. As for all that drama shit, if they wanna take me off their list, then do it. Not my problem, and I’m prolly not gonna react.
But I got like 16 people on my FB and that’s it. To me it’s just a tool, to exchange phone numbers with haha. I visit my page I think at least three times a year. E-mail notification does the rest.

dandeelion47's avatar

I have seen one person on Facebook with over 1500 friends. There is no way anyone could have that many friends and really know who each one was. LOL. It’s just a game to see how many people they can add. I know this person and I know for a fact that back in school days they also had to come in first, have the best of everything and be #1 in everything otherwise their mommy dearest threw a fit, so it doesn’t surprise me to see them competing for FB numbers. Many people will add people they don’t even know for this purpose. A friend of a friend of a friend, etc.

As for me, yes I have had 1 or 2 people to drop off my list. I have about 150 people currently on my list. I don’t even remember who they were now and it doesn’t really matter. All of them are people I have known or had an association with sometime in the past. If they want to come and go, fine with me. Not something I am going to get my BP up over. If I try to engage in conversation with someone on FB and they don’t want to talk back to me then I just don’t both with them anymore.

dandeelion47's avatar

In response to Simone:

“I lost respect in that person because they took me off their facebook due to their girlfriend being upset that some time before they got together, he and I slept together – we’ve been nothing but friends since and they both came to my wedding so I thought she was being pretty damn petty and thought him quite the coward for not being able to stand up to her. He hoped I’d understand and I did, I understood he didn’t care about our friendship and I don’t want a friend like that.”

This is a double-edged sword. I can see that you are upset that you lost a friend but it appears you expect the friendship to be on your terms stating “He doesn’t care about our friendship.” Well, you have to look at this from your ex-lovers/friend’s point of view too. He is worried about upsetting his current girlfriend and I can understand that. His loyalty should be to his girlfriend now just like yours should be to your husband. Neither of you owe each other anything. Friends come and go, relationships change, that’s life. I would not want my husband or boyfriend corresponding with a woman he used to sleep with either.

Seek's avatar

I’m amazed at how many people are actually under the impression that their partners should cut off all communication with their past life each time they alter their romantic relationship status.

dandeelion47's avatar

Obviously you, like many other people seem to have your life priorities with relationships screwed up. So you are saying that the wants/needs of ex-girlfriends/boyfriends and ex-lovers whatever should come before husband, wives, present girlfriends/boyfriends? Something seems wrong to me with that picture. That is simply YOUR OPINION. But if you choose to live your life that way I can’t imagine you ever having a long-lasting relationship. If Simone’s ex-boyfriend did not want to continue contacting her because of his current girlfriend I think she should understand and you should too. What is the big deal? Like I said, friends come and go.

dandeelion47's avatar

I think you want something to argue about and I have no more time today, sorry. Have a great life!

Seek's avatar

Look who assumes a lot about someone she’s never talked to.

My husband (to whom I’ve been married for three years), still occasionally keeps in contact with an ex-girlfriend. They were friends for ten years, dated for five, and he’s still close friends with her brother.

Am I supposed to force him to pretend none of that ever happened? That would simply show selfishness and insecurity on my part.

Response moderated
Seek's avatar

Welcome to Fluther. You’ve just received your first “personal attack” flag. You’re off to a great start.

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