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Jeruba's avatar

What cooking experience has made you say "I'll never do that again"?

Asked by Jeruba (49497points) 2 weeks ago

I tried to make polenta once. It wasn’t meant as a test of my family’s loyalty—or endurance—but man. I can’t even remember now what the problem was, and that’s okay with me.

Sugar cookies: I said I’d try again when I’d forgotten the last disaster. Thirty-two years and counting.

Prime rib for a holiday meal, so underdone that I felt like it ought to be laid in a coffin. It was six months before I could face red meat again, and I’d still rather have oatmeal.

Turkey soup from a whole carcass, simmered four hours with lots of nice vegetables. Straining out all those little bones, ye gods. All I could think about was the poor fellow’s family and friends and how sad it all was. I threw the whole thing out.

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20 Answers

Demosthenes's avatar

Polenta is horrible. The last time I attempted to make it, it failed epically, even though I was using the same corn meal I’ve always used (it never solidified). Tried it three times and it failed each time. I probably will not bother again.

canidmajor's avatar

A loooooong time ago, in my hardcore vegetarian days (as near to vegan as dammit) I attempted to make seitan for a holiday meal. It took forever, had a LOT of weird steps to follow, and the resulting mess was gluey and inedible. It was the late 70s and I still gag a little just thinking about it.

It was a very rice-y Thanksgiving.

janbb's avatar

When we were younger and poorer, I made about four pounds of ground meat into chili. However, instead of chili powder, I’d put cinnamon in instead. We were poor – we ate our way through it all winter.

Once in recent years, I baked a blueberry pie from frozen which I sometimes do. Misremembering the right temp. I put it in the oven at 450 and burnt the crust to char. Filling was good though.

Remind me to tell the story of moose turd pie that became a family joke sometime.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I made spicy potatoes when I was a child. I didn’t have a recipe. I put a little bit of everything including a generous amount of nutmeg. Was gross.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Funny. I just posted this on Facebook.
When I was in high school my mom kept little steak filets on hand. I decided to fry one up after school one day.
I knew to get the frying pan nice and hot first to put that sear on the steak.
It all went bad very quickly when the vegetable I used turned into Karo syrup. OoOoOo

Jeruba's avatar

^^ Did you mean vegetable oil?

I was trying to think what vegetable could have turned into syrup, and all I came up with was okra.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Can’t say “never do that again”, Guess I’ve been lucky.

My mom had a chicken; she had to boil for four and half hours, instead 90 minutes. Still tough it was during WWII before I was born.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

We tried cauliflower pizza today…..
Never again.

I love my grandmother but I’ll never let her cook for me again. She is losing her mind. five years ago or so she made us a casserole with rice, shrimp, runny eggs and bisquick. My poor wife gave me a look of horror yet she is such a trooper she smiled and had some and thanked her for it. God it was so gross. Unimaginable. Fifteen years ago she was the best cook I knew.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Yes. I meant vegetable oil. I just didn’t read the lable. I went with what it looked like. They’re the same color and consistency.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

When I became an adult I hosted my family’s thanksgiving dinner. No one showed up. So I quartered the turkey and covered with bbq sauce and ate it and a large amount of mashed potatoes and creamed corn. Was perfect. My father, who I was living with, didn’t show up. I think my family took of to another family meal, and I wasn’t invited. I avoid family meals on my fathers side. Moms meals I will definantly go to.

JLeslie's avatar

Every time I make Mexican finger food for 4 or more people I say never again. It takes forever. Sopes, quesadillas, watching over multiple pan fulls of them is a lot of time at the stove. If it’s just for my husband and me it’s fine, but four or more people and it all takes forever.

I would love to never roast a whole turkey again, but I get stuck doing it every so often. I’m just not very good at it. The long cooking time and making sure it’s cooked through is aggravating to me.

By the way the polenta already prepared that I’d sold in a cylinder shape is awesome. I slice it in rounds and fry in a little oil, or I cut it in cubes spray a little oil and bake. Sometimes I toss the cubes in shredded fresh Parmesan and then bake.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Goose.
Greasy and not like poultry, but like red meat inside..ugh!

gorillapaws's avatar

When I was very young, my younger sister and I decided to bake a tart together. She had done this successfully many times before and knew the recipe by heart. I suggested that we substituted the flour with additional sugar. After extracting the charred mess from the oven, I learned the valuable lesson that flour is actually important in a dessert, despite not adding to the sweetness of the dish.

johnpowell's avatar

Croissants… One of my favorite foods but I lack every physical and mental capacity needed to actually make them from scratch.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Asparagus soup with no added flavor to keep it healthy

gorillapaws's avatar

Another one: using ground turkey with 1% fat content to make burgers. Trust me—don’t do it.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Ever heard of a turducken? I did that with pies and cake. Three seperate pies, each baked in a cake, then layered and frosted/ decorated. A ton of work but it was a Christmas idea for the family and they loved it. Never again unless I’m paid.

ucme's avatar

We hired a short order cook as our chef once.
Never pay a dwarf to fix your meals.

Love_my_doggie's avatar

Raise your hand if you’ve ever used a food processor to make mashed potatoes!

The mechanism is much too aggressive and will damage the potatoes’ cell walls. The result is a gluey, gelatinous mess that’s soupy and unappetizing. Yes, I made this mistake…only once.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Had the grandkids overnight, finally. Per request I made French Toast.
It was awful. The only thing I can figure is I made it with a multigrain bread. Ususally I use a white bread or, better yet, sliced French Bread. Bletch.

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