General Question

Nicole18's avatar

Why don't guys like foreplay?

Asked by Nicole18 (108 points ) February 25th, 2009
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

61 Answers

nikipedia's avatar

Because you’re not doing it right…?

TenaciousDenny's avatar

As a guy, I’m going to have to disagree with that and say we do.

MrMontpetit's avatar

Um, I do.

And I agree with @TenaciousDenny and @nikipedia

MrMeltedCrayon's avatar

I dig it. Good foreplay can make all the difference in the world.

purephase's avatar

You need a new boyfriend

Darwin's avatar

I am beginning to think that the guys you know are not very mature. Most guys do indeed like foreplay, especially if they are interested in having sexual relations with a girl more than just the one time or more than on that one day.

How old are these guys you keep asking about?

TenaciousDenny's avatar

I guess there is one form of foreplay that I’m not particularly fond of, and that would be excessive dry humping. I can understand how it feels good to a girl, because the rubbing/humping motion stimulates her clitorus a bit (I feel dirty using the word clitorus here, but anywho), but to the guy, it is just smashing and grinding up his junk. Throw in zippers, and things can go from unpleasant to dangerous. Can any fellas here validate these claims?

Nicole18's avatar

he’s NEVER givin me the chance.

bigbanana's avatar

The good one loves it, trust me. If they dont, thrown them back and reel in another.

chelseababyy's avatar

My boyfriend looooves foreplay. It’s very rare that we just go straight to sex.

@Nicole18, If he’s never give you the change, give yourself the chance. Just do it.

Darwin's avatar

@Nicole18 – you need to tell him he has no choice: start to enjoy foreplay or he won’t get anything at all.

MrMeltedCrayon's avatar

@TenaciousDenny: TRUTH. One of my ex’s was super into dry humping and basically wouldn’t do anything else. It was terrible… so, so terrible.

chelseababyy's avatar

@MrMeltedCrayon Wow. That’s painful.

wundayatta's avatar

Most of the reason why guys who don’t do much foreplay are like that is that they don’t know any better. When you’re young, involved in your first sexual experiences, what do you know? If no one tells you anything, you could get through several relationships before anyone gives you a hint. A lot of women are afraid to say anything, because they think they might lose the guy.

If the guy won’t learn, it’s best to lose him. It means he doesn’t respect you and he doesn’t listen to you, and he doesn’t really care about you. If you stay with him, then you probably treat yourself the same way.

Now, if the dude even cares a little bit about you, he’s gonna want to please you. I mean, does he want you dissin’ him, and passing the word around that he sucks as a lover? What if you put it up on MySpace? It happens, you know. I think that’s a sucky way to treat anyone, but a guy has to think of his reputation. So, even if he isn’t into pleasing you right away, you might subtly drop a hint about those kinds of issues, not that you would ever do such a thing, but his next girlfriend might, so now’s the time to learn.

Then teach him. Tell him what you like. Show him how to do it. Talk to him as he does it and tell him when it’s good and when it could use improvement. Tell him he will be rewards with a much more eager and willing partner if he does this stuff. Does he want you to jump his bones, or lay there like a fish?

One other reason that might come into play here. A lot of young guys get their information about sex from the porn on the internet. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen much foreplay there. It’s straight to the orgasm for the guy. And sure, girls just love to have a guy drip his cum into her open mouth like she’s a toilet! NOT!! Sure, girls go hog wild whenever they see a cock! I don’t think so. But that’s the idea boys get when all they know is porn.

TenaciousDenny's avatar

I’m glad I’m not the only one who has experienced this dry humping phenomenon. While I am appreciative of the fact that said girl wants to grind her junnk on mine, I am not as appreciative of the fact that my junk is being ground down into a nubbin.

btko's avatar

Great answer Daloon.

fireside's avatar

@TenaciousDenny – After a couple of painful lessons, i just learned to put my hand down there. My knuckles can take it.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

Yeah daloon is pretty much right. It comes down to knowing what to do, and not being selfish. Guys don’t get the same pleasure out of foreplay that a woman does so it doesn’t come naturally to us. So either he doesn’t know or he is being kind of selfish in bed and just getting what he wants out of it. Pretty common when your younger.

