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15acrabm's avatar

My best friend has been ignoring me for no reason. What should I do?

Asked by 15acrabm (512points) September 4th, 2010

I really miss her and I don’t know why she won’t talk to me. Usually we are really close. She is really sensitive and can have her fealings hurt really easily, so I don’t want to acuse her of anything. I really want my best friend back. What can I do to get her to talk to me again.

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15 Answers

alana_smithee's avatar

I went through this with one of my friends. I let it go for a few months that she wasn’t initiating or responding and then finally freaked out, got all juvenile and told her I was going to stop contacting. What she responded with knocked my socks off. She’d developed an addiction to her pain killers, was also drinking way too much to try and sleep and ended up a mess. She said there were days she was so guilty not to keep up with friends that she just got messed up worse.

Ask your friend is she’s in trouble, ask her to tell you if there’s anything between you two that you haven’t been aware of, any toes stepped on kind of deal.

Seaofclouds's avatar

You really can’t make her talk to you. Has anything happened recently that you think could have caused her to stop talking to you? I would suggest trying to send her an e-mail or write her a letter telling her how you are feeling. Tell her that you miss having her in your life and you would like to talk to her again. From there, give her a chance to think about it and hopefully she’ll respond to you. Good luck.

SuperMouse's avatar

Has she refused to even speak when you ask what is bothering her? If she is even ignoring your attempts to find out if you have done something to offend her, I think you just have to wait her out. @Seaofclouds is right, you can’t force her to talk until she is ready. I would use the email sea recommends to be sure she knows that you are ready to listen when she is ready to talk and that you are not mad, just concerned for her and wanting to be sure you haven’t done anything to hurt her.

daytonamisticrip's avatar

Think really hard about anything you might have done wrong. If you can’t remember give her some space and in about a week talk to her.

tamkli3's avatar

This is going on with me and my friend… Well, maybe it’s ex- friend now, I’m not sure (haven’t talked to her in a while) but I mean it could be that you guys might’ve grown out of each other? I’ve stopped talking to my best friend because I’ve had too many issues to deal with myself, and adding her to the equation ontop of what I’ve got is out of the question. Me and her’ve had many arguments in the past, and what’s got me not talking to her right now is the fact that she’s so obsessed with her and her boyfriend…

Anyway, what I’m trying to get at is… Maybe you guys just need a little time apart. But I mean, try and talk to your friend and see if anythings on her shoulders and you could possibly help her with… It always helps to know you’ve got a friend to lean on when times are like they are now **shrugs**

marinelife's avatar

Why haven’t you asked her about the change in attitude?

You could simply say that “It seems to me that you are not talking to me as much as usual. Have I done something to offend you?”

Ben_Dover's avatar

Ignore her back.

Cerealcup's avatar

Well first there has to be a reason for her to be ignoring you. I think the best thing you should try to do is talk to her and whats going on becuase she’s never going to come up to you if she’s ignoring you so suggest you try and talk to her.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Hmm…honestly I think this has happened to me before…But Uhm I suggest not to talk to her in a week or a couple of days and try asking her why she’s ignoring you. Maybe she’s upset at something and is not wanting to talk to anyone right now…There are many possibilities. But this is all something I would do. I hope things become better with you both and don’t worry so much it’ll be alright.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

there is a reason

stardust's avatar

The only way you can know is by talking to your friend. She might have a lot of things going on at the moment. Maybe she’s swamped/maybe she’s annoyed at you, etc. It could be anything.
It’s possible that your friend feels the same way you do. She could be wondering why you aren’t around. Communication is the key.

Mom2BDec2010's avatar

I doubt its for no reason. But you should just ask her if she’s mad at you then you’ll know.

Disc2021's avatar

My good friend does shit like this too, it’s at the point where I’m tired of caring about it.

Ask her about it – if she doesn’t answer, what more can you do? Find friends that dont disappear out of nowhere and actually value genuine friendship. It’s really immature.

serenityNOW's avatar

I’m going through this, too; in fact, it just inspired me to write a “did I do anything to offend?,” email to my, somewhat best-friend. Life is too short to hang on to people that fall off the grid and cause undue stress and sadness. I love him dearly, but there’s a universe full of people out there and I’m not suggesting that they can replace your friend, but it’s so nice to start of with a “clean-state” with new folks…

OwlofHappiness's avatar

Well, if she is ignoring you, there has to be a reason. Therefore, I reccommend asking her what is going on. If it’s something you did, you will know, and take appropriate action. Otherwise, she may be having personal problems, and you can comfort her.

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