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icehky06's avatar

Please help me with this controversial prom issue!

Asked by icehky06 (891points) May 26th, 2011

Caution: long!
(Please forgive me for careless grammar errors. I’m not in the best mood)

My boyfriend was going to throw a spectacular prom after-party at a hotel. Now, I know they get broken up easily but he’s been planning this out for a very long time. I do not feel like explaining the details but basically this girl (let’s call her Jane) who was never invited nor uninvited to this party found out all the information and sent an anonymous letter to Brett (my boyfriend’s) house. Now, it’s a long story how we found out who it was. Brett went to her house as politely as possible asking if the mother knew the hand writing of the letter, but she said no. Hours later the women confessed and said Brett was agitated and demanding. I am a witness, he was not either of those. Jane called the cops after Brett left and said she felt “threatened” so the cops went to Brett’s and she actually got a restraining order on him. Brett does not know this girl, he can’t pronounce her name correctly (remember her name is not actually Jane) and has never seen her. The cops are interrogating Brett, suspending him and calling random people to the police station. Basically the entire school hates this girl now. She ruined senior prom for 60+ kids. I’m a junior so I don’t mind but this is where my question comes in – I’m going to the police station tomorrow because I had a facebook status saying “I absolutely despise my grade, except 99.9%”. Now tell me, how is that hateful? If they interrogate me what should I say, what shouldn’t I say?
What should Brett do? They’re sending black mail to his house and bulling him, yet the cops are protecting this girl?

**I’m asking fluther because all of you people are smart and witty. Please help. My boyfriends going to Stanford to pursue a career in anesthesiology. He needs to graduate. Help us.

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10 Answers

XOIIO's avatar

Say the truth, don’t lie or stretch anything and tell them whatever happened. Tell the cops that she is blackmailing him, the cops are protecting her probably because she exxagerated and lied to get their sympathy. She sounds like a total bitch. I don’t see how this would stop him from graduating though.

icehky06's avatar

Because during school Brett punched a window out of a fit of rage. School’s are all about anti- bullying and the well being of others so they’ll probably come up with some bs stuff saying he could have injured another student. You know school administration.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Okay, so let me see if I got this straight. By “spectacular prom after party” and the fact that the cops are somehow involved with this AND you haven’t mentioned what your boyfriend’s parents have had to say in all this, your boyfriend planned to host an underage drinking/sex fest at a local hotel. (That’s what they were back in the day, and I assume time has not spawned anything new here.) A girl who was not invited ratted out the party to Brett’s parents. Brett, (who has anger management issues and busted out a window at school) confronted the girl’s mother who at first denied her daughter wrote the letter, then admitted it.
Brett exhibited his anger management issues at the girl’s house, and feeling threatened, they called the police.

Have I got it so far?

Zaku's avatar

Just chill out and calmly tell the truth. If you didn’t do anything wrong, just stand up for yourself and say the truth calmly. Don’t worry about Jane. She’s not worth the effort. Brett should admit that he didn’t really need to go in person to her house or ask her mom about her handwriting.

I don’t get the bit about the window what icehky06 mentioned. I guess he either invented it or pulled it from some other question?

chyna's avatar

@Zaku Follow the thread, @icehky06 was the original poster.

Kayak8's avatar

I am in agreement with @BarnacleBill‘s assessment until additional information is forthcoming. And I don’t know what this means: “they are sending black mail to his house.”

BarnacleBill's avatar

I think you are too caught up in the emotion of “the bitch ruined the party” to look at the fact that 60 underage teens drinking at a hotel would have resulted in the cops being called anyways. It always does.

Brett over reacted. Ask his parents to host the party at the hotel and assume legal responsibility. Then he can invite who he wants, doesn’t have to deal with Jane, and if anyone gets killed driving home from the party/decides to fly off a balcony into the pool/ then Brett won’t be responsible; his parents will be.

Seriously. Work on his parents to have the party at their house, take everyone’s keys, save the money. Not Jane’s deal.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
Poser's avatar

If Brett truly wishes to be an anesthesiologist, he needs to understand that his prom is not worth throwing it all away for (you should too). Seriously, I had two proms, and neither of them were that good.

If Brett didn’t do anything wrong, and if you didn’t do anything wrong, then you really shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Tell the truth. Even if a judge grants a restraining order, so what? It’s non-punitive. If what you say is true, and Brett doesn’t even know this girl, then it won’t affect him in the least. So your after-prom party got ruined. If he doesn’t learn to control his temper, he’ll have a lot bigger issues than that.

marinelife's avatar

First, Brett (and you) need to get over feeling victimized. That’s a bad mindset to operate out of.

He didn’t really do anything wrong, but now he is caught up in the machine of public scrutiny. So now the things has escalated, and he needs to take a deep breath, stop worrying about how he got into this mess, and behave very carefully from now on.

1. He needs to stay away from Jane totally. If she has a restraining order, he must obey it. He doesn’t need or want any interaction with her anyway.

2. He needs to go to the principal and apologize for breaking the window and offer to pay for it. He needs to very calmly tell the principal that he is working on his anger issues, and nothing like that will ever happen again.

3. He needs to tell the police that the whole thing got out of hand.

A. he doesn’t know jane well, and he did not see why she even wrote the letter.

B. He should not have gone to Jane’s house, and he is sorry that he did, but that Jane’s mother has now acknowledged that Jane wrote the letter.

C. The party he was planning was just supposed to be a fun event.

D. He should probably organize the kids who are attending the party into some kind of community service event for which you can get publicity.

I’m not clear on why you have been called in by the police. But avoid drama. Stay calm.

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