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ucme's avatar

Have you actively encouraged anyone you know to become an active member of Fluther?

Asked by ucme (39710 points ) April 17th, 2014

I know a lot here are fiercely protective of both the site & their anonymity, but with ever dwindling member participation, promoting the site via friends/family could, at least in theory, give a much needed boost to the jelly population.
Alas, despite my best efforts at persuasion, no one in my world would touch this place with a bargepole, I tried.

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114 Answers

janbb's avatar

Not actively. :-)

Blondesjon's avatar

No.

Most everybody I know wouldn’t get it.

poofandmook's avatar

No.

1) I want my privacy to ask questions about people I know without them ever finding out. Of course I am slightly terrified of someone googling “poofandmook” and finding some of the stuff I’ve written here.

2) I have a love/hate relationship with this site myself.

talljasperman's avatar

Yes… my mom.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

I got a few friends to join Askville, but they lost interest very quickly, so here I haven’t even bothered.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Yes…my fiancé. He gave it a week before closing his account. It wasn’t his cup of tea. He understands why I am still a member.

What I learned from recommending another website to those dear to me (to co-workers) was that many don’t get it. They are accustomed to physical and visual interaction. The virtual world isn’t a substitute for them. For some, they view it as a farce.

Judi's avatar

I’ve told my kids about it but they don’t come here. I got my son to answer a question about audio equipment once since he was the pro audio manager at Guitar Center.
Mostly, you guys help me deal with stuff IRL so I would rather not have my IRL peeps participate as they might recognize themselves in my questions or responses.

Seek's avatar

My husband occasionally answers questions over my shoulder. All such answers I attribute to him. But he’s not interested in membership. He doesn’t quite get the cyberspace friendship thing.

I’m thinking about recommending the site on a Facebook group I am part of. Might have a nice new influx of people who are into the online discussion thing.

Eggie's avatar

Yes I did, once…but the person didn’t stick with it

zenvelo's avatar

I’ve mentioned it to a couple of friends, usually when I mention a particular thread and some of the back and forth. But not actively, and not that often.

ucme's avatar

This was one of those questions where I already anticipated the majority of answers would be in the negative. It’s been long established that the majority of users either don’t want their real world crashing the Fluther party, or hold little hope for their friends/family ever “getting” the place.
Which is fine, bit of a shame though, increasing traffic not as easy as it may appear.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I recommended it to one friend. She joined and was driven away within a month by people calling her a troll. It was disheartening. I can’t really explain it, but the jellies at that time were not welcoming at all.

Seek's avatar

OK, so it’s actually quite hard to link this discussion forum in another discussion forum because all the questions that these people would have been interested in aren’t being asked anymore.

It’s really hard to rally people around “would you rather” and china patterns.

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t know why I read the Q as discouraged. I have encouraged a few people to be on fluther. As far as I know none of them are active here. A few did post an answer or two a long while back.

Adagio's avatar

No, I don’t think it would be any of my friends’ cup of tea somehow.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@Seek I also asked a question about voter ID laws, you know. But since people were complaining about the dearth of questions, I figured I’d go for two in a day.

Seek's avatar

My other discussion forum is a social group for atheists and people questioning their faith. A few of them might get into voter ID stuff – I was trying to find a place to squeeze that one in, actually – but… y’know.

jerv's avatar

My wife makes an occasional appearance, and my buddy often pounces on computer and car questions, but most of the people I know are either anti-social, or just find the internet useless.

Cruiser's avatar

4.5 years ago I did wave the “charge” flag to Fluther when Answer Bag bit the big one and 50 or more of us came here…that was then and I can count on 4 fingers who is left from that migration. :(

Mimishu1995's avatar

NO! NO! AND NO!

I’ve already given the reason on another thread similar to this, but now I’ll say again with some update :)
1. Nobody would be interested even if I told them. The only social site people here use is Facebook. And to ask questions, people have Yahoo! Answer, Ask.fm and other forums all of which I find completely boring.
2. I want to hide my true self! I have already stated in one thread that people get freaked out by my true personality in real life. I just want a place where I don’t have to suppress my thought anymore.
3. I have mentioned too many “special” people and shared too many “sensitive” secret here already. If those secret got leaked, or those special people knew I was talking about them, I would be in great danger. Remember, my living environment shares some similar elements to that of Hitler.
4. There are things too sensitive or controversial to talk with people I know in real life, but I really have to talk. I want a place for me to freely talk.

So, if I really, really had to invite someone here, I would choose a person who has absolutely nothing to do with my real life’s interaction, a complete stranger in all sense!

