Has anyone been mean to you on Fluther?

It’s best to recognize that when people are mean to you that it’s usually their problem and not yours. This is true in life as it is in Fluther.

Also you can flag any personal attacks.

They’ve hurt my feelings :(
I just grab a cup of coffee and cry myself to sleep

noooo! it’s not allowed. I’ve had where what I said was called ridicoulous or something like that but people can’t be actually mean

I have not had much disagreement on Fluther. There may have been a misunderstanding or two, but I didn’t take it personally.

When I was “new” to Fluther, there were far fewer people here (although I didn’t qualify for an “Old Timer” award), so those who were here seemed to have established relationships, and I felt like an outsider; but no one treated me poorly because of it.

Oh, yes. And one instance of it I can recall most certainly had to do with my newness. How did I react? In the first instance I’m thinking of, I kinda just wimped out and cried. In the second instance, I was mean back and actually got congratulated for it.

Other than that, people post some rude or angry comments to me from time to time (I like to argue and I’m very opinionated), but nothing as big as the two instances I can think of (both of which were on my previous account). Usually I try to ignore it or call them out on it. If they’re an obvious troll, then I just ignore it.

The vast majority of the time, people are nice, though. And the meanness I’ve experienced here is nothing compared to what I’ve experienced on other sites.

Are you sure you don’t mean snarky.

There is a lot of dickiness on Fluther (I plead guilty as charged) but outright “mean” usually bands the collective together against the common threat.

I have gotten into a few arguments but they were all mostly friendly

Snarky! I love that word!

No one’s been rude or mean to me since I’ve been on Fluther. I’m sure there are people who have it in them like I do, but the delete button is my friend. Once I felt I was getting a little too irritated by a discussion and knew it wasn’t the discussion, but other things going on in my life, so just stopped following it.

Mostly I enjoy what others here have to say, and often find myself laughing at the computer.

The only jerk I’ve encountered is Allie. She’s made me cry on more than once occasion.

I lurve Fluther!
edited to add that I only posted this quip for the Exhibitionist Award when I saw how many people were observing…sorry, I couldn’t help it!

Snarky is an AWESOME word!

This is rare on Fluther.

I have seen a lot of playful banter but not much outright mean behavior. When I did see it usually the user was banned.

@Blondesjon No I don’t mean snarky. I like snarky- this is snark without humor so hence rude, snobby and all that jazz.

I am one of the n00bs! and can say i haven’t felt anyone has been mean, maybe a difference of opinion has been stressed but no cyber bully’s or trolls as of yet…

Yes. And they know who they are.

@OutOfTheBlue You are a jerk! There, someone was mean to you. :)

@chyna I have been bullied now, anyone have a cyber tissue?

DominicX once desecrated my lovely white couch with his dirty and disgusting boots and proceeded to say “F&*( yo couch!”

Yes. Only once and it wasn’t very long ago.

@PretentiousArtist Wasn’t that Rick James who messed up your couch?

I’m quite amazed. I don’t think anyone has been mean to me, and I’ve left myself wide open for it. It’s true, I used to be a little weirded out by @Blondesjon, but somewhere along the way, I figured out what was happening, and now, I hate to say it, but I’ve found he has a soft spot in his heart! Pretty scary, huh?

Yes unfortunately but I don’t want to talk about because I’m afraid they’ll see this response and know I’m talking about them, lol. It had nothing to do with newness just a difference in opinion on one thread that somehow led them to be rude to me on others.

@daloon @Blondesjon does indeed have a soft spot. He is not as gruff as he tries to appear.

Rude? Not really. Ignorant? Often. It’s a cliquey place, but I quite enjoy staying out of the cliques and giving my two cents with no regard to whether I’ll ever “belong”.

I lurve Blondesjon’s soft spot Jonsblond.

@Nimis lol…I lurve you too. ;)

Probably, but I don’t remember who, what, why, or when.

Yes, and I hold a little grudge. This person has been mean to other people too, so I know it’s their issue, not mine.

If someone seems mean to me then I’m probably misreading his or her posts. I’m not even sure it’s happened.

Usually the people with whom I argue (and I haven’t really argued much on Fluther yet) are those I consider nice, even if they make me angry. I think it’s very kind to entertainment an argument with another person.

