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Gifted_With_Languages's avatar

Is premarital sex a sin against God?

Asked by Gifted_With_Languages (1112 points ) February 19th, 2014

Explain.

Thank you enormously.

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45 Answers

Seek's avatar

Which god?

Since there are over 3000 gods that we know of as being worshiped throughout recorded history, and all of them have the same evidence for their existence, the probability of any one of them being the “right God” is equally indistinguishable from absolute zero. These various gods differ so widely in their parameters and demands that any attempt to please one would invariably invoke the painful wrath of another.

What is sin?

Google’s dictionary says: 1. n: an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law.
Since we’ve established that there is a wide variety of possible gods, all of which equally improbable, it’s safe to say we have no hard concept of “divine law”, at least not one that holds any real authority over any other. If there’s no law, you cannot transgress against it.

No god, no sin.

trailsillustrated's avatar

No god wants you to enjoy yourself. He doesn’t however want you to be stupid such as bringing unwanted children into the world, he just wants you to act like you got some sense.

stanleybmanly's avatar

There are those who will tell you that it is. You should gauge such judgements against the other fantastic claims made by these believers. If you’re looking for a lifetime of endless guilt trips, you’re off to a great start. Ask yourself if you believe that people utilizing the equipment which “God” has given them to please one another deserve to burn in hell for for it .Would a rational god promote such nonsense?

ucme's avatar

Fuck that shit

hominid's avatar

@trailsillustrated: “No god wants you to enjoy yourself.”

Calling @gail! For now, I’ll just enjoy it without the comma.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Please tell me why it is any of god’s business who and when I am screwing?

Calling this a ‘sin against god’ is simply coercing people to social mores that they wouldnt normally have, using god (or more realistically, the anger and punishment of some imaginary boogeyman) to force people to act in a way that humans (not god) think is acceptable.

If there is a god, why doesn’t he/she pay attention to the big picture – not the small stuff. Can you imagine a god that sweats over details? What a waste of time!

kess's avatar

These are my definition for the relevant terms used in my answer.If there is a disagreement with those definition, you still would be able to discern an answer to your question.

God, means ultimate good, does not judge between good and evil but allows all things to be as they are. Thus the self destructive will self destruct and the self constructive will self construct.

Marriage (singular) means a uniting of two individuals into a single unit.
All that is necessary is mutual agreement between both parties.

Marriage (communal) the uniting of two individual into a single unite by communal legislation either by law or religion or both.
All that is necessary is the proof of marriage such as a marriage certificate.

Sin means to be self destructive.

Sex means sex.

From the we conclude that God does not judge sin but leave it to the individual.
The individual living within a community must give consideration to the community in order to judge their actions whether it is self destructive (sin) or not .

The best Sex is sex within the bounds of the marriage that is constituted of both singular and communal elements.

With this you are now competent to judge whether your sex is self destructive (Sin) in an individual or communal sense.

Bill1939's avatar

If God is love, and two people who love each other engage in sexual behavior, their act is not a sin. However, when someone manipulates or coerces another to engage in sex, that is a sin.

Pachy's avatar

If God is taking the time to watch what you’re doing in the privacy of your own bedroom, we’re ALL screwed.

hearkat's avatar

I am agnostic; therefore, I do not follow any religion’s dogma or rules. Sex is a biological urge based on our instinctive drive to reproduce, like all living plants and animals.

Because our species has developed our sense of culture and mores, I think that sexual activity is fine – when it is between consenting people who have reached a level of emotional maturity and self-awareness to fully comprehend the physical and emotional consequences of their actions.

Marriage is a legal contract between two people stating that they choose each other as their family and promise to make each other their priority.

The problem is that many people in our society don’t achieve that level of maturity until long after the biological urges have started, and sex is used to manipulate people. Many people don’t reach that level of maturity to handle the true commitment of marriage until long after they’re married and divorced – sometimes more than once!

Therefore, different regions of the world have selected different ‘age of consent’ levels for sexual activity, and that’s what we’re left to go by for making legal determinations of “guilt”. It’s not perfect, but i can’t come up with a better idea.

KNOWITALL's avatar

As a Christian, any sex outside marriage is a sin, yes.

elbanditoroso's avatar

@KNOWITALL – that does it. Reason enough to not even consider becoming a christian.

Cruiser's avatar

The Bible does not forbid premarital sex. There is no passage of the Bible that references premarital sex as a sin against God. The association between sin and premarital sex is a new Christian idea. The only possible reference to premarital sex being a sin in the Bible is in the New Testament. This premise although, is generally dismissed by theologians because the Greek word pornei, or sexual immorality is commonly incorrectly translated into the English word fornication.