Sometimes I feel like a mafioso when it comes to recommending this site :p

ibstubro's avatar

B’god, I tried. I tried to bring new members to Fluther like a thirsty horse to water. Few of them drank.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Hah, it seems that I’m too protective of my anonymity here…

Mimishu1995's avatar

@ibstubro you really try to get more members? That never happens to me. I even have to pretend I’m using Facebook or I accidentally come here because of Google when anyone asks :)

Coloma's avatar

No. I talk about a “discussion” forum I go to, but only my daughter is a member and she is too busy and is never here. I don’t have anything to hide here, but, I like this being my very “own” hangout place.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Coloma I like this being my very “own” hangout place

That’s the very reason I come here too :) The only difference is that I don’t want anyone else to come here and spoil my fun.

And by the way, have you seen the word mafioso I wrote? :P

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake I recommended it to one friend. She joined and was driven away within a month by people calling her a troll. It was disheartening. I can’t really explain it, but the jellies at that time were not welcoming at all.
Ding, ding, ding! Winner, winner chicken dinner! Can’t say we have seen eye to eye, but I back that.

Coloma's avatar

No, what..explain?

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Coloma Heh! Just learned that word yesterday, somewhere I forgot :)

Literally means a Mafia member :p

Yeah! I’m a Fluther mafioso!

Coloma's avatar

Machine gun Mimishu. haha

stanleybmanly's avatar

This is at least the second time this question has been asked. And I was just as surprised this time as last, because it never occurs to me to mention Fluther in conversation or otherwise. I wonder why that is.

stanleybmanly's avatar

The attrition rate here is understandable. To visit here with consistency can soak up an inordinate amount of time. When I linger here, I am acutely aware that I’m merely trying to avoid the tedium of work.

kevbo's avatar

Never and that’s been a good thing. Mine were never “friend” discussions.

rojo's avatar

No. I have not. I don’t want to share you guys with anyone else.

is that bad?

Symbeline's avatar

I tried before, but as I’ve already explained a few times, while most people I know understand English, this is a French town, and they’re not fluent with it.
I got one friend to join, but he was from Answerbag, doesn’t really count for this question.

ucme's avatar

@Cruiser Yeah, I remain one of the answerbag refugees, been here well over four years & yet, according to someone’s meaningless list of “active” members… :D
@stanleybmanly Don’t know why you’d be surprised, not like the question is aimed at you personally.

Cheers folks, good stuff.

wildpotato's avatar

I got my fiance to join and rack up a few thousand lurve back in my early Fluther honeymoon days, but we discovered he is among those less fond of internet interaction. He verbally answers some questions I refer to him, which I note on my Fluther answer.

I have mentioned Fluther to two or three of my best friends. One had already heard of it, checked it out, and decided not to participate, and the others were not spurred to investigate.

Smitha's avatar

Like @SQUEEKY2 I too had asked my fellow Askvillians to join this site, they joined and responded for a couple of months, then just left.

ibstubro's avatar

Yes, @Mimishu1995, I could name ½ a dozen active members that I brought here. People from other on-line venues.

Not all Askvillians came and left, @Smitha. You, me, Squeek, Jonesn, Juels, Stanley…a good number of the current regulars on Fluther are Askville refugees. I know because I tried to be the good shepherd in the beginning, and I’m proud of the number that stayed.

Smitha's avatar

@ibstubro I meant the people whom I had invited.BTW how did I come here?

Mimishu1995's avatar

Hey! Nobody from Yahoo! Answer?

Seek's avatar

That place is a cesspool.

ibstubro's avatar

Oh, sorry none of your invite-ees worked out, @Smitha. I did the volume inviting, so some of mine were bound to pan out. If they had given us a little more notice, I probably would have had dozens more new jellies.

Even if old Askvillers found there way here on their own, I did everything in my power to make them feel welcome and ease the transition. Sometimes even regardless of my own personal feelings about a member. Reasonable politeness is my only stipulation. :)

Judi's avatar

@ibstubro and @Smitha , I was an askvillan refugee back on 2008. It was to hostile over there for me back then.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Mimishu1995 Hey! Nobody from Yahoo! Answer?
I was there way back when they discovered fire, then went to AB, then here. The call to go back still beckons me, I am curious if I will find the same ”love” there as here. At very least I can show off all the stab wounds I got here.

Blondesjon's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central . . . Your Fluther stigmata?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Blondesjon They were not mine gladly, but they ended up with me, that….and the scars as evidence thereof

hearkat's avatar

@Mimishu1995 – I was on Yahoo! Answers when it was in Beta, I guess it was 2005–6? Once it opened to the public, the quality diminished significantly. I didn’t seek out any other Q&A sites then, but I came across Fluther as a web-app for the new mobile web when the iPhone first came out in the summer of 2007.

