Social Question

Gifted_With_Languages's avatar

Are you a good listener?

Asked by Gifted_With_Languages (1123 points ) January 22nd, 2014

Do you generally like helping people in any way, try to solve their problems, give them some kind of support?
Does that fulfill you? Is it reserved only to your closest friends or you’d try to be there for an absolute stranger if they seek help?

Many thanks for your answers.

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20 Answers

rojo's avatar

What?

livelaughlove21's avatar

Come again? ;)

I enjoy listening to people, sure, as long as they’re not whining or going on and on about things I’ve already heard a million times. My mother does this constantly and, over the years, I’ve learned how to drown out her voice when I want to.

On the other hand, if I’m completely bored by the subject, it’s hard for me to pay attention, but I don’t mean to ignore people for the most part.

Coloma's avatar

I agree with @livelaughlove21
I do not enjoy endless repetitions of the same ol, same ol, recycled stuff some people insist on considering “conversation.”
I have a lot of wisdom, insight and knowledge and will share if asked, but have gotten extremely savvy about choosing to not share anything with those that clearly just want a sounding board for their endless complaints.
I know someone right now struggling with a drinking problem, I recently told her that I was tired of talking about her nightly wine consumption and that she either needed to accept she drinks a bottle of wine almost every night or go get professional help. Sheesh….

janbb's avatar

Are you a good listener? Are you even reading the answers? Do you care what we write?

Gifted_With_Languages's avatar

Yes, I am. Yes, I do read your amazing answers and yes I do care about what you are writing.
I take pleasure and satisfaction in reading your answers. They are fantastic.

rojo's avatar

Mostly with friends. Not so much with acquaintances or strangers. And, I have learned over the years to be more supportive than offer solutions. Honestly, I don’t think it does anything for me; I do it to help them.

ucme's avatar

My wife tells me i’m not, at least I think that’s what she said.

janbb's avatar

@Gifted_With_Languages Thanks for the response!

Gifted_With_Languages's avatar

@janbb : You’re most welcome.

Judi's avatar

Listening and being available to give support are two different things. Many people are the first to jump in to help but they want to control the help and never bother to listen to the actual needs of the person they are showing concern for. I sometimes fall into this category and need to step back and remind myself that the person may not need the help I’m offering and it’s better to take the time to listen to and get to know the person and their needs before jumping in to save the day.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Yes, I am a good listener. I’ll pretty much listen to anyone being coherent and what I perceive as honest. Strangers are preferable actually because you can go on with no follow-up or repercussions (like April told me to break up with you.)

dxs's avatar

I listen to people since it’s not very often that I’m in a conversation with someone. It can be anyone, regardless of how much I know them.

zenvelo's avatar

I can listen well, but I do not go out of my way to listen to strangers.

downtide's avatar

I’m a good listener but I don’t feel like I’m very good at helping people to sort out their problems. Either I can’t think of anything, or else I do but it’s rejected. People who whine about their problems and yet still reject every solution that is offered, they annoy me and wear me out. It’s like they enjoy having problems (perhaps because it gets them sympathy?).

keobooks's avatar

I am not a good listener in the communication way. I am a good eavesdropper, though.

YARNLADY's avatar

No, I am not a good listener. I jump to conclusions and interrupt. HOWEVER, I do try to help people in every way, whether they be friends, family or strangers.

Seek's avatar

It depends.

I have very low tolerance for people in general.

If it’s someone I care about, and they actually want a problem solved, and aren’t just looking for someone to tell them how wonderful they are and how awful the person causing all their problems is, I’ll be happy to listen and offer advice.

But I don’t do small talk. I can pretend to listen to babbling people, but I’m not. Which helps, because I can be equally fake-interested in their petty complaints every single time they talk about them.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

I’m a confession-magnet. Total strangers confide in me and tell me their deepest, most troubling problems. It’s always been that way for me. It must be something about my face, or maybe the way I talk with people.

ibstubro's avatar

I’m all about helping people. To the point that it can wear or creep them out. I shop 2nd hand clothes for 4–5 people. I shop cheap food bargains for 6–8 households. I struck up at least 2 conversations with total strangers while shopping today alone – advice on where they could get similar items cheaper. Both were thrilled, and we had nice conversations. This month I picked up a kid walking in a sleet storm. I live by a busy highway, and any time I see someone pulled over, I stop, roll the window down, and holler “Everything okay?” Usually they’re just using the cell phone, but within one week last year I told 2 cars to pull in the driveway for help – even changed the girls tire.

Conversely, the boy at the gas station was nonplussed by my admonition that he should refrain from smoking while pumping gas. I think he thought I was a busybody non-smoker when, in fact, the handle of the gas pump leaks gas onto the ground!

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