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flo's avatar

Kavanaugh related Q: Is everything bad we said as 15 yr. old, or whatever age, about someone else factual?

Asked by flo (11610points) September 20th, 2018

If you said “I was punched by…” or anything else imaginable that’s terrible, to a friend, or whoever, does it mean it’s a fact? No, so, what is the point of finding out if an accuser told anyone whether it’s at the time or later on?

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34 Answers

elbanditoroso's avatar

Of course not. If you asked me whether I liked by 9th grade teacher or not, I would say “she was mean to me” because that’s what we felt when we were 15 years old. With the passage of 40 years, I don’t remember that low-level of a fact.

However, if someone tried to rape me when I was 15 – that I would remember. Vividly.

flo's avatar

@elbanditoroso I’m not asking about what’s memorable and what’s not, at all.

flo's avatar

…Just the fact that we told someone that person x did something bad, doesn’t mean person x did the bad thing.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

@flo…it depends on the thing.

YARNLADY's avatar

I recently read an article that claims our mind makes up fake memories all the time.

kritiper's avatar

Not in every circumstance. But inquiring minds want to know!

notsoblond's avatar

I’m so confused by this question.

I was raped at 15. I began talking about it here on Fluther several years ago. This was the first time as an adult that I spoke about it. The rape happened 30+ years ago.

I talked about it because it’s the truth.

Persons x raped me. It’s a fact.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

In some situations we come up with fake memories @YARNLADY. Not all. I think when things happen when we are young and still filled with imagination might get skewed. Not every memory is a fake memory. Is that the newest attack tactic on the woman?

Patty_Melt's avatar

Okay, if the woman who claims Kavanaugh raped her told someone back at the time, that does not convict him, but does convince investigators that she hasn’t just made up the story recently for political reasons.
If nobody at all remembers such a claim way back then, it casts doubt on the story.

Mariah's avatar

The reason that it’s significant that schoolmates rememebe people talking about the event back then is that people think Ford made up the incident this year for political reasons.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Mariah I heard she still never filed a police report, ever. He is a girls coach so if he is a turd, we should be able to find witnesses or victims. Reps are just mad Dems sat on it until now. And she won’t come testify without allowances. Its weird tbh.

So the answer is no. Our minds can play tricks on us.

Mariah's avatar

“Our minds can play tricks on us”? Are you saying she imagined the whole thing? Surely you can see how insulting that is to anyone who’s been through something traumatic, as you have yourself.

Feinstein sat on it because Ford requested privacy. And it’s not as though Feinstein did nothing; she passed it onto the FBI. You can see why Ford wanted anonymity and why Feinstein wanted to provide her with that, given that Ford is now receiving death threats.

If she testifies now it’ll be a he said she said. I don’t blame her for wanting the FBI to do some digging first.

Y’all’s mental gymnastics for defending this guy are pretty impressive.

Response moderated (Personal Attack)
Dutchess_lll's avatar

@KNOWITALL..above you indicated you were raped. Did you file a police report?

Response moderated (Personal Attack)
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mazingerz88's avatar

Everything bad we said about someone else as factual? Most likely not. But some of them could be factual.

seawulf575's avatar

Throughout our lives, things happen. We do bad things to others and others do bad things to us. If you believe otherwise, you are lying to yourself. If we tell someone about something that happened to us, does that make it true? It could…it could also mean we are slanting things. My ex-wife used to do that all the time, especially after the divorce. She would make stuff up by telling only part of the story or by making stuff up, just to cause problems. Example: One time during our divorce she was silly drunk and got belligerent. She started an argument ended up hitting me…repeatedly. I pushed her an arms length away so she would not be able to hit me any more. She then claimed I hit her. Technically, I did…I put a hand on her and moved her. But she conveniently forgot to mention the part where she was attacking me. My point is that I could have been an abusive husband and beat her up on a regular basis or I could have been trying to move her away from hitting me…defending myself. When you hear one side, you as the listener, make conclusions in your mind. And not all accusations are true.

johnpowell's avatar

I have never been accused of attempted rape.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Dutchess_lll Why do you want to know now, three days later?