My fiancé has an account and he’s answered a few Questions, but he hasn’t gotten hooked just yet. I got a couple friends from another site to join years ago, but I guess it didn’t click with them, either. I think there’s a certain personality trait that Q&A sites seem to attract.

zenzen's avatar

Nope.

Precious. I keep it all to myself.

jerv's avatar

@Mimishu1995 I was on Yahoo Answers… for about 5 minutes. I have nothing in common with them. You know you “friends” who think you are stupid and wrong for liking mysteries instead of swooning over Justin Bieber? Take them, reduce their literacy by half and other cognitive skills by 75%, and you’ll have what Yahoo Answers would call “Genius”. As I am not an adolescent, nor did I intellectually stagnate around fourth grade, I just didn’t think it worth sticking around long enough to make an account. I’ve checked in a few times to see if it’s just a one-shot thing, but I have yet to ever see an answer there that is either correct or helpful.

@Hypocrisy_Central Every personal interaction you experience has a common element. When you consistently get treated a certain way, it helps to take a step back and figure out what that common element is that keeps causing hate and discontent.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@hearkat I was on Yahoo! Answers when it was in Beta, I guess it was 2005–6? Once it opened to the public, the quality diminished significantly.

Guess Y!A had to reduce the quality to match the public’s “need” ~

Just kidding. That sounds strange that the quality dropped after it came into use. Have any idea why?

@jerv You know you “friends” who think you are stupid and wrong for liking mysteries instead of swooning over Justin Bieber?

Swooning over Jessica and Taeyeon from the band SNSD, to be exact :D

Take them, reduce their literacy by half and other cognitive skills by 75%, and you’ll have what Yahoo Answers would call “Genius”

I used to see a question asking about the difference between the Cuban revolution and the African revolution, and the best answer was: “The Cuban were white and the African were black” Haha! So clever! Why can’t I see it? Master, You are my true teacher!

jerv's avatar

“That sounds strange that the quality dropped after it came into use. Have any idea why?”

Here is why

Mimishu1995's avatar

@jerv Yeah, stupid, full of shit, and fucking nut! Haha!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@jerv When youconsistently get treated a certain way, it helps to take a step back and figure out what that common element is that keeps causing hate and discontent.
Well, let’s see, did I? Oh, yes, I did take a step back and look. Was I ever ill; treated on AB? Ummm…can’t really recall, and certainly not anything systemic, maybe one or two people and limited to a specific thread. Did it happen on YA? Nah…can’t recall there either. In real life? Nope….so there is a constant, just not the one you are promoting.

jerv's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central I seem to recall you inciting a bit of unrest at AB, though mostly among the more intelligent people there; not enough to be considered a troublemaker, but enough to be memorable. But AB was like combining Fluther (a relatively small group of mostly average-or-above people) with YA (a sea of mouth-breathers), so any animosity was diluted by a large wave of neutrality. Here at Fluther, there is no dilution, so things are a bit more obvious here due to a lack of slackjawed apathy.

I am pretty constant. I’m not really any different here than I was at AB, or than I am face-to-face. That also makes me a little unpopular in certain circles, notably uber-Conservatives and Apple fanatics. Of course, I have managed to somewhat control how I present myself well enough that I can usually avoid causing serious unrest while still remaining true to myself and sticking to my guns.

As for you,, you’re pretty much the same as I remember. I just didn’t pay you much mind back on AB since it was a larger community.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@jerv I am pretty constant. I’m not really any different here than I was at AB, or than I am face-to-face. That also makes me a little unpopular in certain circles, notably uber-Conservatives and Apple fanatics.
Well, there you go. Just as you are not seen as an absolute plus in some circles based off what you believe and how, it is the same here. I am who I was then, though because those sites did not tout themselves has being higher thinking and more substantive I asked more questions of pure fluff, because I had more questions I could ask as well. Based off what this site tries to be, at least from my take on it, it is supposed to be a place where you get your mind sharpened and the thinking cogs greased. When on tries to do that, doesn’t seem to work, I guess because if the cog you try to grease is busted, rusted, or fouled no one wants it pointed out. It is all good I guess, I just remind myself of those lyrics:

In the high school halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out

In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out

One day because I am me and not twisting myself to be a fake shadow of who I am might get me bounced, that might be incentive to reinvent the wheel better, who knows.

jerv's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Well, given that a lot of your things tend to touch on people’s morality, you’re going to get a lot of flak, especially from those of us who have had issues with religious zealots in the past and have a few still-raw nerves over it. When you tap-dance on people’s hot buttons, it never ends well.