I may have been mean to people. I don’t know; sometimes I’m not aware of it offline so I may not be aware of it online. I certanly hope I haven’t. If I have then I apologize and stuff. Yeah.

@chyna & @daloon . . . shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I have had people be “mean” to me.. but I understand for the most part… it’s because we disagree so wholeheartedly on some things. I can live with that. I have tough skin. There have been incidents of .. just total ignorant insults… but they are few and far between.. and it had nothing to do with my newness.

Only one person has been “mean” but I don’t think it was personal. I think he’s just naturally argumentative and targets anyone who doesn’t think like him. We actually got into an argument and I asked him to take it to the PMs and he said “no” because he liked to argue. Meh. Now I try to avoid it because my feelings have been hurt. Maybe I’m just a wuss.

Jonsblond has said unkind things to me in Finnish. (I think.)

The late, unlamented Jack Adams once accused me of being a male pedophile, which I thought was unimaginative rather than mean.

@gailcalled . . . i think it’s kinda hot

More annoying than mean. People would post interesting answers to my questions, and when I PMed them to ask them to clarify and expound, they shot off things like “figure it out yourself” and “who cares?”. I don’t see why people bother to respond to a question if that’s all they have to offer.

Only one person has ever been mean to me here. But it was a troll and he went away!

Hm… There is one person who hurt my feelings once. I’m not sure if it was on purpose or not, and he hasn’t done anything mean since then, so I’m inclined to think I shouldn’t have taken it personally. I’m still wary around the person, though.

Other than that, I don’t think anyone’s been mean to me on Fluther. I’ve gotten into a fairly heated debate or two, but I can’t recall any of them ever escalating to personal attacks or anything like that.

Yes. A few times. But whatever. I’m sure some people think I’ve been mean, but I haven’t, really. Except of course the 2 times that I actually was. But they had it comin”.

a couple of people have posted rude comments, but i think it had to do with my “newness” and my writing. i can’t write very well in english(french is my first language), but i do try my best. most people who said rude things about my writing shut up after i told them i was french. sometimes people just assume things too quickly.

One guy said he was gonna punch me in the dick, and, and, and, I was told I was gonna get pancakes, and I didn’t, and, and, and, some others were mean to me.

@filmfann Lurve!

Not that I can remember. That’s probably a good thing. And, no, I’ve never been mean to someone else on Fluther…..that I can remember. If I’m mistaken then I hereby sincerely apologize to whoever I might have been mean to. It wasn’t intentional okay?

@Blondsjon: purra minua.

:: sniff :: Yes…not too long ago… :: sniff sniff ::

Oh yeah and Sarcasm stole my girl. She was the first one I ever fell in love with, and Sarcasm just took her to his bed and banged her silly. What a jerk!

@gailcalled . . . kiusoitella

I’ve stolen a few girls from you, @PretentiousArtist. But c’mon scro, that’s not Fluther-related!

Let’s settle this outside.
@Lacroix there are people who are more interested in getting lurve and giving help.

@Lacroix : Really? That’s unfortunate… I’ve never come across such attitude here. Sorry.

@Blondesjon Mikään ei kuumempi kuin mies nukahtaa radiossa.

Only the mods. And I mean all of them.

Especially Auggie.

@AstroChuck Do not make me spank you again!

@Dog @Blondesjon:
Kivaa. Olemme kolmikon nyt.

Yes. Everyone treats me like an animal.

@gailcalled Tervetuloa Jon paisti! :)

Uh… okay my Finnish translator is not good.

@Blondesjon as handsome as you might be I am actually not interested in your “steak.”

Not that I’m aware of. But then again, I wouldn’t recognize an insult if it hit me over the head. Call me a moron, and I just sit here, grinning moronilly.

Are you kidding? I’m a mod… of course people have been mean to me.

Especially AstroChuck. I swear that kid hates me. :’)

<—- is the utterly mean and arrogant dickhead everyone is talking about, but not mentioning by name on here.

@Psychedelic_Zebra No, you have always been a gentleman to me.

@Psychedelic_Zebra Arrogance is bliss, DOHH!! that’s ignorance :p

@chyna hard to be mean to someone with such a sweet-looking avatar.

@Psychedelic_Zebra Awww, it’s just my avatar that makes you nice to me?

