When was the last time you cried?
Hasn’t been asked in a couple of years.
There was a fb post by an acquaintance, who’s my age, and she made a comment about crying often and how it helps.That just struck me as odd. I haven’t cried “often” since I was a teenager. Then I realized had to wrack my brain pretty hard to remember the last time I cried.
This is what I came up with: I cried in 1999, when my then-20-year-old daughter got a wild hair to move to Washington State. She took her 4 year old son, who was more like one of my own kids than a grandson. I had him more than she did, and there was just 8 years difference between him and my son. I was just wracked with grief, not knowing if I was going to see them again. When we took them to the airport, my then 14 year old daughter suddenly stopped on our way to the gate and said, “I can’t do this.”
I said, “Neither can I.” And I grabbed her hand and we just kept walking. (Jen came back 6 months later. :)
The next time was in 2004, when my Mom, who had Alzheimer’s, kept agitating to go back to Washington, to go “home,” where she grew up. She had sisters there. She became really angry when I tried to help her understand that she wouldn’t have her own place in Washington, she’d be going to another assisted living home. I just had to let it run it’s course.
Took her up there, and the next day we went to check out her new digs. The look on her face when she realized what the plan was just killed me.
When we got back to my Aunt and Uncle’s house I locked myself in the bed room and just cried in agony, clawing at the bed spread. She felt SO betrayed, and I felt like it was my fault.
I think that’s the last time I cried.