However, I think we’ve taken this thread off the rails long enough. Let us move on to a new digression… or possibly even swerve back on-topic. Not trying to shut you down, just not up for continuing that conversation here.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

^ Well, given that a lot of your things tend to touch on people’s morality, you’re going to get a lot of flak, especially from those of us who have had issues with religious zealots in the past and have a few still-raw nerves over it.
First of all, if they feel their morality is intact nothing I would say or do would derail that. No one can derail my morality because it is solid. Second, how does morality go with zealots (which is all conjecture and opinion), when this place seem to cleave one from the other; at least from the passive observer? Anyone can say any number of things and it may go against someone’s personal peculiarities.

When you tap-dance on people’s hot buttons, it never ends well.
So, we come back to the core issue, you can’t really be free here or say freely what you want less it not end well because you are not speaking the speak others want you to speak.

Let us move on to a new digression… or possibly even swerve back on-topic. Not trying to shut you down, just not up for continuing that conversation here.
Yes, I want to hear more about the experiences others had of friends not staying or not even entering, there has to be a reason for that, a place as great as this should have members popping out of the band width. They should try to log on and be told the servers are at their limits.

ibstubro's avatar

I did have one friend from Askville refuse to join because she was a religious Republican and had seen others like herself mistreated here. I think of her often, and have considered asking her again about joining, as I feel like that seeming abuse has been addressed here on Fluther. I believe she would be happy here, now.

Blondesjon's avatar

When you tap-dance on people’s hot buttons, it never ends well.
So, we come back to the core issue, you can’t really be free here or say freely what you want less it not end well because you are not speaking the speak others want you to speak.

That is the text-book definition of circular logic.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@ibstubro I did have one friend from Askville refuse to join because she was a religious Republican and had seen others like herself mistreated here.
By golly, that was the problem, she was a religious Republican, had she switch and became a liberal atheist Democrat, the red carpet would have been rolled out for her. ~~~ LOL LOL

@Blondesjon That is the text-book definition of circular logic.
It was the only way to avoid saying self-delusional hypocrisy. Oops now I said it, someone has gotten offended.

hearkat's avatar

@Seek: I bookmarked that page yesterday!

jerv's avatar

@Blondesjon You’re not the only one with freedom of speech, though I think it’s more accurate to say that freedom is self-limiting simply because others have the same freedom you do. You have the right to share any opinion you want, and I have the freedom to disagree. If you seek to deprive me of that right, then you’re either a hypocrite, or you must forfeit your own freedom in order to have a fair society.

@Hypocrisy_Central Many of the issues people have with faith extend to Atheists, though it seems we have a lot of Agnostics and a smattering of Theists that have the tact to keep their religion to themselves. Religion really is like a penis; something that shouldn’t be proudly displayed in public, nor shoved down people’s throats. As for politics, many here would still be considered Conservative outside the US, so that’s a bit skewed. Remember, America has plenty of people that think Rush Limbaugh and Michelle Bachmann are Liberals :/

SavoirFaire's avatar

@ibstubro Religious people are not abused here.* They are, however, challenged quite frequently—and many religious people cannot tell the difference between being challenged and being insulted. And because they often cannot tell the difference, they sometimes insult non-religious people in return and then are flabbergasted when they get called out for it (since as far as they can tell, they just returned like for like).

Fortunately, Fluther has several examples of religious people who do not suffer from this problem—which is not, after all, limited to the religious. Those jellies either stay out of the religious discussion altogether or conduct themselves with grace and poise while explaining their views. The others either leave or acquire a gigantic martyr complex.


——————————
* This isn’t to say that there are no examples of a religious person being abused, but only to say that there is not some pernicious trend of abusing them. Members from just about every group represented on Fluther have been abused at some point—sometimes by visiting trolls, sometimes by jellies who are feeling rambunctious—including members of the more populous groups. So while I understand why some people might not feel like Fluther is a particularly welcoming place for religious people, I would not say it is because they are abused. For the most part, it is because they are experiencing what it is like to be in the religious minority for the first time in their lives.

ibstubro's avatar

@SavoirFaire I was relating a personal experience from a couple of years ago where a personal acquaintance of mine thought they would not fit on Fluther.

Ha! you’re caught in your own conceit?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@jerv Many of the issues people have with faith extend to Atheists, though it seems we have a lot of Agnostics and a smattering of Theists that have the tact to keep their religion to themselves.
Let’s flip the script on that, does that mean that atheist and agnostics should have the tact to keep their beliefs to themselves, just to keep it all fair and equal?

Religion really is like a penis; something that shouldn’t be proudly displayed in public, nor shoved down people’s throats.
Weather someone feels it is shoved down their throat depends on how they want to view it. Again, flipping the script on that I guess two gay guys should refrain from sitting on a park bench sucking face because they should have the good sense to factor in someone could see what they are doing as obscene as seeing a penis and wait until they are in a private area to do it; you would not go that far, I bet.