JoeyDesignsStuff's avatar

@Nicole18 Can I give you my number?

seekingwolf's avatar

I think it depends on the guy, and also how guys are socialized.

Guys are basically taught to be “tough” sort of “git ‘er dun”, and cold, not emotional…oh, and not a “wuss”, which means they shouldn’t do anything romantic. This can manifest itself in the bedroom, where guys may feel that foreplay is sissy and just want to get to the main, manly event.

Of course, I know there ARE guys out there who love foreplay. My guy likes it more than I do…! I think you’re more likely to find that older guys are into foreplay while younger ones aren’t. When guys get older, they may understand the woman’s needs, and may need foreplay to get and sustain an erection.

Jack79's avatar

the same reason guys don’t like salad.

It’s not exactly that we don’t like foreplay, but we’re so looking forward to the “main dish” that we tend to jump straight to it. In the food analogy, if you put a potato, a steak and some peas in a plate, most men will go straight for the steak. Maybe the potato. And will probably not even touch the peas. Whereas women will mix and match.

AstroChuck's avatar

I think that’s just a stereotype, like all guys like The Three Stooges. I happen to enjoy foreplay, and I hate the Stooges.

Except for Shemp, of course.

Nicole18's avatar

@JoeyDesignsStuff – your joking right?

Triiiple's avatar

I’ll take a bj any day, i dont know how this is a real quest =p

alive's avatar

ok, so how bout this question as an extension of nicole’s question:

what kind of foreplay do men like? (please don’t everyone say getting a bj)

chelseababyy's avatar

@alive Why can’t the guys say getting a bj? If it’s what they like, it’s what they like. Plus it’s fun to give ;D

Nicole18's avatar

hah. @chelseababyy . if you think its fun then w/e but not everyone like to give then… actually alot of people hate giving them.

alive's avatar

@chelseababyy i’m just trying to get a lil more creative than the typical “suck my dick”

MrMeltedCrayon's avatar

Uh… what do I like in terms of foreplay? Well, I suppose just about everything, so long as it doesn’t involve sticking something exceptionally large up my butt. As for oral, I think it’s a tit for tat kind of thing. I’m not going to go down on a girl if she isn’t willing to go down on me.

I have guy friends who will refuse to give their girlfriends oral, yet still expect blow jobs. It’s silly shit and I don’t quite get it.

chelseababyy's avatar

@MrMeltedCrayon My boyfriend is like that, he’s only gone down on me twice in a year, and I do it atleast once a week. I don’t mind though. I like to make him happy!

@alive, sucking dick can be creative. Just depends on what you do, and how far you’re willing to take it.

lc's avatar

Ugh! I hate that there’s a lady out there that even has to ask this question. Why men? Why?
Us ladies usually need some pre-loving, trust us, it makes for a better after party!
I suggest telling him that you want foreplay, and then what you like and want, and if that still doesn’t work, then find a guy who DOES likes foreplay! You owe it you yourself ;)

Triiiple's avatar

@MrMeltedCrayon Im one of those guys, eating the box is a pretty far reach from me. Better get me drunk first! I think it depends on the girl too, some girls i think i rather just go for the gold then waste time on the pre-game.

scamp's avatar

Who says guys don’t like foreplay? Lots of guys love doing what they know will pleasure their partner, but as Daloon says, you have to help him find out what that is. Help him help you by telling him what you like. Just don’t expect him to do it for half an hour.

There are many considerate guys out there that love getting their partners off. You just need to either teach your guy to be one of them or find another partner.

Send your guy to DSIM

(the Daloon School for Inexperienced Men.) He will set him right!

wundayatta's avatar

Naw, it’s gotta be the couple, or it won’t work. DSIM only takes couples. It’s all about communication. You know, your cell phone, text messages and fluther?

Oh hell, fluther can definitely be foreplay. I’ve seen a few women here mention how horny they get on some of these questions!

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

Foreplay is good.

