Social Question

Soubresaut's avatar

Do you wonder what other people think of you?

Asked by Soubresaut (13695points) January 25th, 2010

Or do you care…?
Or do you know? Think you know?

I never seem to leave the impression I think I leave, or I mean to leave… so I was just wondering, does anyone? Do you?
What do you think people think of you? And then if/when you find out what they really think, how close is it to what you thought they thought? Is it better or worse than your perception?
just curious…

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39 Answers

spiritual's avatar

I think about that sometimes, but then I think it’ll drive me mad thinking like that!
I hope I’m honest and genuine, but I know there are always people who like you and people who don’t.
It’s all very subjective and based on people’s different perceptions which can alter greatly. So I just let people think what they want!

frdelrosario's avatar

I’d be a lot happier if I didn’t.

Comedian Maria Bamford, who’s depressed with unwanted thoughts syndrome and all kinds of good stuff, has a good bit about that. She talks about a friend who’s had a boob job, and then she contemplates getting work done on herself — like “getting the part of my brain removed that cares what other people think”.

sakura's avatar

I do all the time, I know I often worry that they don’t like me, I figure that I’m like marmite you either lurve me or you don’t there’s no inbetween with me!

I guess I shouldn’t care so much but I do, I just want to make sure that everything is ok for people and I don’t offend anyone. My fella reckons I can be too much of a push over at itmes because I am so worried about people liking me. But hey ho that’s how life is some times!

HTDC's avatar

Constantly. I have severely low self-esteem so I guess it doesn’t help.

Cruiser's avatar

Aside from how I look when out in public, the right baseball cap on Saturday morning covering the bed head stuff, the only other thing I worry about is if I picked the right flavor to throw at them if they have too much of an attitude.

Bluefreedom's avatar

I try to leave a good impression when I interact with others and I hope people will take the thought with them that they were satisfied with our encounter long after we have parted ways.

What do I think people think of me?
That I’m down to earth along with being unique and friendly.

When I find out what they actually think, is it close to what I thought they thought?
Not always but oftentimes it isn’t too far off the mark from what I originally suspected. That’s probably a good thing.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that most people consider me to be an asocial asshole. It bothered me in my teen years, but I’ve grown out of it. Professional competance built my careeer and a late life relationship with a beautiful and caring lady bolstered my self esteem. But now I am without either and have to crawl out of this depression and grief and built some kind of a life worthwhile at least to my self, if not others.

JONESGH's avatar

Honestly, who doesn’t?

HTDC's avatar

@JONESGH Exactly. Anyone who doesn’t isn’t human.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Of course. I wish I could meet me so I had some idea how I come across to people.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Sure I wonder. Who doesn’t? But I try to treat people the way I want to be treated, so I never have the fear that I get talked about badly. From the number of close friends & have, & the way my family treats me, I don’t worry about it. I feel loved & that’s the main thing. :-)

Austinlad's avatar

I have a hard enough time wondering what I think of myself!

Harp's avatar

I’ve come to realize that no one is a harsher critic of me than I am. Even if I found out that everyone thought the world of me, I still know better than to take that very seriously ‘cause I’ve got the dirt on me. Besides, being held in high esteem carries its own subtle curse.

Jeruba's avatar

Not very often. When I happen to find out, I am usually surprised. Most of the time it’s just not a matter of any concern. For the most part I am satisfied with the way people respond to me and interact with me. Sometimes I just know that someone doesn’t like me, and usually I don’t care. Either I am not interested in their opinion or I like them anyway, regardless. I have never expected or desired to be to everybody’s taste.

@Harp, lurve for the subtle curse.

DominicX's avatar

Well, I wonder about it sometimes, but I don’t care. I honestly don’t. I do what I want. :)

phil196662's avatar

I have been told I am a cradle robber because I walk down the street with the wife on one side and my Daughter on the other ( before they ask they assume she’s not related), arm in arm as if I am dating both (our daughter is 16 and looks 24!). And I don’t care what people think because if they ask I will tell them whats up!

janbb's avatar

I used to wonder all the time; now I can recognize affirmation better and I also need it less.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Yes, especially if I want or need something from them. I care what mother thinks since I live with her. I care what my partner thinks because he loves me and we want to grow forward together in life. I care what my friends think because I love them and want our time together the most understandable and constructive. I care what my bosses think because I value my job and their esteem means $ to me.