@SavoirFaire Religious people are not abused here. They are, however, challenged quite frequently—and many religious people cannot tell the difference between being challenged and being insulted.
Again, flip the script on that, it isn’t like some atheist don’t get bent when you challenge them on what they believe; they cry someone is trying to be holier than thou on them, rather than defending their position, if they can, civilly and without insulting anyone. I would say there are a lot of atheist who have not been genuinely insulted or abused here but take certain concepts, comments, and phrases that way.

Seek's avatar

Was that just a three-paragraph “I know you are but what am I?”

jerv's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Don’t toss matches into gasoline then complain that you got burned. While you are correct, there are all non-pushy ways to be a Theist that won’t offend nearly as many people. And I feel the same way about same-sex couples sucking face as I do about opposite-sex couples making out; I don’t want to see a guy and a girl tongue-wrestling in public either.

Also bear in mind that certain groups have bad histories. If you have accepted Christ as your savior, you belong to one of those groups. In the eyes of some, that puts you right up there with the KKK already, while others may automatically judge you as a rabble-rousing hypocrite, so you can expect a little animosity. In other words, theists are paying the price for the actions of others as their failure to denounce Galileo’s excommunication, the Spanish Inquisition, the chronic pedophilia coverups, and WBC pickets makes them guilty by virtue of complicity.

@Seek Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose :/

Seek's avatar

* googles * ....... Ah. Yep.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@ibstubro I know what you were doing. I was just pointing out that the perception is false. No conceit to get caught up in.

@Hypocrisy_Central No need to flip the script. Assuming you bothered to read the entire thing, surely you noticed the following statement: “Fluther has several examples of religious people who do not suffer from this problem—which is not, after all, limited to the religious.” I have italicized the important part for you. As you can see, then, I never denied that the problem goes both ways (even if it is more prevalent on one side of the debate).

livelaughlove21's avatar

Absolutely not, and I never would. Nothing to do with being protective of the site or any delusion of anonymity, either.

hearkat's avatar

Two Rush quotes in one thread!

Seek's avatar

There – first attempt at plugging Fluther in atheist discussion group.

ucme's avatar

Well, Fluther me sideways, this went places only a ferret should…which is nice.

Kardamom's avatar

No, I couldn’t be active on this site if people that I knew IRL were on here too. I often use my real life experiences to illustrate things. Most of the real people would probably not be too thrilled, because they would recognize themselves and think it was an invasion of their privacy, which it would be, but because they’re not on here, no one else knows who they are, so my stories are just “stories.”

Seek's avatar

So, I’ve changed my name, removed the answer panel from my public profile, and have manually removed all of my past questions from view.

I now feel moderately comfortable sharing Fluther with my new friends and my family. Just… no one let on anything I’ve said about them. ^_^

hug_of_war's avatar

I’ve revealed too much of myself here. No one outside of my family knows I have asperger’s and that’s how I like it. I also have talked about the struggles of low vision, and I generally act like it doesn’t bother me that I’m dependant on others for transportation, when it really sucks. This is one of the few places in my life where I can be honest about those things, where I don’t have to act like it’s no big deal. I need this to be a safe place for me, because I don’t have a safe place IRL.

ibstubro's avatar

But, there is no “false perception”, @SavoirFaire. Her perception was that she was unwelcome. She had read the posts on Fluther extensively, and she perceived that she was not welcome at that time as a religious Republican. I tended to agree. (She had an opinion on her, which I got a kick out of and we could use.)

This, from another thread. Well thought of author that would have been hounded here at Fluther at one time. Glad that time has passed.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@ibstubro Feeling unwelcome is different from being unwelcome. To say that she would have been unwelcome is to make a claim about the attitudes of all the jellies who were active at that time. I don’t think there is sufficient evidence to make the claim that she would have been unwelcome. All there is evidence of is the fact that she would have had her opinion challenged (which is a very good thing to experience, uncomfortable as some might find it). As for Amir Aczel, I think he would still be hounded today—if by “hounded” you mean “dogged with questions and countervailing arguments.” I don’t think there was ever a time, however, that he would have been abused or harassed (no matter what the self-made martyrs might say to the contrary).

gailcalled's avatar

I tried to recruit some friends and family in the very early days; a few of them joined and entered into things for a while but then dropped out. It didn’t catch their particular fancy.

ibstubro's avatar

I joined Fluther, participated for a while, then dropped out as is my personality pattern, @SavoirFaire When I next rejoined I was told (in nearly so many words), that only an idiot would another person being a theist, much less be a theist themselves. I lasted about 2 days. I’m agnostic, personally, but that doesn’t mean my mind is closed or that I can’t accept people finding comfort in their religion.

At one time Fluther became a place of nearly constant religious baiting questions where any pro-theist responses were taken as an opportunity to attack the faith of the responder. That’s just wrong on a site such as this, in my opinion. Shouldn’t we discourage anyone trying to constantly proselytize on Fluther, from lack of religion to any single sect?