@Psychedelic_Zebra Definitely not you. I actually enjoy disagreeing with you, as it never gets nasty. ;)

@chyna that, and the personality I project upon you as having. You are always nice, and it’s hard to be a shithead to nice folks.

@casheroo thanks, that makes me feel better.

@Psychedelic_Zebra Is the one that calls me names. He even cyber punched me one time.
jk, he is awesome even though we disagree and have different point of views.

The first day I was on Fluther I posted a question that had been posted the week before. I thought it was a question that was really interesting, but a certain person left a really crappy answer, that made me feel horrible. I had no clue I should have done a search to see if the question had been asked recently! I didn’t like that person at all for a while, but now it’s someone that I really admire and they always have a good answer. That’s the only “bad” experience I’ve had and it wasn’t really that bad at all.

@All if ever I was mean to you, for whatever reason, under this name or my former name, (Evelyns_Pet_Zebra) let me take this opportunity to apologize sincerely for being a nasty asshole and to say, forgive me, for I was probably in a bad mood (which is no excuse) and I should have known better. I like Fluther and want it to be as fun as possible for everyone, no matter who they are.

@Psychedelic_Zebra For the record, you have never been mean to me at all under either name! And if you had been, I’d have forgiven you! :)

@Psychedelic_Zebra Aww…you’re forgiven… :D

@Psychedelic_Zebra Your are amazing. In a very good way. I see how you really are and I like what I see.

Not YET!

@Psychedelic_Zebra I don’t think you were mean, just…well…you said it. But I don’t hate ya.

Everyone has been so kind and welcoming to me. I love Fluther!

I’ll try my best to avoid the conversation.

Maybe it was because I was new… Someone left a snarky, sarcastic answer to one of my questions and then continued to post another question that further commented on the inferiority of my question. I was hurt, irrationally angry at a stranger. I considered writing them back an equally degrading comment. I was going to quit and leave the wonderful world of Fluther.

Then I realized I was giving a stranger way too much power. Let it go. Why should I care what this person thinks about me!?! They are a very involved member and I do take notice of them. I will probably never Lurve them but other than that I go on my own merry way enjoying so many special people.

And thanks for the question and the opportunity to air my crabbiness. Now I am really over it!

There is only one time I can recall being ganged up on by two people. It started off okay. Just the normal debate-like behavior. But then it became clear they were banning together against me. And it started getting to be downright rude and pretty immature. I walked away in the end. But it was hard. I don’t like letting people think they got the best of me!

First off, I’m not going to name any names, so don’t even ask, 100% of this is water under the bridge and I for the most part

I don’t think anyone has ever been “intentionally” mean to me. I had two very upsetting experiences here. The first time, well, I’ll preface this by saying there are some things I just don’t and won’t do, they are not in my character. One is shutting down dissent. As anyone who knows me knows well, yes, I like to win an argument, yes I will argue my point forever if necessary if I think I’m right, but I will NEVER try to shut someone up. I may use sarcasm to make my point and some may take that as insulting, but I don’t back away from a fight and I don’t seek to win a fight by default by making the other person give up (though some have given up because I am tenacious). But I had a couple people accuse me of doing exactly that, both of whom followed me on multiple threads. I became very upset about this and the mods got involved…I sent PMs to both people to make the peace, one made the peace with me, the other chose to ignore me.

The next thing I feel is important about me is my integrity…I don’t contradict myself, I don’t talk out of two sides of my face, if I make a mistake I own up to it…I am certainly not a hypocrite…I am steadfast in my beliefs, which I’m not afraid to share. Well, I was a bit taken aback and even a bit hurt when someone I respect and admire seemed to think something I said was hypocritical. It was very important to me that I not be misunderstood…but it seemed to me everything I tried to do to clarify, this person basically wanted to bust my balls and kept taking things out of context, misconstruing my intent, and was generally baiting me. Again, a second person jumped in on this and I kind of felt they were orchestrating a sort of good cop/bad cop on me. Then for about a week, every single board I went on, it seemed to me this person was coming onk, trying to show me up, to make me look like a hypocrite, and I didn’t appreciate it, I really thought it was mean spirited. A few days worth of frank PMs with both parties and we achieved the peace. I came to understand their motivations, and I think they got my point across to them, and once again it’s all cool.

So yes, about 4 people have treated me in a way I’d consider “mean” but I don’t think a single one of them actually meant to be “mean”, some times opinionated people rub each other the wrong way.

