General Question

jeremy0207's avatar

What might be some flaws you generally notice in guys?

Asked by jeremy0207 (197 points ) 2 months ago

When I say “generally” I mean flaws that you see in at least most guys. Or some flaws that might be common in guys you’ve dated, or hung out with, or so on. This can be flaws that need to be worked on, or flaws that are completely harmless (even though it’s a flaw, it doesn’t exactly affect you in any way, but it’s something that it’s noticeable). Ready, Set…..... GO!

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29 Answers

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

Not most guys, but certainly many guys – trying much too hard to be humorous and witty.

Society loves a man with a good sense of humor. He’s funny and likeable, and he puts other people at ease. BUT, that sort of thing can’t be forced. When I meet a grown man who constantly makes bad quips, really wanting to charm me or be the life of the party, I just want to get away as quickly as possible.

I encountered this so often when I was single and dating. A guy would spend the entire evening trying to entertain me, responding to everything that I said with a stupid, cringe-worthy “joke.” I know that such guys were just overcompensating for being shy or awkward; it doesn’t work.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Hygiene. I don’t date guys but god some of you guys stink.

Seek's avatar

They use sweeping generalisations and expect the rest of us to do so as well.

ucme's avatar

I got nothing, no wait…obsession with titties, there, I admit it.

marinelife's avatar

Men tend to want to fix problems that women tell them about instead of just listening.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@marinelife You bring us a problem and you’re surprised we want to fix it? Isn’t that what problems ask for? Yes guilty as charged but give us a break.

ragingloli's avatar

The biggest flaws that all of them share is their gender. And it gets progressively worse from there.

janbb's avatar

They don’t feel it is necessary to respond to a text message.

jeremy0207's avatar

@janbb what if it was the other way around, how would you feel about the situation?

janbb's avatar

@jeremy0207 You mean if they did respond consistently to text messages? I would like it.

jeremy0207's avatar

@janbb Yeah, also, what if the woman was the one that didn’t feel it necessary to respond to a text message? How would the situation go on from there?

janbb's avatar

@jeremy0207 Well, if it were a specific situation and those are really the only ones worth discussing, the person whom it bothers should talk to the other person involved about it.

Carly's avatar

I think it depends on how busy the person is. If it was my fiance, who is super busy and doesn’t have time to text, that’s different. But if you know they have their phone on them and they never text back or take hours to get back to you.. that makes women get anxious and over-analyze. Then again, I’ve dated men who text constantly, and it makes me think they have nothing else interesting in their life besides me. Its okay if it’s early in the relationship, but after a few months, you should text back when its appropriate.

Back to your original question: the biggest flaw I see is guys being cheap when they shouldn’t. I dated so many guys who would blow tons of money on tricking out their car and buying expensive video games, but when they got sick they wouldn’t got to the doctor. When one of my bfs had several cavities that would have cost him about $500, he decided not to get fillings.. Why? I have no clue..

hearkat's avatar

Insecurity is very unattractive in a person, regardless of what sex they might be.

Kardamom's avatar

These are the ones I notice the most, that are really irritating:

Using bad language in casual conversation. It’s OK, occasionally, like if they’ve stubbed their toe or are calling out someone who is hurting someone else (like a person hitting their girlfriend or their dog or their child).

Not having good manners, especially table manners.

Hocking up loogies in public, really loud, thick throat clearing in public. Not excusing one’s self from the table or company of others to blow one’s nose.

Not employing (or understanding what it is and why it’s important) common courtesy, to friends, family and service persons.

Halitosis, or stinking feet.

Farting loudly and freely and often, without feeling embarrassed or saying pardon me.

Nose picking, ear picking, teeth picking.

Braying like a donkey, instead of just laughing like a normal person.

Being passive aggressive.

livelaughlove21's avatar

I find that a lot of men have a hard time showing interest or flirting with a woman without coming off completely creepy and awkward. It’s more sad and unfortunate than a flaw, I guess.

AshLeigh's avatar

Please note that this is based off of the men I have dated, been friends with or have in my family. I do not like making generalizations about people, and I am only comparing the people I know personally.
Being over the top angry about minor situations.
Complimenting too much.
Not complimenting ever. When you’re in a relationship, girls like to be reminded that they still find her attractive. Most of us are insecure, at least a little.
Being rude to other people, for no reason or for petty reasons, to the point where I actually go back to apologize for his behavior. My father and brother do this often.
Spending more time playing video games than with her. Every time she comes over.
Letting her kind of sit on the side lines, and feel very left out/out of place when they meet up with his friends.