It seems to me that there is something desperate and slightly unseemly in being so anti-God.

But to your comment, I had felt unwelcome at Fluther, as an open minded agnostic. She had been following a number of threads here and felt she would not be welcome/happy/comfortable here, and I had to agree to a large extent. She’s the type that easily rises to the bait, and has the strength of her convictions. Funny that we because great friends on Askville because she understood that if she and I were on opposite sides of the fence, it was because we disagreed, not that I was determined to disagree with anything she said because of some political or religious view she held. That was not the case with many there, and, at one time, not the case with many here.

Judi's avatar

As a theist I got into a few scruffs. Not because I was trying to convince anyone to believe the way I do but because a few evangelical atheists kept pushing. Eventually I stopped answering religious questions. Ocasionally I might chime in but often quickly quit following. If people don’t find my opinion valuable they can disregard it. I’m to old to get into a centuries old fighting match on an internet site.

gailcalled's avatar

As an atheist, I have gotten into no scuffles. As a language purist, I have. Once more, into the fray.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@jerv While you are correct, there are all non-pushy ways to be a Theist that won’t offend nearly as many people.
As there are non-pushy way to be ungodly, if you want to live as though man is the Supreme Being in the universe

.Also bear in mind that certain groups have bad histories.
Bear in mind, it is not always those who have God either.

@ibstubro This, from another thread. Well thought of author that would have been hounded here at Fluther at one time. Glad that time has passed.
Why would he not be hounded today? What he suggest is that man is not the Supreme Being of the universe, that just can’t stand to a species of people that don’t want to share the thrown, or even be under the authority of anyone but themselves; that they can live as they please, and do what is pleasurable and gratifying for them.

@SavoirFaire Assuming you bothered to read the entire thing, surely you noticed the following statement: “Fluther has several examples of religious people who do not suffer from this problem—which is not, after all, limited to the religious.” I have italicized the important part for you. As you can see, then, I never denied that the problem goes both ways (even if it is more prevalent on one side of the debate).
I may have missed or not quite understood that. Thanks for clearing it up; one reason you stand high among many Jellies.

As for your response to @ibstubro that said Feeling unwelcome is different from being unwelcome. To say that she would have beenunwelcome is to make a claim about the attitudes of all the jellies who were active at that time. I don’t think there is sufficient evidence to make the claim that she would have been unwelcome. if you are in a particular nationality, and I will extend that to sexual group, not everyone has to claim they don’t welcome your presence for you to get the idea that, that school, neighborhood, workplace etc. would be happier if you were not there. Even if there were 3 people out of 50 that didn’t mind, if the majority doesn’t rebuke the more vocal members who say things outright or underhanded they can very well be seen as agreeing but not saying so. I have been places where no one come out with the ‘N’ word but by the comments it was clear most if not all did not care to have minorities associating with them.

flutherother's avatar

I very rarely even mention Fluther to anyone in the real world. It is my own secret vice.

ibstubro's avatar

There is a distinct difference between hounding and challenging. To me, hounding is relentless repetition of a differing point of view, and challenging is a thoughtful exchange of ideas. Not all discussion is created equal, @Hypocrisy_Central, and it’s been a long time since I seen anyone hounded on Fluther.

downtide's avatar

I have known @anniereborn online for several years, and one day I mentioned Fluther to her, with the intention of actively encouraging her. In the end though, I didn’t need to encourage much and she became an active member without much persuasion from me.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@downtide Congratulation!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@ibstubro [...and it’s been a long time since I seen anyone hounded on Fluther
And the lions tell the gazelles that running is good for them, that is why they are chased at the watering hole, not that they should be dinner.

ibstubro's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central…and if you work to keep the hate alive, the wound open, long enough, surely your feelings will he hurt again. You seem so disappointed that you’re unable to fire up any serious flame wars anymore that I’m doubting your intentions. 20,000+ lurve, and you mention nearly daily that you’re not being picked on unfairly. Your masochism is taking on sadistic qualities, and quite frankly it’s boring bordering on annoying.

In my opinion.

jerv's avatar

@ibstubro Like I said, plus ça change….

ibstubro's avatar

@jerv Like I said, plus ça change….
And the ant eats the body of the grasshopper after the spring thaw and nourishes the grasshopper so couldn’t it be said that the grasshopper did, indeed live on as long as the ant was alive through the spring on into summer and perhaps even longer? If the ant was, indeed eaten by an elephant and nourished said elephant then would not the ant and, therefor perhaps the grasshopper, live on?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@ibstubro […and if you work to keep the hate alive, the wound open, long enough, surely your feelings will he hurt again.
<YAWN> Let’s see if we can make any sense of this poppycock. By your words and phase used here seems to me I am not the one festering in hate. Take no fear, you are hardly in solo company.