@dalepetrie if there is one thing you’ll get on Fluther, it’s people with opinions that may rub you the wrong way.

Mean? No.

One person made it a point to disagree with everything I said for a few days after I (nicely) pointed out something they overlooked in their answer. It was annoying, yet amusing, and ultimately not my problem.

I have been very comfortable being myself here from the very beginning and have found most people to be very nice. I like that the community will acknowledge my responses even if they don’t agree with or know me instead of making me feel invisible.

I once questioned the motives behind a question and the poster wrote “I know this is going to be moderated, but you really are a pretentious little bitch, aren’t you?”.
It was moderated. And I refuse to interact with this member anymore.
The thing is, he’s somebody people here seem to like. I don’t know why. His responses are usually rude.

@breedmitch Yikes! A pretentious bitch? Ouch. Rude.

Oh, I wish we could know whom everyone was referring to in this thread…that would be ever so much fun. :)

I have guesses about several of these…but I won’t reveal them. >.<

@DominicX – it might be fun now, but it would fuck this site up royally and get the whole question removed. Old wounds would re-open and it would hurt a lot of feelings, destroy a lot of trust and generally be an awful, awful idea.

Come to think of it, there have been a couple people mean to me on this site since I joined, but I figure they lack a decent sense of humor or are simply insecure. I’m not one to let those sorts of small minded people bug me. Life is too short to put up with cruel and stupid people.

@dalepetrie lol…yes, I know. I wasn’t expecting it to happen realistically and I wouldn’t want it to. All these comments just make me curious, that’s all.

I’ve had someone try to annoy me, I suppose.
Some people take this website too seriously. Either way.. its a waste of time for people to be snotty. It only makes them look bad.. ;)

Once theres drama between someone and I, they’re basically dead to me. Might be childish, but it gets the job done haha

Ooh. The only story I’m really curious about is @breedmitch‘s . I’m going to be up all night, trying to think of all the popular jerks.

fuck all of you people

Since joining fluther, i am actually very surprised that there isn’t more fighting and arguing. On most forums i visit and post on there is always a lot of drama or there is heavy moderation to keep it minimal but i have noticed here that there isn’t a lot of that going on, at first i thought there had to be some deleting going on by the mobs, but unless im missing something there hasn’t. It’s a great place, and your going to have sarcasm and different opinions anywhere you go…

@OutOfTheBlue if a quip is removed you will see “Removed by Fluther Moderators” instead of text in the quip. Repeated offenses often will ban the member so the members remaining are the awesome ones.

Also note that the membership is a key part of the moderation. Each post and question has a flag on it to bring it to the attention of the moderation staff.

@OutOfTheBlue There’s not a lot of fighting because Fluther users almost all share the same general leanings. There was a question a few weeks ago asking people their political leanings, only one person admitted to being conservative. People here generally disagree on very minor ideas.

@OutOfTheBlue . . . go. quickly. while you still can.

@Sarcasm You should see some of the arguments I have had between Christians and Atheists, and over whether making jokes about Sarah Palin is cool.

@OutOfTheBlue what @Blondesjon said, really, I’m not kidding. Things will eventually get ugly around here. Ugly as a mud fence on wash day.

No.

Hey @mattbrowne, you suck! Just didn’t want you to feel left out. ;)

@mattbrowne

That’s because youre likeable and rational and don’t seem to let anything bother you. I wish more people were like that…

@tinyfaery and @DominicX – Thanks for your comments! Well, actually at the very beginning when wis.dm was shutting down I had one negative encounter with a user called dynamicduo. I wouldn’t call it mean, but I was quite upset. She’s very smart and knowledgeable. On wis.dm a few folks attacked me on a personal level, guys like HoobaDooba, but everyone knew those guys were a bit crazy, thinking the world is 6000 years old and so forth. So I never took this seriously. I also believe that the moderated approach on Fluther makes a difference. I appreciate the model.

People are mean once in a while, but they don’t mean it. They are just trying to be funny or sarcastic… like this: @Blondesjon fuck you too.

this ^^ fucker gets it.

@Narl & @Blondesjon Play nice. :)

@chyna We are playing nice. We get each other.

@Blondesjon is all about “getting.”

@Narl: I love your avatar. Did you design it?