Coloma's avatar

I think @Kardamom spoke for me as well. Especially the passive aggressive crap. I’m much more concerned about character flaws than spinach in someones teeth. haha
I cannot stand passive aggressive people, period.

Play mind f—k games with me and you’ve met your match, I will directly call you out and boot you out of the door too. lol
Honestly, there is nothing worse than passive aggressive people and their silent treatments when you attempt a discussion about anything uncomfortable. If ever I could murder someone it would be a passive aggressive type. Never fear it wouldn’t be on the stealth, I’m assertive, you will see me coming at you with the butcher knife. I’m not a backstabbing kind of woman. lol

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

The largest flaw men have is that many are mommas boys and need to understand that they don’t really need women for anything. Then they can be free to find themselves and have real relationships with women who will respect them for who they are.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@ARE_you_kidding_me Momma’s boys drive me nuts. When you marry a woman, she becomes your priority. She’s your new life. Your old life is in the past. My mother likes to be a bit pushy at times, but I just give her a stern glance and she backs off big time.

Haleth's avatar

When they’re Nice Guys (AKA, passive, insecure, entitled jerks who hide their jerk-ish tendencies with superficially “nice” behaviors)

Or when they’re just regular jerks, like the kind of person who is rude to waiters, makes “ironic” racist comments, makes rape jokes or says “gay” as an insult. (Acting like this isn’t limited to men, but I’m mentioning it here because it automatically kills my interest in dating someone.)

Being inconsiderate or unwilling to compromise- we only hang out at their house, I do all the driving, asking me to change big things to fit their lifestyle (like where I work or live- seriously, that’s happened), the time we wake up and go to sleep has to be on their schedule.

Not accepting it if a woman isn’t in the mood for sex, and using pressure or manipulation to get their way (“don’t you love me? If you really loved me, you’d want to” or “are you not attracted to me anymore?” [with the implication being that if you’re not, the relationship is over] or “just relax,” or “why are you being such a bitch?” or continued physical contact that leads up to the requested sex act.)

Also, asking for blowjobs all the time. A blowjob should be a gift, given freely whenever you feel like it. In that context, it can be a lot of fun. When I care about someone, it makes me happy to make them happy. You wouldn’t ask your loved ones for gifts, or make them feel obligated to give you things, right? There’s no faster way to turn a fun, generous act into a resentful chore. Addendum: when a guy’s idea of foreplay is me giving him a blowjob.

That’s all from experience (I’m 26), and it probably makes me sound bitter and jaded. Not so. I’ve had a lot of positive experiences with guys, and consider myself an optimist. But there are also a lot of guys out there who are very ignorant about the world around them and have a huge sense of entitlement, and nothing that’s ever happened to them has caused them to question that worldview. One man, who I respect a lot, put it this way: “the world doesn’t make them grow up anymore.”

It’s kind of a catch-22. If you’re an ignorant, arrogant jackass, you probably aren’t self aware enough to know it! And if you find yourself wondering sometimes, “hm, am I a jackass?” you probably aren’t one.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I don’t think there is a “general” flaw that is common in “most” guys, and the same for girls. There are some that I can’t stand and keep a lookout for, but that is because some personality flaws don’t bother me as much as others.

Juels's avatar

Hygiene, hygiene, hygiene… How clean a man looks and smells is the first thing I notice. Laundry soap, fabric softener, shampoo, soap and deodorant are great smells. I hate when they drown themselves in cologne.

Apparently this is genetic, my daughter is crushing on a guy at school because “he smells nice”. She hasn’t mentioned anything else about him; just his smell.

antimatter's avatar

We tend to drink a bit on Friday nights…
We watch porn when the opportunity presents itself

Haleth's avatar

@Juels That goes double for Axe body spray. The commercials are a lie!

simone54's avatar

Clean your fingernails.

Coloma's avatar

Oh, being late really ticks me off. I dated someone about 8 years ago that was always 30–60 minutes late, really, how disrespectful can you be? It didn’t last, obviously. haha

livelaughlove21's avatar

@Coloma For the first two years of our relationship, Josh was horrible with time. If he said he’d be there at noon, you shouldn’t expect him until 2. I later discovered this was a family trait. I fixed that real quick, because I don’t do that late bullshit. He now knows better.

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