JLeslie's avatar

Hold on now, I didn’t think she accused him of rape. I thought it was attempted rape, or he held her down, and put his hand over her mouth, something like that. I’m not trying to downplay it, I’m just wondering the details she gave, I might have the story wrong. Let’s nit make up details, let’s get it right.

One time a guy I went out with once, who was very strong, got on top of me, and I could barely move. I was afraid. I wriggled and pushed and he relented and let me go, but if he had been determined to rape me he likely would have succeeded. I was assaulted, but in the end not physically hurt. Luckily.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Mariah Sorry I didn’t see your comment as I discontinued following this thread the other day.

Again, I’m not saying she is lying or making anything up, but the past is often recalled differently over long periods of time.

I think women handle these things differently. My case is not her case, and I was actually violated and she wasn’t. If you want to know if I approve of how she’s handling it, I do not. That’s as an intelligent woman, not a Dem or Rep issue.

notsoblond's avatar

She wasn’t violated? He put his hands on her. She was terrified for her life. She may not have been raped but her experience is just as terrifying.

flo's avatar

Thanks all

@Patty_Melt ”...but does convince investigators that she hasn’t just made up the story recently for political reasons”
But are they looking at the fact the story could have been made up even at that time?
@mazingerz88 _“But some of them could be factual.”
The OP is not implying that some are factual, Of course some of them, _are factual not maybe factual, because attempted rape exists. The OP is asking what is the point of asking her if she had told anyone before the nomination? Don’t some people tell vile things about other people when they are jealous at them, or to get back at them for whatever reason, including things that they felt were entitled to etc.? Like a student about a teacher because of too low a grade etc.
@seawulf575 Yes, not everything we say is factual. Who we told an untruth to, or when we told it makes no difference.
By the way I see in some posts above “rape”, it’s attempted rape that she is accusing hem of.

Patty_Melt's avatar

Yes, it could have been made up back then, but that is why further investigation would be warranted.
If she never mentioned it until the present, then it is likely politically motivated.
It is a process. First narrow down the timing, then go from there.
Either way, it could be truth, could be a lie.
The best way to find out is to dig away slice by slice, like archeology.

You are correct it was not rape she accused him of.
I think some of us misspoke out of the passion which arises when confronted by such topics.

flo's avatar

@mazingerz88 I meant “The OP is not denying that that some are factual” But I’m sure you saw that because of the statement after that.

@Patty_Melt But who is mentioning that it could have been made up back then? That is the whole thing. Do you have a video where someone is saying that?

flo's avatar

@Patty_Melt I just happened to glance at the 2 last statements in your last post. Otherwise I wouldn’t have known you edited to add. What I’ve been doing lately is just post another one starting with or “To add to my last post: ...”

Patty_Melt's avatar

My darn phone screen is touchy. I was still typing and it posted in the middle of a word.
She has given a couple of names, from what I’ve seen, but so far the ones asked don’t recall any such behavior.
It doesn’t seal it as true if she said something back then, but it tips the scales of justice her direction a bit.

flo's avatar

@Patty_Melt Why though?

Have you read @seawulf575‘s post and my response to @mazingerz88

flo's avatar

…Most or less than most people decide to not tell anyone for fear of being seen as not to bright for putting themselves in that situation, or they’ll be in big trouble at home or with boyfriend /girlfriend, And the ones who tell people esp. mentioning the name of the person in a group therapy can just be out to malign a person. It means nothing

Patty_Melt's avatar

Of itself, it means nothing.
I don’t know how to put it any plainer.
One thing at a time. What they find out about “when” doesn’t decide guilt or innocence, it only decides where to go from there.

Aster's avatar

She can’t testify yet. She has ” fear of flying ” in case nobody else has read that. Which I guess means she has never been on an airplane or was on one time and never will fly again.

flo's avatar

@Patty_Melt We agree to disagree. There is nowhere to go from there, because even if the police, FBI get on it how are they going to find out if it happened or not?

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