You seem so disappointed that you’re unable to fire up any serious flame wars anymore that I’m doubting your intentions.
News flash Jackson, I never tried that is why you can’t find any.

Your masochism is taking on sadistic qualities, and quite frankly it’s boring bordering on annoying. Nah, I have none of those qualities, Oh snap! you are wrong again. There are qualities you seem to parade but I am too much of a gentleman to bust you with them. If I am boring to you, you are a big boy, you can do something about it, no one has a gun to your head making you come to my comments or questions, I certainly don’t waste, go looking for yours.

jerv's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central The problem with small communities is that everyone crosses paths with everyone, especially if there are any shared interests.

livelaughlove21's avatar

…I am too much of a gentleman….

Psht!

rojo's avatar

“It’s a small town Alfred. Everyone knows were everyone lives” Bard

turtlesandbox's avatar

Once and she wasn’t interested. She had better things to do with her free time.

ibstubro's avatar

On the contrary, I think you are often a valuable member of Fluther, @Hypocrisy_Central. It’s just the constant drumbeat (Take no fear, you are hardly in solo company.) of “Oh, poor pitiful me!” that I’m taking issue with.

It’s rare that you are able to make a post that doesn’t mention how abused you are. Having a different opinion or offering advice is not abuse. It’s human discourse.

I simply think that by constantly mentioning how ”put upon” you have been in the past, you are asking for it in the future. Live in the here and now?

livelaughlove21's avatar

Yes, yes, yes. It’s like you want to be the victim, @Hypocrisy_Central – the constant disclaimers and little comments about what you “can’t” say and what abuse you’ve endured here because of this type of question or that. What exactly is the point of it all? What are you wanting? Just ask the questions you want to ask, say what you want to say, and everyone here will do the same, as we should. Having an unpopular point of view doesn’t mean you’re exempt from being treated the same as everyone else. If the most popular jelly here said the same things you say, they’d get the same reaction, so taking it as a personal affront when people disagree with you is just being whiny.

Some things are meant as a personal affront (ahem), but every comment that contradicts what you believe is not an insult toward you. Telling people to just ignore your questions if they don’t agree? You know damn well that’s not how the Internet works. Saying people are only commenting on your question and not really answering it? It’s just a reason to complain about people disagreeing with you. Cut it out. If they can ignore your questions, you can ignore their answers…and you don’t, so why should they? You obviously have thick skin, because you wouldn’t be here otherwise (the same can be said for many of us), but the pity party is just drawing more and more attention to you in a negative light.

No disclaimers or little “redacted” comments are necessary and, if you haven’t noticed, they don’t work. If anything, they make the situation worse. If you ask me, I don’t think you want it to stop.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@ibstubro It’s just the constant drumbeat (Take no fear, you are hardly in solo company.) of “Oh, poor pitiful me!”
Oh, is that what you thought? Let me clear it up, what you see as ”poor me” is nothing such. I know who I am, and certainly no one here is going to take that, my apologies if that is taken as holier than thou or arrogance, etc. it is just the truth. What you see is the byproduct of someone else’s snide comments; sometimes it is to eliminate sanctimonious hypocrisy; but then I would be dead wrong for voicing my observation.

It’s rare that you are able to make a post that doesn’t mention how abused you are. Having a different opinion or offering advice is not abuse. It’s human discourse.
I have never claimed I was abused here. Other might have, but not me. However, if I point out the aforementioned hypocrisy, then I am attacking someone and being rude; I just had an opinion that varied greatly from some of you. Curious how it seem those who say ”you should be able to have your beliefs challenged” are the first ones to go on the attack when I or someone else challenges their beliefs; maybe they should live more off the words they speak.

@livelaughlove21 It’s like you want to be the victim, @Hypocrisy_Central – the constant disclaimers and little comments about what you “can’t” say and what abuse you’ve endured here because of this type of question or that.
So, when people hurl insults you think I invited them to do so? Curious and what end would that be? Sounds like dubious logic to me. I have come to find unless I put a disclaimer stating what the question is not, imaginations run wild with what people think I said or meant, not what I actually said or meant.

Just ask the questions you want to ask, say what you want to say, and everyone here will do the same, as we should. Having an unpopular point of view doesn’t mean you’re exempt from being treated the same as everyone else.
You do not believe I am trying to do that? Sure, some people believe they can say anything and everything against what they disagree with, but let them get it back then the person giving it is a whole lot of things; all negative. If someone gets their sacred cow challenged they should do as suggested and deal with disproving it, civilly.