JoeyDesignsStuff's avatar

@Nicole18 Yes, I was making the point that your question makes a false assumption. But feel free to erode my self-esteem. :)

careerbassmaster's avatar

When you are way into the person you are with then foreplay is great. The guys that are not into foreplay are guys who are not as into their women as they should be or guys that just want to get laid. I am very much into my girlfriend and love the foreplay as it intensifies the whole experience. It also creates a more memorable experience as you explore each others body learning every curve and every inch. Wow I think I need to call my girlfriend just thinking about it.

AstroChuck's avatar

Foreplay- yes.
Foreskin- no.

arnbev959's avatar

I’m more into afterplay myself.

AstroChuck's avatar

Afterplay is just rolling over and going to sleep.
I like that too.

MrMontpetit's avatar

I don’t really enjoy afterplay, I just find it boring. What’s the point if you’re already done?

RandomMrdan's avatar

@TenaciousDenny Agreed 100% on the dry humping thing. I remember back in the junior high and early high school days, girls seemed to be pretty big into that. And on occasion, I would get something that might be described as a “denim burn”. I try not to do the dry humping unless we’re already down to only our under garments.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

@RandomMrdan Yeah I think we have all been there dude. cringes

wundayatta's avatar

@RandomMrdan: sometimes you can switch a thigh for your wee-wee, and avoid those rug burns. In truth, the only place a cock belongs is inside, where it’s slippery and warm. Sigh.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

hey come on we all make that mistake as teens lol

RandomMrdan's avatar

@daloon haha yeah I’ve done that to kind of ease up a bit on the wee-wee. And yeah, it’s so warm and cozy… meant to be that way… like PB & J.

fireside's avatar

Denim burn is no fun, for sure.

Triiiple's avatar

Lol im glad i came back to this question, ah dry humping how i dont miss blue balls at all.

tb1570's avatar

I frickin’ love foreplay!!!

XCNuse's avatar

who can not love foreplay?

I might agree with fireside though, denim burn.. ouch.. not always fun

okay i lied, always fun, just .. not afterwards lol

TechScott's avatar

Guys with stamina like foreplay IF their partner has skills. A woman who expects foreplay but has no desire or skills to participate will find that her man will likely skip to the chase.

My girl likes receiving foreplay but had no skills to participate. I slowed the amount of foreplay until she asked why and I told her. She did a little R&D and now we have very satisfying foreplay in addition to copulating, everybody wins!. The issue is one of communication and both partners wanting to give to the other.

The_unconservative_one's avatar

@AstroChuck what’s wrong with you? The Stooges RAWK!

Horus515's avatar

I totally enjoy it. I think when I was young I raced through it too much. Anxious to get to my um, destination. That changes over time.

mamabeverley's avatar

zero to orgasam in 6 seconds….NOT!!! and @lc is right….It makes the party so much better!

Thammuz's avatar

I fucking love foreplay. I generally give her a couple of orgasms before we actually start having sex, works like a charm.

It makes the whole thing THAT much better…

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Gadzooks! Who in the world says we _don’t?_It is not intercourse just plain old f****** with out foreplay.

VinNavMan's avatar

Growing up, I loved a lot of foreplay, few of the guys I had in the past could go for hours just sucking, biting, licking and caressing until you get so heated up that there is literally steam rolling off you when you walk outside in the cool air. Unfortunately there are a lot of guys who do not realize that some of things you do to them are the things that please you. And a lot of guys get the feeling of being inadequate when you bring up the fact that they just are not doing it for you. Personally, I found a book at friends house one time. It was called the joy of sex. While my friends where looking at the pictures and cracking jokes, or making lewd comments, I was actually reading the words that were written. Imagine a 11 or 12 year old boy learning what the erogenous zones are and how to use them when he finally has sex at the age of 18. I have had a few partners that had orgasms without touching themselves.

VinNavMan's avatar

Unfortunately my partner of two years, only does foreplay for about 5 minutes then wants to just go at it. But where he lacks in sex, he makes up for in being a good companion. I guess I had to make some sort of sacrifice.

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