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Tisha247's avatar

Why do I keep having dreams about this guy I like?

Asked by Tisha247 (4points) 1 week ago

I work at this center where I take care of people with mental disabilities. There is a guy there that is more than 10 years older than me. We have become friends over time. Now it feel like it has potential of being more than friends. We lean on each other a lot when we are going through tough times. And that seems to making us become closer. I am really starting to think he likes me. And I feel that he knows I like him right back. I know that this can not happen seeing that I work there. And he is a client there also.

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17 Answers

elbanditoroso's avatar

DO NOT get into a relationship with a patient.

It is probably going to get you fired – that sort of thing is totally illegal.


It will end badly.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Because you’re crazier than he is, and I don’t mean that facetiously. What I mean is that love has a nasty habit of depriving people of their common sense. You know what the right thing to do is, and one of you had better do it.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Whats the man prognosis? Is this short or long term care?
Without more info, it doesnt sound feasible or healthy for you.
And some men are really good at manipulating younger women. Be careful.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

You already know you shouldn’t fool around with the clients.Let the idea of that go.

kritiper's avatar

You dream about him because you like him, it’s as simple as that.
But getting involved with a patient is like getting involved with a co-worker: It’s bad news and only bad things can come of it.
Resist the urge!!!

Inspired_2write's avatar

Nightingale syndrome
The Florence Nightingale effect is a situation where a caregiver develops romantic feelings for their patient. Many often misunderstand the term to mean the opposite; that is, a patient falling in love with the caregiver as a result of interpreting an amiable bedside manner as affection.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Speaking from my own experiences, I can tell you that I fall for all the wrong people. I think I’m love-retarded…

I’m currently talking to a girl that I work with, at a new job. What’s crazy is, I KNOW IT’S DUMB. But here I am. Again.

Maybe this guy has a trait, or a few, that gets you revved up. MY weakness, is red haired girls. But. It’s like a moth to a flame thing, for me.

So here I am. Talking to a redhead, who bartends, at the restaurant I work at. My mind keeps telling me to stay away, but my heart is, apparently, out of my control.

I would love to offer you advice, but there are plenty of good replies above. I’m just a fuck up. And, I guess I always will be…

Welcome to Fluther:) We are a tight knit bunch. But you can lean on us, if you need to. We will use all of our resources, to try and help you.

Peace n love.

Mimishu1995's avatar

OK, I’m going to go against the crowd a bit. I think there’s nothing wrong with having dreams about “inappropriate” things. I dream of myself killing people from time to time, but that doesn’t mean I like killing people in real life. Dreams aren’t meant to be realistic.

I also think there’s nothing wrong with having feeling with your patient, as long as your patient also has feeling for you. There is life beyond the mental health center after all. But are you absolutely sure he has feeling for you? As I read ”We have become friends over time. Now it feel like it has potential of being more than friends” and ”I am really starting to think he likes me. And I feel that he knows I like him right back”, I can’t help but suspect that you may be projecting your own feeling on him. What evidence do you have to prove that you two “lean on each other a lot when we are going through tough times”? He is a person with mental problem and you are a caregiver, so it’s natural for him to lean on you. That’s part of the job, and that isn’t a strong enough proof that he’s into you. You really have to do a self-evaluation first.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^That’s very human, of you . GA….

LadyMarissa's avatar

IF you allow this to flow over into your “real life” & his family doesn’t see things the same way you do (or maybe he does), YOU can be charged with “taking advantage of a vulnerable adult”!!!

Dreaming about him is a normal process; however, as the sane adult, you should know better than to try & take it any further. From your words that I read, “you” believe that he’s having feelings, “you” believe that he wants it to go further. I saw NOTHING saying that HE believes in any of this. Never play where you collect your pay & your life will be much easier!!!

MrGrimm888's avatar

^Well said. But let’s be honest. This guy, is a guy. He’d probably at least have sex with her…

amzounslide95's avatar

It is more common and more likely that your mind’s vision of that person is nothing like that person at all. It may or may not be your wishes for how that person might respond. It may even be your brain using an image of that person to represent something else to your consciousness.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^Sound advice, from a rookie Jelly…

Welcome to Fluther.

LadyMarissa's avatar

@MrGrimm888 I have NO doubt that he wouldn’t be willing to have sex with her; however, legally speaking, his mental deficiency may very well not afford him an adult decision on that level. IF his Mom gets wind of the sexual liason, she can take it to court saying he was violated by an adult when he has the mental capacity of a child. As a former LEO, I’d think you’d understand the point.

@amzounslide95 Very well spoken & I also welcome you to Fluther!!!

MrGrimm888's avatar

^I get it. And I agree, with you. She’s putting her career, in jeopardy, and opening herself to criminal charges…

If I were her. I would ask her superiors, to remove her from further contact with him…

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mrgrtt123's avatar

Expectation will hurt you if you keep on thinking that way. I feel like it is best for you two to remain friends.

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