In Biblical times women were the owned property of a man. Men ruled over women and their children. Women had very few, if any, rights, and men often bought women from their families or at an auction, usually at age twelve and a half. The fathers owned the women (daughters, wives, concubines, handmaidens, servants etc.) and if you wanted to have intercourse with one of his properties, then you had to ask his permission.

Premarital sex involves any kind of sexual contact prior to entering into a legal marriage relationship. There are a number of reasons why Scripture and traditional Christianity oppose this. God designed sex to be enjoyed within a committed marital relationship. To remove it from that context is to pervert its use and severely limit its enjoyment. Sexual contact involves a level of intimacy not experienced in any other human relationship.

When a Christian engages in premarital sex, or when one who has lost his/her virginity comes to Christ, the Holy Spirit will convict of the sin, and there will be grief over it. However, it’s important – even vital – to remember that there is no sin beyond the reach of the blood of Jesus. The good news is if we confess, He will not only forgive, but will cleanse us from “all unrighteousness” and why so many people including Christians knock boots before they get married.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@elbanditoroso Yep, following God’s rules isn’t easy!

One of my family members was the closest to a living breathing ‘perfect’ Christian and got ridiculed, called names and basically shunned, and we live in Mayberry in the Bible Belt which is predominantly Christian- that should tell you something, bless his heart. Anyone who truly lives by the laws of God (as we know them) more than likely has sacrificed a lot for their faith. #respect

Dutchess_III's avatar

No. It’s just not a good idea, especially if you’re a woman.

zenvelo's avatar

No, it’s not a sin.

As a contemplation I read this morning discussed:

There is a necessary movement between the two ends of the divine/human axis, between one’s core and the core of God. The only real sin is to doubt, deny, or fail to experience this basic axial connection. (This was written by a Catholic Priest).

So sexuality between consenting adults in any shape is not in itself sinful.

bolwerk's avatar

I sure hope so. It’s one more really obvious reason the fucker needs to be overthrown.

Response moderated (Flame-Bait)
Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I always figured if god didn’t want us to have sex he would have put a lot less nerve endings down there. At least if it’s true I’ll be nice and warm.

Juels's avatar

No. I don’t believe in sin but I do believe in sex.

Response moderated
Symbeline's avatar

I’m just gonna agree with a buncha people.

@trailsillustrated Yup. Although mind you, it’s not because you’re married that the kids are any more wanted. But good point.

@ucme Yup. in fact, splendidly said bro.

@Adirondackwannabe That’s what I was gonna say, pretty much. I say the same about homosexuals; if God didn’t want them, well He shouldn’t have created them. His problem, not mine. Same goes for this. If sex is such a sin, he should have made it so it doesn’t feel good when you get doooooown.

@Cruiser As it’s mentioned, I don’t think I ever saw a verse saying that this WAS a sin, but as you further explain, it is frowned upon. I think it is often attributed to adultery for some reason, even though the latter has nothing to do with premarital sex. All that stuff you explain is interesting, but it’s also freaky. Men ruling over women and crap, no thanks, not for me.

The good news is if we confess, He will not only forgive, but will cleanse us from “all unrighteousness” and why so many people including Christians knock boots before they get married.

I never really understood this. Shouldn’t people strive to be good Christians, as opposed to sinning whenever they want and going, don’t matter, God will forgive me, anyway? I know people are made of sin, of course, and it can’t be avoided, but it seems strange to me, like God was built around humans, rather than the other way around.

Response moderated
Dutchess_III's avatar

I think it became a “sin” because of the severe consequences of having a baby out side of wedlock. It was much harder in the past than it is today. You have a poor family, can hardly feed their kids, maybe looking forward to marrying one kid off to ease the burden…but instead she comes home with another mouth to feed.

downtide's avatar

You’re assuming god exists at all. If he does, and if he cares about us, he will care about the following things:

1) That people are happy
2) That no-one is being pressured into doing something they are not comfortable with.
3) That no-one is being pressured into not doing something that would make them happy
4) That unwanted children are not conceived
5) That wanted children are raised by at least one loving parent
6) That those who do engage in sex, or marriage, are emotionally mature enough to ensure that none of the above five conditions are broken.

What is “marriage” anyway, but a piece of paper with two signatures on it. Every other aspect of a happy, healthy marriage can be achieved just as well without that piece of paper.