If the most popular jelly here said the same things you say, they’d get the same reaction, so taking it as a personal affront when people disagree with you is just being whiny.
That is a matter of opinion. I can say people are being whiny because they could not defend their sacred cow, or ended up hurling insults because of such, we can both be correct or wrong, its opinion.

Some things are meant as a personal affront (ahem), but every comment that contradicts what you believe is not an insult toward you.
Maybe you have missed a lot of the action, I disagree with many people on things but they don’t resort to insults, or veiled insults trying to label me in some slanderous way or calling me some stupid fool; when that happens, and it is so clear you could hit it with a shotgun 80 yards away, I will say something, and not be afraid doing it.

Telling people to just ignore your questions if they don’t agree? You know damn well that’s not how the Internet works. Saying people are only commenting on your question and not really answering it? It’s just a reason to complain about people disagreeing with you. Cut it out.
Again, you are off, (another reason for disclaimers), I never told anyone to ignore the question because they disagree, when someone is sniffling about they think the question is rude, it annoys them, it vexes them, etc. I tell them then, they should pass on by instead of inflicting discomfort on themselves chiming in on a question of mine they know is not going to do any good for them; that is why, never because they disagreed.

If they can ignore your questions, you can ignore their answers…and you don’t, so why should they?
Off again, I do ignore most questions, too worthless for my time, so I bypass them, that is my opinion. If I don’t ignore a question it is because I find it interesting enough to answer, maybe you should ask them if they answer mine because they believe it interesting enough to them to answer it, and if so why are they so upset when they do? I don”t ask a question simply as a conduit to attack the OP.

You obviously have thick skin, because you wouldn’t be here otherwise (the same can be said for many of us), but the pity party is just drawing more and more attention to you in a negative light.
If there is a party it was not me, you need to find out who set out the soda, chips and dip.

No disclaimers or little “redacted” comments are necessary and, if you haven’t noticed, they don’t work. If anything, they make the situation worse. If you ask me, I don’t think you want it to stop.
And next you are going to tell me that any comment or question said as an opinion of a person will never be seen as hate speech, trolling, rude, obnoxious, bla, bla, bla, because it point blank got in the face of someone with less think skin sacred cow? Until I know the shrinking violets can handle a streak that tough I have to cut up the pieces for them.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Off again, I do ignore most questions, too worthless for my time, so I bypass them, that is my opinion.

When did I say you don’t ignore questions? I asked why can’t you ignore the answers you find “worthless,” but you expect people to ignore your questions if they are going to give an answer you’d rather not get.

And next you are going to tell me that any comment or question said as an opinion of a person will never be seen as hate speech, trolling, rude, obnoxious, bla, bla, bla, because it point blank got in the face of someone with less think skin sacred cow? Until I know the shrinking violets can handle a streak that tough I have to cut up the pieces for them.

….what? And what is all this sacred cow nonsense? Plain English will do just fine. I don’t need nonsensical analogies to understand what you’re trying to say.

Regardless, I stand by what I said. It’s whining, it’s a pity party, it’s unnecessary, and you’re just making yourself more of a victim for some reason I haven’t quite figured out.

gailcalled's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central: Predictable, repetitive, tedious, prolix and unclear answers remain predictible, repetitive, tedious, prolix and unclear.

(If I too am allowed to be repetitive, there is also verbose, orotund, high-flown, high-sounding, overwrought, pretentious, ostentatious, grandiloquent, highfalutin, puffed up, and fustian. This is completely unreelated to asking friends of mine to join Fluther, but why should that matter?)

rojo's avatar

I like “fustian”

Symbeline's avatar

I like puffed up. Big soft puffy pillows!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@livelaughlove21 And what is all this sacred cow nonsense? Plain English will do just fine.
Sure, why not? We can take another side trip. One of the biggest sacred cows around her is sexual orientation, to have an opinion that it is not totally normal and or unchangeable rather than it being seen as an opinion of the poster I have seen those who find themselves in the statement get pissed and start their whining and lobbing out hate speech, bigot, narrow-minded, etc. Certainly good motivation for me not to invite anyone here unless they are part of the 97%, they speak their mind they will get labeled at best or maybe even attacked off their belief or opinion.

jerv's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central You don’t exactly invite the insults; you merely paint a fluorescent bullseye on yourself and start jumping up and down, waving your arms. Not an explicit invitation, but it’s easy to see how one may misinterpret your message.

gailcalled's avatar

^^ Thanks. Added two minutes to my walk today.

ibstubro's avatar

OMG. ”Plain English will do just fine.

From the King of “If the cow jumped over the moon and I know that everyone here desires to moon me would it rain in France or snow in England if the temperature was exactly the same in both places and the frog was green?”

livelaughlove21's avatar

@ibstubro Should I know what you mean by that?

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