Shield_of_Achilles's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Man do I know the feeling. Unfortunately I’ve never been to good at anything. But at least now I don’t have to worry about how strong I get or how much I worry other people. I may try to join the UFC in a few years now that I don’t have someone ridding me about how often I get into fights. I liked it better when I was ready to die for anyone.

To answer the question, no. I don’t give 2 s**** what people think of me. If they don’t like what they see, they can walk away.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Shield_of_Achilles There’s so much more to life than physical fighting. I’m sure you can find some positive talent that can benefit the world, even in a small way. Think about positive contributions, even if it’s only helping one other person. I went through a cocky, destructive cycle myself. Fortunately I was in uniform which made it acceptable. Maybe a military enlistment will help you get it out of your system?

Shield_of_Achilles's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I want to join the FBI or the CIA, but I’m not so sure they’ll hire me. I would have been in the Army 2 years ago, but my father told me to “go to college and get a job worth having”, plus someone I respected very much told me not to do it.
I still have two years in the hell I made for myself, so well see how that one goes.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Shield_of_Achilles You need at least a bachelors degree for FBI or CIA. Better to finish your degree and go for an Army commission, the other things may fall into place easier that way. CIA recruits Army officers with intel backgrounds.

Shield_of_Achilles's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Not that your assistance isn’t appreciated, but I think the people here are tired of hearing about me

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

@DancingMind Don’t focus so much on what other people think of you. Be the best friend you can be and treat people as you want to be treated. These things take care of themselves.
I do my best. Some people I care about love me, some don’t. I can’t change that!

Facade's avatar

Of course I wonder and of course I care.

knitfroggy's avatar

I wonder what people really think of me, but I don’t care. I’m mildly interested. I wouldn’t change anything about myself though. I am me and if someone else doesn’t like it, they can stay away from me.

ETpro's avatar

NO! Enough of them have already told me that I decided to close the survey project prematurely. :-)

Ivan's avatar

Life became a lot easier and more enjoyable when I stopped caring.

daemonelson's avatar

A lot of my time is spent wondering about the minds of others. I try to adjust my behaviour as such.

wundayatta's avatar

Sure. I want to be liked. I want to know if people like what I do or write. But if I’m not well, I never believe what people say (unless they say bad things), and if I’m well, I don’t seem to need it so much.

I am constantly surprised when I find out that people have been paying attention to me, or that they like what I say. My life has been based on the assumption that I’m just yelling down a well. I guess my default assumption is that people don’t particularly care for me unless they say otherwise. Like I said, when I’m sick, it matters enormously, and when I’m well, I have the confidence to not care if people think I’m weird.

YARNLADY's avatar

Not anymore. I used to be very self-conscious, but some of the jobs I held, such as event coordinator and stage magician’s assistant helped me get over that.

Naked_Homer's avatar

less and less. I am finding the more I work on just being the best me I can, the more fun I have, the happier I am, the less I care and the better people think of me. I just try to be politely aware of those around me.

ETpro's avatar

@Naked_Homer Ha. There you go making me feel bad about my snarky answer. :-)

OneMoreMinute's avatar

Nope. ... Unless I have caused them pain unknowingly.
But, when I heard the phrase “What people think of me is none of my business” I was FREED!

Naked_Homer's avatar

@ETpro – hehe. I didn’t think it sharky at all!! Heh

Sophief's avatar

I don’t care what people think of me, I’m sure most people don’t like me, but that is their life.

jeanna_'s avatar

I haven’t cared in about 12 years.

phil196662's avatar

@Dibley ; I think your great! If we have communication then it can’t be that bad…

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I treat people as if I cared whether they like me because it means I listen to what they have to say and I treat they with respect and dignity.

Once someone has worked hard to convince me they are stubborn and ill intentioned, I cease to make such efforts.

In actuality, I don’t concern myself much at all about what people think about me.

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