Cruiser's avatar

@Symbeline To best or better understand this concept of pre-marital sex, marital sex and adultery, one has to familiarize themselves with the moral fabric and conditions within the community at the time of the writers of the old testament. Back then communities were tight knit and everyone knew everyone and prayed together and celebrated together. Marriage was a very sacred institution to them on many levels….spiritually, legally and communally. Everybody knew who was dating who and according to their religious beliefs people that slept together did so because they were in love, spiritually connected and within the confines and demands of their religion. So in the event there was an premarital sex, this couple probably passed their communities test of being in love and within the confines of their religion and also knew their families very well and that soon their would be a celebration of their marriage. What was the sin at the time was when two had sex who weren’t in a loving relationship. This was seriously frowned upon for practical and religious reasons. The practical reason was a persons property was legally handed down to the next of kin. If a man has sex with a woman who was not his wife and fathers a child with that woman that messes up the ability for his legal children to have full inheritance rights. And because of the tight communal nature they lived in there would be all sorts of ripples within this community over this illegitimate child. Or then the father of his daughter, who may have had premarital sex and gets pregnant, this father is due payment for the loss of his daughters virtue and loss of the future heirs. This was a very serious matter to the community and why premarital sex was then viewed as a sin against their God to help reinforce this communal concept and the protection of personal property.

It was viewed as a way to enforce their religious belief and need to have sex between two people who were in a loving, caring and morally sound marriage. Their sense of community depended on it..

Symbeline's avatar

So this goes back to the origin of marriage, where it was used to secure prosperity and status, as opposed to what we define it as, today? That’s messed up. :/

Dutchess_III's avatar

I believe at one time, and not long ago, marriages were arranged. Love had nothing to do with it.

Symbeline's avatar

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that was the origin of marriage before, and in some places, it still is.

Paradox25's avatar

They beat me to it, which one?

Blondesjon's avatar

Only if you’re fucking Him.

1TubeGuru's avatar

God is ok with it .although I am not too sure about Santa or the Easter bunny..

Cruiser's avatar

@Symbeline Yes afaict it was done to secure prosperity and status as these things were hard earned back then. But also to preserve the integrity and sanctity of the God fearing moral code they lived by. It kind of came down to if you want to live in our happy community then you need to honor our laws…which were all written and enforced under the rules of their God and the sins he and subsequently they condemned.

kritiper's avatar

No, since there is no “God.” And since there is no “God,” there is no such actual thing as “sin.”

GloPro's avatar

So since I’m new here I’m a bit confused as to how the straight up hate posts got thru but my personal post to not judge got moderated. No notice to me as to why, several “likes” to boot
My last point was not to Judge (mt 7:1) which I find extremely ironic.

Seek's avatar

It may have been because your post was related to another that got moderated, and it didn’t make sense without that context.

GloPro's avatar

Thanks!

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Cruiser ”...To preserve the sanctity of their moral code…” who in the world came up with the idea that sex is a sin in the first place? Could it just a highly modified reaction to the male instinct to preserve HIS genes, which he can’t be guaranteed of if the female is sleeping with others besides himself?

Cruiser's avatar

@Dutchess_III At the heart of my last comment was this legal right to personal property. Back then all personal property handed down directly to the children of the father. If daddio was off spreading his sperm around the community that would total mess up this process of who gets his stuff when he dies. Their moral code was very strong in part to this need to enforce their legal right to the heirs and of course their intense belief in their God. Religious doctrines were their laws so they created their moral codes that if broken were considered “sinful” and against the spirit of the faithful members of the community.

Today if you called someone who had pre-marital sex a sinner, you would be heartily laughed at.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Cruiser Not in the Bible Belt. Lots of young adults here dedicate themselves to abstinence for religious reasons. I personally outlasted each and every one of my friends (although I wasn’t married.)

When you try to live your life by the rules of Christianity, you can focus on helping others more than yourself and your selfish desires of the flesh. Some people don’t get it, but the more you suffer or sacrifice, the more you are respected.

Cruiser's avatar

@KNOWITALL that speaks volumes to the level of respect and self respect you and your peers have. I suspect good parenting had a lot to do with that as well as your faith.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Cruiser I appreciate that. My mom may not have been my example of what I wanted to be, but she sure was an example of what I didn’t want to be, does that make sense? She was wild and I knew I had to either be better than that or I’d succumb to the easy, pleasure-seeking life like she did. Luckily mom’s all grown up and better now.

rojo's avatar

Edicts against pre-marital sex had more to do with property theft than worry about who was sticking what into whom. There was a dollar (or shekel) value that could be assigned to a daughter that a man could trade for other physical objects of wealth, prestige and alliances that could benefit him in the future. Unblemished goods were of greater value than tainted or damaged ones so it was in a mans interest to keep female offspring as fresh as possible otherwise it would have made more economic sense to drown the females at birth.
Although we, in western society, have changed as a society and women have less economic worth to the father, (we allow our children to choose their own mates for the most part and do not require two goats and a milk cow bride-price) we still cling to the outdates mores of an earlier time.

downtide's avatar

It was also about being certain who the father of a baby was. Back when there was no such thing as a paternity test, and yet property still inherited down the paternal line, it was important for a man to know that his wife’s children were his own. That could only be achieved by teaching that pre-marital and extra-marital sex were sinful.

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